Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Everything
One of my all-time favorite songs... used to make an EXTREMELY powerful skit! It really does make you think though. All that junk... all those earthly desires that distract us and bring us further from Christ. How far do we have to be away from God to finally realize that GOD is ALL WE NEED! That he is EVERYTHING! There are many times when we feel like we have sinned against God so much that all He wants to do is punish us. But this skit shows us exactly what God wants to do.
Thanks to Daniel Mok for finding this on facebook and posting it on his page so I could see it. Enjoy.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Birthday Weekend '07
Wow, what a way to celebrate your birthday! What is it that I did, you ask? Why, I wrote my EMT Provincial exam over the weekend!! Have I ever mentioned that the exam style for ACP (Alberta College of Paramedics) is one of the most stressful times ever! lol
Friday night. I drove up to Red Deer College to write my 200 multiple choice exam. Which I have to wait 4-6 weeks before I get to find out what my results are. I need 75% or 150 questions right to pass. I KNOW I didn't get 100% for sure. Now I'm just going to pray and hope that I got no less than 50 questions wrong!! lol
Sunday morning. I drove up to Red Deer at 5:30am to get there on time to do my practical exams! And waiting in a room for about 2-3 hours before you get to do your first scenario is HIGHLY stressful! But I aced my first scenario... the Medical scenario! It was a 250lb dude that is a Type I Diabetic that had less to eat then he usually does but also worked out twice as much that day. So, naturally, he was suffering from hypoglycemia. So... get the firefighters to lift this... huge dude into the ambulance, lol... and then give him some D50W which is a hyperglycemic. And watch him recover. While ofcourse, going through a primary and a secondary survey to make sure no other injury or illness might be occuring concurrently as the hypoglycemia. Simple!!
Then I got to sit in another room NOT KNOWING what my results from my first scenario was for about another hour or two before I got to do my second scenario. The Trauma scenario! Which, I did perfectly fine in but made ONE mistake. This patient was in a single car rollover at over 100km per hour and was thrown from the car to land 8 meters away from the vehicle. Open fracture to the top left portion of the head with ICP - Intracranial Pressure. I did everything required except one thing. My patient WOULD have survived... but it was not the BEST treatment possible, so FAIL!! arghh!! lol. I did not increase the assisted ventilation rate to 1 in 3 seconds from the 1 in 5 seconds I had him being bagged at. So, because I had him being ventilated at 12 breaths per minute instead of 20 breaths per minute, I failed. And there is only ONE case of ICP where you're supposed to hyperventilate the patient, and that was it, lol. DOH!!
So, I was given one chance to re-test and take another trauma scenario. If I pass the re-test, then good. If I don't pass the re-test, then I'd have to apply for another chance in February to take the exam all over again. So, ofcourse I'll take the re-test. And had to wait another 2 hours before that occurred. But I passed that one, even though I was so stressed out during that scenario that I needed to take two time outs to gather my thoughts. But this patient fell from his roof while cleaning the eave troughs and limped back into the house to sit in a chair. I blanked on how to move him out of the house and chair while maintaining spinal immobilization and ALMOST, ALMOST ruled out spinal immobilization!! Luckily, I used a time out and figured out a way to move him out as safely as possible. But man did I freak out about whether or not I passed or failed that one because of my blanking out during my scenario. I HONESTLY thought that I had screwed up and made a mistake... but I was ECSTATIC when they told me that I passed half-an-hour later of depressive thoughts of failure, lol!!
Anyways... yeah, so THANK GOD that I passed my practical exams! And I hope that passed my written, cause then I won't have to redo anything. AND then I can start job-hunting and see what type of opportunities are out there!!
Oh, and thanks to all those who came out to dinner after my exam for my birthday! Thanks for all those who got me presents! And Jacklyn for making such a nice birthday card! =)
Friday night. I drove up to Red Deer College to write my 200 multiple choice exam. Which I have to wait 4-6 weeks before I get to find out what my results are. I need 75% or 150 questions right to pass. I KNOW I didn't get 100% for sure. Now I'm just going to pray and hope that I got no less than 50 questions wrong!! lol
Sunday morning. I drove up to Red Deer at 5:30am to get there on time to do my practical exams! And waiting in a room for about 2-3 hours before you get to do your first scenario is HIGHLY stressful! But I aced my first scenario... the Medical scenario! It was a 250lb dude that is a Type I Diabetic that had less to eat then he usually does but also worked out twice as much that day. So, naturally, he was suffering from hypoglycemia. So... get the firefighters to lift this... huge dude into the ambulance, lol... and then give him some D50W which is a hyperglycemic. And watch him recover. While ofcourse, going through a primary and a secondary survey to make sure no other injury or illness might be occuring concurrently as the hypoglycemia. Simple!!
Then I got to sit in another room NOT KNOWING what my results from my first scenario was for about another hour or two before I got to do my second scenario. The Trauma scenario! Which, I did perfectly fine in but made ONE mistake. This patient was in a single car rollover at over 100km per hour and was thrown from the car to land 8 meters away from the vehicle. Open fracture to the top left portion of the head with ICP - Intracranial Pressure. I did everything required except one thing. My patient WOULD have survived... but it was not the BEST treatment possible, so FAIL!! arghh!! lol. I did not increase the assisted ventilation rate to 1 in 3 seconds from the 1 in 5 seconds I had him being bagged at. So, because I had him being ventilated at 12 breaths per minute instead of 20 breaths per minute, I failed. And there is only ONE case of ICP where you're supposed to hyperventilate the patient, and that was it, lol. DOH!!
So, I was given one chance to re-test and take another trauma scenario. If I pass the re-test, then good. If I don't pass the re-test, then I'd have to apply for another chance in February to take the exam all over again. So, ofcourse I'll take the re-test. And had to wait another 2 hours before that occurred. But I passed that one, even though I was so stressed out during that scenario that I needed to take two time outs to gather my thoughts. But this patient fell from his roof while cleaning the eave troughs and limped back into the house to sit in a chair. I blanked on how to move him out of the house and chair while maintaining spinal immobilization and ALMOST, ALMOST ruled out spinal immobilization!! Luckily, I used a time out and figured out a way to move him out as safely as possible. But man did I freak out about whether or not I passed or failed that one because of my blanking out during my scenario. I HONESTLY thought that I had screwed up and made a mistake... but I was ECSTATIC when they told me that I passed half-an-hour later of depressive thoughts of failure, lol!!
Anyways... yeah, so THANK GOD that I passed my practical exams! And I hope that passed my written, cause then I won't have to redo anything. AND then I can start job-hunting and see what type of opportunities are out there!!
Oh, and thanks to all those who came out to dinner after my exam for my birthday! Thanks for all those who got me presents! And Jacklyn for making such a nice birthday card! =)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
My NHL Fantasy Team
Okay... actually... it's my picks for the probable Flames lineup for this season. This is by request of a certain Kenric Hum who finds it hilarious that I posted my thoughts about the Flames lineup last year and says that I need to post one up this year cause it is now "tradition"!! lol. At which point at the family dinner... Karen suddenly perked up from across the table and said... "huh?" =)
Anyways, here it is!
Forwards
Tanguay - Langkow - Iginla = Had moments last season of being a VERY good top line and should only be better this year. Tanguay did not start off last season very well but still ended the season with a point-per-game and should improve upon that since he is now more comfortable in Calgary. Langkow has been a very steady 2-way center for most of his career and has continued to improve in his offensive output as well. Iginla... no brainer to be on the top line.
Huselius - Lombardi - Moss = Huselius really could almost make a run for the number one left-wing spot with Tanguay and probably will switch with Tanguay every so often, but is probably better suited on the second line where he should have more room to dipsy-doodle against the 2nd checking line. Lombardi proved that he has the offensive talent to succeed offensively through the World Championships last spring and has continued to improve his game and so long as he plays with some sort of consistency will be a good 2nd line centerman. I'm placing Moss on the 2nd line cause I feel that his presence in front of the net and his crashing ways will open up space for both the crafty Huselius and the speedy Lombardi. It will also make more sense when you look at the rest of my forward lines, lol.
Nilson - Yelle - Stevenson/Boyd = The checking line. Nilson and Yelle are both top defensive forwards in the league and will shut down the opposing teams top lines on a consistent basis. Stevenson/Boyd will be the rookies that step in and putting them on a line with Yelle will be the most beneficial for them and the team as Yelle is the steadiest of all the forwards. Stevenson/Boyd will also add some speed and youth and offensive talent to a checking line that may find some chances up front as well.
Primeau - Conroy - Nolan = The veteran/energy/checking line. All 3 players are veteran players with a ton of experience that will help stabilize the game when required. All 3 players are also great defensive forwards that are capable of shutting down the opposing teams top lines as well as the Nilson/Yelle line. All 3 forwards are also capable of adding some offensive touch to their games as well and should add some much needed relief for the top 2 scoring lines as well.
Those are my forward lines. I believe that this will allow the Flames to roll all 4 lines consistently and be a threat with each line. The 2nd line may not be as strong with Moss on the right wing, but it allows the 4th line to be an asset and no longer a liability when on the ice.
Also, I believe that Godard will be the 13th forward and will replace Stevenson/Boyd during games when they play a team with an enforcer such as Minnesota with Boogard.
Defence
Phaneuf - Sarich = Sarich is (from all I can tell) a very steady defensive-defenceman that will be able to stabilize the back end while allowing Phaneuf to join the rush or pinch in more as it appears that Phaneuf seems to be adding that extra offensive dimension to his game as of late. A steady defensive-defenceman will be more beneficial for Phaneuf as Hamrlik seemed to not be able to get back in time to cover for the times that Phaneuf went pinching in the ofensive zone.
Regehr - Aucoin = Both are extremely hard hitting defenceman. But now Aucoin brings a more offensive minded approach to the game as well and should help Regehr get out of his own zone better compared to last season.
Warrener - Erickson = Both are very steady defenceman. Warrerner is your defensive-defenceman and Erickson is apparently the smooth-skating defenceman that can join the rush as well.
Hale will be the 7th defenceman with Pardy being a close 8th.
Goaltending
Kiprusoff = any question that it will be Kipper manning the nets for the Flames? The only question is... will he get the $35mil for 5 year deal ($7mill per year - same as Iginla) that he is asking for? Or will he sign for less like around $5.5mil per year (which is more then Brodeur, but less then Luongo)?
McHinney = for the simple reason as Krahn is injured in the preseason and probably lost his best chance of getting the position. Both were great in the minor leagues... but to see how they do in the NHL is another question.
Power Play
PP1
Tanguay - Langkow - Iginla
Phaneuf - Aucoin
PP2
Huselius - Lombardi - Nolan
Regehr - Erickson
Penalty Kill
5on4
PK1
Nilson - Yelle
Regehr - Warrener
PK2
Primeau - Conroy
Phaneuf - Sarich
Possible Forward Pairings:
Huselius - Lombardi
Langkow - Iginla
Tanguay - Nolan
5on3
PK1
Yelle
Regehr - Warrener
PK2
Conroy
Phaneuf - Sarich
Possible Forwards:
Nilson
Primeau
Langkow
Lombardi
Anyways, here it is!
Forwards
Tanguay - Langkow - Iginla = Had moments last season of being a VERY good top line and should only be better this year. Tanguay did not start off last season very well but still ended the season with a point-per-game and should improve upon that since he is now more comfortable in Calgary. Langkow has been a very steady 2-way center for most of his career and has continued to improve in his offensive output as well. Iginla... no brainer to be on the top line.
Huselius - Lombardi - Moss = Huselius really could almost make a run for the number one left-wing spot with Tanguay and probably will switch with Tanguay every so often, but is probably better suited on the second line where he should have more room to dipsy-doodle against the 2nd checking line. Lombardi proved that he has the offensive talent to succeed offensively through the World Championships last spring and has continued to improve his game and so long as he plays with some sort of consistency will be a good 2nd line centerman. I'm placing Moss on the 2nd line cause I feel that his presence in front of the net and his crashing ways will open up space for both the crafty Huselius and the speedy Lombardi. It will also make more sense when you look at the rest of my forward lines, lol.
Nilson - Yelle - Stevenson/Boyd = The checking line. Nilson and Yelle are both top defensive forwards in the league and will shut down the opposing teams top lines on a consistent basis. Stevenson/Boyd will be the rookies that step in and putting them on a line with Yelle will be the most beneficial for them and the team as Yelle is the steadiest of all the forwards. Stevenson/Boyd will also add some speed and youth and offensive talent to a checking line that may find some chances up front as well.
Primeau - Conroy - Nolan = The veteran/energy/checking line. All 3 players are veteran players with a ton of experience that will help stabilize the game when required. All 3 players are also great defensive forwards that are capable of shutting down the opposing teams top lines as well as the Nilson/Yelle line. All 3 forwards are also capable of adding some offensive touch to their games as well and should add some much needed relief for the top 2 scoring lines as well.
Those are my forward lines. I believe that this will allow the Flames to roll all 4 lines consistently and be a threat with each line. The 2nd line may not be as strong with Moss on the right wing, but it allows the 4th line to be an asset and no longer a liability when on the ice.
Also, I believe that Godard will be the 13th forward and will replace Stevenson/Boyd during games when they play a team with an enforcer such as Minnesota with Boogard.
Defence
Phaneuf - Sarich = Sarich is (from all I can tell) a very steady defensive-defenceman that will be able to stabilize the back end while allowing Phaneuf to join the rush or pinch in more as it appears that Phaneuf seems to be adding that extra offensive dimension to his game as of late. A steady defensive-defenceman will be more beneficial for Phaneuf as Hamrlik seemed to not be able to get back in time to cover for the times that Phaneuf went pinching in the ofensive zone.
Regehr - Aucoin = Both are extremely hard hitting defenceman. But now Aucoin brings a more offensive minded approach to the game as well and should help Regehr get out of his own zone better compared to last season.
Warrener - Erickson = Both are very steady defenceman. Warrerner is your defensive-defenceman and Erickson is apparently the smooth-skating defenceman that can join the rush as well.
Hale will be the 7th defenceman with Pardy being a close 8th.
Goaltending
Kiprusoff = any question that it will be Kipper manning the nets for the Flames? The only question is... will he get the $35mil for 5 year deal ($7mill per year - same as Iginla) that he is asking for? Or will he sign for less like around $5.5mil per year (which is more then Brodeur, but less then Luongo)?
McHinney = for the simple reason as Krahn is injured in the preseason and probably lost his best chance of getting the position. Both were great in the minor leagues... but to see how they do in the NHL is another question.
Power Play
PP1
Tanguay - Langkow - Iginla
Phaneuf - Aucoin
PP2
Huselius - Lombardi - Nolan
Regehr - Erickson
Penalty Kill
5on4
PK1
Nilson - Yelle
Regehr - Warrener
PK2
Primeau - Conroy
Phaneuf - Sarich
Possible Forward Pairings:
Huselius - Lombardi
Langkow - Iginla
Tanguay - Nolan
5on3
PK1
Yelle
Regehr - Warrener
PK2
Conroy
Phaneuf - Sarich
Possible Forwards:
Nilson
Primeau
Langkow
Lombardi
Friday, September 21, 2007
GDL
GDL... no longer!! lol. After 4 years, I finally got off my lazy butt and did my Advanced Road Test!! And to think... the only reason why I got off of the GDL was so I could get my Class 4! Oh well. At least I PASSED! lol. So nervous taking that test... I haven't driven... properly... for 4 years!!
The hardest thing was trying to keep both hands on the steering wheel at all times, lol and staying under the ACTUAL speed limit! I also went out a bit earlier to practice driving and practice parallel parking! I was 3 for 3 during my practices, lol! But luckily, my examiner chose not to test me on any parking so there was no chance of me accidentally hitting the curb or something!! =)
Otherwise, for those of you who are planning on taking the Advanced Road test and still have not or can not yet... It's basically the same as the first road test. Just longer (twice as long - so my examiner said). Double the length with the same amount of mistakes allowed. AND you have to verbalize when you see any potential hazards while driving.
I got docked 3 times. Twice for apparently not shoulder checking, but I'm sure I did. (I probably just didn't make it obvious). And one for going 40km on an exit ramp when I should have been going at 30km/h. Oh well. I PASSED!!
The hardest thing was trying to keep both hands on the steering wheel at all times, lol and staying under the ACTUAL speed limit! I also went out a bit earlier to practice driving and practice parallel parking! I was 3 for 3 during my practices, lol! But luckily, my examiner chose not to test me on any parking so there was no chance of me accidentally hitting the curb or something!! =)
Otherwise, for those of you who are planning on taking the Advanced Road test and still have not or can not yet... It's basically the same as the first road test. Just longer (twice as long - so my examiner said). Double the length with the same amount of mistakes allowed. AND you have to verbalize when you see any potential hazards while driving.
I got docked 3 times. Twice for apparently not shoulder checking, but I'm sure I did. (I probably just didn't make it obvious). And one for going 40km on an exit ramp when I should have been going at 30km/h. Oh well. I PASSED!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Year 6
Wow, this would have been my 6th year of school after HS... time has gone by so quickly!! In grade 12... I imagined that I would be in Med School by now, lol. How things change. For better or worse... only God knows.
Where am I right now? On another stupid night shift at the Childrens hospital... bored out of my mind but too tired (cause I didn't nap before this shift) to study. Facebook and surfing the net has kept me up for now, lol. But where am I right now in life... Working (Portering at the Childrens Hospital - not much of an accomplishment) and hopefully to be a CPR Instuctor real soon! I am a graduated EMT studying for my mid-October provincial certification exam that I really need to refresh/study for soon. Hopefully, when I pass and receive my certification I can get a job somewhere (probably rural) for half-a-year or so to gain some much-needed experience. And then get into the SAIT paramedic program for next september. And be a paramedic by 2010.
Not quite where I figured I would be when I graduated from HS in 2002. But oh well. I guess I am content with my life right now. Though I still wish I had better study/work habits!! Guess the only way to improve would be to keep working on it instead of just wishing!! lol
Anyways... not much else is happening in my life that seems all-so-boring.
Where am I right now? On another stupid night shift at the Childrens hospital... bored out of my mind but too tired (cause I didn't nap before this shift) to study. Facebook and surfing the net has kept me up for now, lol. But where am I right now in life... Working (Portering at the Childrens Hospital - not much of an accomplishment) and hopefully to be a CPR Instuctor real soon! I am a graduated EMT studying for my mid-October provincial certification exam that I really need to refresh/study for soon. Hopefully, when I pass and receive my certification I can get a job somewhere (probably rural) for half-a-year or so to gain some much-needed experience. And then get into the SAIT paramedic program for next september. And be a paramedic by 2010.
Not quite where I figured I would be when I graduated from HS in 2002. But oh well. I guess I am content with my life right now. Though I still wish I had better study/work habits!! Guess the only way to improve would be to keep working on it instead of just wishing!! lol
Anyways... not much else is happening in my life that seems all-so-boring.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Past, Present, Future
Now that DVBS '07 "Journey To Egypt" is officially over... I've had some time to think about VBS and about life in general.
VBS: The Past
After VBS ended today, I pulled my 3 leaders away for their end of VBS review... and all I got was 3 very tired... very bored... very uninterested youth staring back at me. None seemed to care. None seemed to want to be there... and none of them wanted to say anything and it made me wonder. In the past 4 months of working with them and training them... did I even make an impact on their lives? Or did I do that poor of a job at being a leader for them? Was there more that I could have done? Was there more that I SHOULD have done? Did I fail in my attempt to train them and to be a leader for them? And the more I think about it... the more I think I did. Should I have done things differently... said things differently? Probably. Could I have done things differently... said things differently? Definitely. And I failed to do so.
VBS: The Present
Now that VBS is over... I need to start looking back over the entire program and coming up with a review for the Deacon Board. And I'm scared. I don't know what to say... it feels like we didn't reach expectations and I'm scared. I need to explain why we didn't get the numbers we wanted... why we did this or didn't do that... but most importantly... the numbers. It feels like everyone expected much higher numbers then what we actually achieved... and there are so many theories as to why we didn't... I ... just ... don't ... know ...
VBS: The Future
About a week or 2 ago... I started thinking about next years VBS. I don't know why... but I started thinking about it again when I was sleeping (or half-asleep) and so much of what will happen to next years VBS will hinge on my report that I give to the board regarding this years VBS (or so I think...) and I'm scared. I have high hopes for next year and I have an idea of who I would like to lead and whether or not they can or will even be given permission by the board to lead it... and strangely... I've already started planning for it... it's weird. I have my coordinator lined up... the support cast lined up. When they should start preparing a proposal... how to prepare the proposal... what to do to take away the doubts about not getting sufficient numbers like this year... everything. But those are all hopes... which in my mind are based on whether or not my report this year is good and... then I have to get past the doubts I have on whether or not I even made an impact on these youths lives... and whether or not I should even get involved (even a little) next year. Probably not... but then are these dreams... purely my own dreams... or are they from God? I still don't know whether or not me stepping in to supervise this year was a dream from God or just my own thoughts going...
My Life: The Past
After I started seeing myself as a failure again this year in regards to training these youth to be leaders... it brought up an old wound that seems to never heal and never go away. My time at UofA. I've taught these youth (or at least tried to) to always give their ALL in EVERY opportunity that God provides for them... and I didn't give my all when I was at UofA. I gave almost nothing... and I still wonder... what could have been if I had given my all? I dropped the ball when I was at UofA and I know it... I was given an opportunity and I dropped the ball. ... I understand that this is the past and it's over and there isn't anything I can do about it anymore... but every so often, it resurfaces... the doubt... the frustration...
My Life: The Present
And everytime I look back at all these doubts and wonder whether or not I've truly learned from them... and I don't think I have. I officially became a graduated EMT at the end of June and I graduated with a 4.0... and yet I didn't give my all. I didn't try my best. I slacked off... I was lazy... the only difference this time was my mark. 4.0. But it means NOTHING in this field. I can get a 4.0 in school all I want and unless I perform on the field with REAL lives in my hands... I'm nothing. And it makes me scared... am I a medic just because I've graduated and will have a license to practice in this trade? Or will I only be a medic when I've fully given myself over to that profession? Will I ever? Or will these doubts take me down again? Will this cycle never end? LORD, help me BREAK through these CHAINS that hold me DOWN!
My Life: The Future
There are times when it feels like I put my life on hold for VBS... and now that it's over. I have to put my life back on play. And now I need to search for a job... a real one... in my field. This job at the hospital is great. But it's a temporary position. But I'm scared. I'm not a medic yet... I know I need the experience... but I'm scared of gaining that experience because I'm scared of messing up! And I KNOW that if I find a job as an EMT right now... it will most likely (95%) be rural. And I'm scared... of moving away again... of being a medic... of having lives FULLY in my care... in my hands. Am I ready for this? I don't know.
The only thing I know for sure right now is that I am slowly going crazy with all these thoughts bombarding my mind at the same time! And I have not cried in quite a while... years now... but during worship tonight... I just broke down. I'm so lost. Yet, even with Summer Camp around the corner... I'm scared... I'm scared of asking God for guidance... cause I'm afraid of what the answer will be...
VBS: The Past
After VBS ended today, I pulled my 3 leaders away for their end of VBS review... and all I got was 3 very tired... very bored... very uninterested youth staring back at me. None seemed to care. None seemed to want to be there... and none of them wanted to say anything and it made me wonder. In the past 4 months of working with them and training them... did I even make an impact on their lives? Or did I do that poor of a job at being a leader for them? Was there more that I could have done? Was there more that I SHOULD have done? Did I fail in my attempt to train them and to be a leader for them? And the more I think about it... the more I think I did. Should I have done things differently... said things differently? Probably. Could I have done things differently... said things differently? Definitely. And I failed to do so.
VBS: The Present
Now that VBS is over... I need to start looking back over the entire program and coming up with a review for the Deacon Board. And I'm scared. I don't know what to say... it feels like we didn't reach expectations and I'm scared. I need to explain why we didn't get the numbers we wanted... why we did this or didn't do that... but most importantly... the numbers. It feels like everyone expected much higher numbers then what we actually achieved... and there are so many theories as to why we didn't... I ... just ... don't ... know ...
VBS: The Future
About a week or 2 ago... I started thinking about next years VBS. I don't know why... but I started thinking about it again when I was sleeping (or half-asleep) and so much of what will happen to next years VBS will hinge on my report that I give to the board regarding this years VBS (or so I think...) and I'm scared. I have high hopes for next year and I have an idea of who I would like to lead and whether or not they can or will even be given permission by the board to lead it... and strangely... I've already started planning for it... it's weird. I have my coordinator lined up... the support cast lined up. When they should start preparing a proposal... how to prepare the proposal... what to do to take away the doubts about not getting sufficient numbers like this year... everything. But those are all hopes... which in my mind are based on whether or not my report this year is good and... then I have to get past the doubts I have on whether or not I even made an impact on these youths lives... and whether or not I should even get involved (even a little) next year. Probably not... but then are these dreams... purely my own dreams... or are they from God? I still don't know whether or not me stepping in to supervise this year was a dream from God or just my own thoughts going...
My Life: The Past
After I started seeing myself as a failure again this year in regards to training these youth to be leaders... it brought up an old wound that seems to never heal and never go away. My time at UofA. I've taught these youth (or at least tried to) to always give their ALL in EVERY opportunity that God provides for them... and I didn't give my all when I was at UofA. I gave almost nothing... and I still wonder... what could have been if I had given my all? I dropped the ball when I was at UofA and I know it... I was given an opportunity and I dropped the ball. ... I understand that this is the past and it's over and there isn't anything I can do about it anymore... but every so often, it resurfaces... the doubt... the frustration...
My Life: The Present
And everytime I look back at all these doubts and wonder whether or not I've truly learned from them... and I don't think I have. I officially became a graduated EMT at the end of June and I graduated with a 4.0... and yet I didn't give my all. I didn't try my best. I slacked off... I was lazy... the only difference this time was my mark. 4.0. But it means NOTHING in this field. I can get a 4.0 in school all I want and unless I perform on the field with REAL lives in my hands... I'm nothing. And it makes me scared... am I a medic just because I've graduated and will have a license to practice in this trade? Or will I only be a medic when I've fully given myself over to that profession? Will I ever? Or will these doubts take me down again? Will this cycle never end? LORD, help me BREAK through these CHAINS that hold me DOWN!
My Life: The Future
There are times when it feels like I put my life on hold for VBS... and now that it's over. I have to put my life back on play. And now I need to search for a job... a real one... in my field. This job at the hospital is great. But it's a temporary position. But I'm scared. I'm not a medic yet... I know I need the experience... but I'm scared of gaining that experience because I'm scared of messing up! And I KNOW that if I find a job as an EMT right now... it will most likely (95%) be rural. And I'm scared... of moving away again... of being a medic... of having lives FULLY in my care... in my hands. Am I ready for this? I don't know.
The only thing I know for sure right now is that I am slowly going crazy with all these thoughts bombarding my mind at the same time! And I have not cried in quite a while... years now... but during worship tonight... I just broke down. I'm so lost. Yet, even with Summer Camp around the corner... I'm scared... I'm scared of asking God for guidance... cause I'm afraid of what the answer will be...
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Tour 4
Friday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- last tour now... do or die! Under the microscope now! So CLOSE to passing and graduating... and yet so far from actually doing so! Anything can happen in one tour that can really screw you over!
- one real call today: 14 year old girl who fainted during her exam and was unresponsive for around 5 minutes. She was perfectly fine when we got out there to Chestermere. BUT her bp was really low for unknown reasons so... we transported her.
- two other 'fake' calls: one was a supposed OD... but he wasn't and it was more police matter so we just left. And another was a 4 car accident with some pretty bad damage... but all 4 drivers were perfectly fine and walking around with absolutely no complaints... so we left and left it to police and fire.
Saturday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- not a bad day... 3 calls total.
- first call was for a 16 year old pregnant girl whose contractions were starting. The info we were given on our way there made us think we had an imminent delivery on our hands... but she was only 3cm dilated by the time we got her to the hospital... so she has another 24 hours to wait or so, lol. But 16 years old!!
- second call was for an elderly lady who slipped and fell and 'possibly' dislocated her hip as the doctor who 'assessed' her on the PHONE determined! When we got there... she had perfect mobility to both legs... good distal pulses AND was able to weight bear and walk on her own! Phone assessments from doctors... to a nursing home that apparently is considered one of the WORST in all of Calgary. sigh.
- third call was for an elderly man who was feeling weak and having tremors all over. He started to get wheezes on the way to the hospital... and had a high fever without him knowing about it... very strange symptoms. But probably sepsis.
Sunday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- dropped by the EMS headquarters to get some maintenance work done on our equipment... it's a nice building.
- had 2 actual calls all night. One was someone with... what appears from all accounts to be indigestion! lol. That was a strange call. The other was a patient who had problems everywhere... pain everywhere... headache, sharp jaw pain... chest pain that moved around... left flank pain... left hip pain... right arm numbness... left arm pain... and in the end... we gave him some drugs and he felt better and decided to leave the hospital before even getting checked out cause the wait time was too "long"... some people... the WORST pain in his life ever... and he decides to just walk out because the wait was too long, lol. Was looking after another crews patient so that that crew could go home since their shift ended... and that patient decides that he NEEDS to go for a smoke... so... we bumped him back into the waiting room!
- had another car accident on Deerfoot... with absolutely no injuries again, lol
Monday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- had 4 calls tonight. One was someone with extreme food poisoning from eating at Oriental Phoenix, lol. One was with possible kidney stones. Another was a bipolar patient who OD'd and was hallucinating seeing maggots in which he then attempted to burn the maggots with a can of hair spray and a lighter!! The last one was a 14 year old female who was totally intoxicated... enough that we almost intubated her. We pumped some fluid into her and she regained some consciousness and then started asking for hugs and kisses... so... we figured she had taken Ecstacy and probably a bunch of other drugs as well.
- So, I passed my practicum!! Which means I passed my course! 4.0! lol Now, I just have to wait 4 months for my provincial certification exam... sigh. Oh well... gives me time to focus on DVBS and the future...
- Leaning towards maybe working Rural for a year or two... seems the experience gained through Rural will benefit me as a medic overall. I could probably jump directly into city or Calgary Health region... but I'd be a poor medic because I wouldn't have the experiences. So... I'm going to start looking into rural placements!
- last tour now... do or die! Under the microscope now! So CLOSE to passing and graduating... and yet so far from actually doing so! Anything can happen in one tour that can really screw you over!
- one real call today: 14 year old girl who fainted during her exam and was unresponsive for around 5 minutes. She was perfectly fine when we got out there to Chestermere. BUT her bp was really low for unknown reasons so... we transported her.
- two other 'fake' calls: one was a supposed OD... but he wasn't and it was more police matter so we just left. And another was a 4 car accident with some pretty bad damage... but all 4 drivers were perfectly fine and walking around with absolutely no complaints... so we left and left it to police and fire.
Saturday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- not a bad day... 3 calls total.
- first call was for a 16 year old pregnant girl whose contractions were starting. The info we were given on our way there made us think we had an imminent delivery on our hands... but she was only 3cm dilated by the time we got her to the hospital... so she has another 24 hours to wait or so, lol. But 16 years old!!
- second call was for an elderly lady who slipped and fell and 'possibly' dislocated her hip as the doctor who 'assessed' her on the PHONE determined! When we got there... she had perfect mobility to both legs... good distal pulses AND was able to weight bear and walk on her own! Phone assessments from doctors... to a nursing home that apparently is considered one of the WORST in all of Calgary. sigh.
- third call was for an elderly man who was feeling weak and having tremors all over. He started to get wheezes on the way to the hospital... and had a high fever without him knowing about it... very strange symptoms. But probably sepsis.
Sunday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- dropped by the EMS headquarters to get some maintenance work done on our equipment... it's a nice building.
- had 2 actual calls all night. One was someone with... what appears from all accounts to be indigestion! lol. That was a strange call. The other was a patient who had problems everywhere... pain everywhere... headache, sharp jaw pain... chest pain that moved around... left flank pain... left hip pain... right arm numbness... left arm pain... and in the end... we gave him some drugs and he felt better and decided to leave the hospital before even getting checked out cause the wait time was too "long"... some people... the WORST pain in his life ever... and he decides to just walk out because the wait was too long, lol. Was looking after another crews patient so that that crew could go home since their shift ended... and that patient decides that he NEEDS to go for a smoke... so... we bumped him back into the waiting room!
- had another car accident on Deerfoot... with absolutely no injuries again, lol
Monday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- had 4 calls tonight. One was someone with extreme food poisoning from eating at Oriental Phoenix, lol. One was with possible kidney stones. Another was a bipolar patient who OD'd and was hallucinating seeing maggots in which he then attempted to burn the maggots with a can of hair spray and a lighter!! The last one was a 14 year old female who was totally intoxicated... enough that we almost intubated her. We pumped some fluid into her and she regained some consciousness and then started asking for hugs and kisses... so... we figured she had taken Ecstacy and probably a bunch of other drugs as well.
- So, I passed my practicum!! Which means I passed my course! 4.0! lol Now, I just have to wait 4 months for my provincial certification exam... sigh. Oh well... gives me time to focus on DVBS and the future...
- Leaning towards maybe working Rural for a year or two... seems the experience gained through Rural will benefit me as a medic overall. I could probably jump directly into city or Calgary Health region... but I'd be a poor medic because I wouldn't have the experiences. So... I'm going to start looking into rural placements!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Tour 3
Thursday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- tired... so very tired... from monday to monday... I'll have worked 72 hours... not including the hours I put into DVBS either.
- luckily, it was a NICE slow day. We had one call the entire day! lol. Boring... but a nice change of pace to the 5-6 calls a day!
- The call that we did receive was for someone who had urinary retention... otherwise known as the... "I CAN'T PEE" syndrome. :P
Friday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- Fastest start to a shift today... we tend to go in early (around 0700) to help relieve the shift before us early cause it SUCKS having to stay for an entire night shift... or any shift for that matter... and our first call was at 5 minutes after 7, lol. No time to get ready or anything... didn't even get a chance to look over our vehicle to make sure we had all the necessary equipment and supplies, lol
- Got 4 calls today. The first two were chest pains that the patients were afraid were possible heart attacks... turns out that neither of them were, so that was a good thing.
- The 3rd call was just plain stupid. Our patient who only spoke Punjabi was complaining of abdominal pain at a Walk-In Clinic and the doctor there called us to transport to the hospital. It honestly seemed like the doctor didn't even assess the patient... cause he read to us off a sheet of paper and didn't seem to really know what was going on. And then when I assessed our patient... I found nothing. My paramedic preceptor assessed our patient... and found nothing. The triage nurse assessed our patient... and found nothing. So, we ended up sending her into the waiting room. Stupid walk-in clinic doctor. We think it was just a flu...
- The 4th call was a sad call. 15 year old patient who wanted to commit suicide. She's the oldest of 7 siblings... and is counted to be the primary care-giver for the rest of her siblings. On her GRAD day... her mother came to school in the morning (the 7 month pregnant with TWINS mother) and ended up crying and screaming at her daughter saying everything was her fault, that she was useless and that she was no longer wanted and that the mother was going to call social services to take her away... the patient then stated she wanted to kill herself... so we had to transport her to the hospital... and I'm pretty sure she missed her grad night because of it.
- after seeing/hearing calls about 8-month old kids dying... 6 year old kids dying in the hospital... a 1 year old kid dying in their sleep and the parents coming to find a VERY dead child in the morning... this last call and so many more calls... I feel so BLESSED and I think one of the things I REALLY want to change about myself is to STOP COMPLAINING! 72 hours a week + VBS hours? Work, VBS, Sleep being my daily routine? Wow... I'm so happy that I CAN do that. But boy was I getting grouchy when I was hearing some of the youth complaining about very very trivial things...
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730)
- yet another tiring night shift with maybe an hour of down-time. Zzzzz
- pretty much zoned-out for this entire shift... which sucked bad. But had 6 calls again.
- started off with 2 consecutive calls to the Drop-In center... and man is it dirty and stinky and crowded!! You'd think that with the economy as it is... there wouldn't be so many people at the Drop-In... but man was it crowded... and scary... the first call was for a psych/suicidal ideation individual who has a history of depression that got fired from her job and wanted to OD but turned for medical help instead. I learned that I really need to gain some sort of empathy for patients... no matter how stupid it sounds or how stupid they sound... I still need some sort of empathy! Guess I need to work on my attitude about dealing with (my opinion of) stupid people. The second call there was for a seizure... and my first sight of... lice. I know I didn't get any on me, but man... me and my partner kept on feeling itchy for the rest of the night, lol.
- Third call was for a girl that had a bruise on her head from sibling rivalry. Fourth call was for MVC (motor vehicle crash) with the patient having neck pain... though not enough neck pain apparently to 'stoop' as low as having to pee into a bedpan. She'd rather sign a release form and walk to the washroom to go pee and possibly become a quadriplegic for the rest of her life then to pee into a bedpan. Fifth call was for another suicide attempt where the patient took about 60 pills and slit both wrists to absolutely no success (strange how health care workers always joke about how it was too bad they weren't successful cause then we wouldn't have to deal with them). Sixth call was for a patient who seemed to be having a bad reaction to a new drug that was prescribed to her the day before.
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730)
- probably the BEST night shift I've ever had! Went to bed at 2... slept till end of shift around 7, lol. Wow. Just wow.
- only 3 calls for this night shift.
- 1 call for an anxiety attack that came out as SOB (shortness of breath). Had a patient who was a walk-on for the rugby team that was trying to keep pace in drinking with his new rugby friends (and his rugby friends were the stereotypical rugby players... HUGE, no neck, BIG guys) that ended up not working so well for the little guy, lol. He ended up puking it out in the washroom and passed out enough that his friends (BIG RUGBY FRIENDS) thought his heart stopped and started CPR on the little dude, lol... they ended up doing about 3 compressions before the little guys eyes popped WIDE open and called EMS. :P We, along with all the nurses, had a good laugh at that. When the little guy gained some sort of sanity back later after puking some more... he complained of soreness to his left chest wall... and didn't know why, lol! And our last call of the night was some asian dude with rectal bleeding and I had to utilize my very limited cantonese to communicate with the family and patient. :P Luckily, he had very limited English... but enough to communicate roughly what we needed to know. :P
- tired... so very tired... from monday to monday... I'll have worked 72 hours... not including the hours I put into DVBS either.
- luckily, it was a NICE slow day. We had one call the entire day! lol. Boring... but a nice change of pace to the 5-6 calls a day!
- The call that we did receive was for someone who had urinary retention... otherwise known as the... "I CAN'T PEE" syndrome. :P
Friday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- Fastest start to a shift today... we tend to go in early (around 0700) to help relieve the shift before us early cause it SUCKS having to stay for an entire night shift... or any shift for that matter... and our first call was at 5 minutes after 7, lol. No time to get ready or anything... didn't even get a chance to look over our vehicle to make sure we had all the necessary equipment and supplies, lol
- Got 4 calls today. The first two were chest pains that the patients were afraid were possible heart attacks... turns out that neither of them were, so that was a good thing.
- The 3rd call was just plain stupid. Our patient who only spoke Punjabi was complaining of abdominal pain at a Walk-In Clinic and the doctor there called us to transport to the hospital. It honestly seemed like the doctor didn't even assess the patient... cause he read to us off a sheet of paper and didn't seem to really know what was going on. And then when I assessed our patient... I found nothing. My paramedic preceptor assessed our patient... and found nothing. The triage nurse assessed our patient... and found nothing. So, we ended up sending her into the waiting room. Stupid walk-in clinic doctor. We think it was just a flu...
- The 4th call was a sad call. 15 year old patient who wanted to commit suicide. She's the oldest of 7 siblings... and is counted to be the primary care-giver for the rest of her siblings. On her GRAD day... her mother came to school in the morning (the 7 month pregnant with TWINS mother) and ended up crying and screaming at her daughter saying everything was her fault, that she was useless and that she was no longer wanted and that the mother was going to call social services to take her away... the patient then stated she wanted to kill herself... so we had to transport her to the hospital... and I'm pretty sure she missed her grad night because of it.
- after seeing/hearing calls about 8-month old kids dying... 6 year old kids dying in the hospital... a 1 year old kid dying in their sleep and the parents coming to find a VERY dead child in the morning... this last call and so many more calls... I feel so BLESSED and I think one of the things I REALLY want to change about myself is to STOP COMPLAINING! 72 hours a week + VBS hours? Work, VBS, Sleep being my daily routine? Wow... I'm so happy that I CAN do that. But boy was I getting grouchy when I was hearing some of the youth complaining about very very trivial things...
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730)
- yet another tiring night shift with maybe an hour of down-time. Zzzzz
- pretty much zoned-out for this entire shift... which sucked bad. But had 6 calls again.
- started off with 2 consecutive calls to the Drop-In center... and man is it dirty and stinky and crowded!! You'd think that with the economy as it is... there wouldn't be so many people at the Drop-In... but man was it crowded... and scary... the first call was for a psych/suicidal ideation individual who has a history of depression that got fired from her job and wanted to OD but turned for medical help instead. I learned that I really need to gain some sort of empathy for patients... no matter how stupid it sounds or how stupid they sound... I still need some sort of empathy! Guess I need to work on my attitude about dealing with (my opinion of) stupid people. The second call there was for a seizure... and my first sight of... lice. I know I didn't get any on me, but man... me and my partner kept on feeling itchy for the rest of the night, lol.
- Third call was for a girl that had a bruise on her head from sibling rivalry. Fourth call was for MVC (motor vehicle crash) with the patient having neck pain... though not enough neck pain apparently to 'stoop' as low as having to pee into a bedpan. She'd rather sign a release form and walk to the washroom to go pee and possibly become a quadriplegic for the rest of her life then to pee into a bedpan. Fifth call was for another suicide attempt where the patient took about 60 pills and slit both wrists to absolutely no success (strange how health care workers always joke about how it was too bad they weren't successful cause then we wouldn't have to deal with them). Sixth call was for a patient who seemed to be having a bad reaction to a new drug that was prescribed to her the day before.
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730)
- probably the BEST night shift I've ever had! Went to bed at 2... slept till end of shift around 7, lol. Wow. Just wow.
- only 3 calls for this night shift.
- 1 call for an anxiety attack that came out as SOB (shortness of breath). Had a patient who was a walk-on for the rugby team that was trying to keep pace in drinking with his new rugby friends (and his rugby friends were the stereotypical rugby players... HUGE, no neck, BIG guys) that ended up not working so well for the little guy, lol. He ended up puking it out in the washroom and passed out enough that his friends (BIG RUGBY FRIENDS) thought his heart stopped and started CPR on the little dude, lol... they ended up doing about 3 compressions before the little guys eyes popped WIDE open and called EMS. :P We, along with all the nurses, had a good laugh at that. When the little guy gained some sort of sanity back later after puking some more... he complained of soreness to his left chest wall... and didn't know why, lol! And our last call of the night was some asian dude with rectal bleeding and I had to utilize my very limited cantonese to communicate with the family and patient. :P Luckily, he had very limited English... but enough to communicate roughly what we needed to know. :P
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tour 2
Wednesday Day Shift (0730-1530):
- PCR's (Patient Care Reports) are improving, so that's great!
- Still struggling to integrate theory and in-class scenarios into real-life situations... but that will come with time and experience!
- get 3 calls today... one crack addict in a VERY shady house with a possible OD. One schizo suffering from depression and who had possible suicidal thoughts after ingesting a lot of alcohol in the morning! and one chest pain with unknown diagnosis...
- had some down-time in the afternoon and went shopping again, lol. Went shopping at some old bookstore with a MILLION books! Also, was able to drop by the church for a quick look at the water damage to the Chinese side sound system and... from the looks of it... it's a goner! The amps at least... it looked like it was just pulled out of a swimming pool. That's how soaked it was! Sure hope the system was under warantee cause I honestly don't think it's going to operate again. I'm going to try to turn them on after they dry off and hope for the best, but very doubtful right now. *EDIT* Seems it works after all. Shocking!! Though it seems like one of the monitors is giving off static now.
- and worked an extra hour of overtime again!
Thursday Day Shift (0730-1730)
- wow, today was a long day. An hour overtime again. And pretty much non-stop all day long. We had to extend one of our hospital visits around 1pm just to have time to eat something for lunch!
- was informed to go into firefighting instead of becoming a paramedic. Cause of how crappy paramedics get treated by the city and the crappy dispatching and a whole whack load of other stupid things.
- had 5 calls today. One hypoglycemic (very little blood sugar) where we were surprised this person wasn't unconscious with how low their blood sugar level was. One highly intoxicated individual who passed out in the middle of a street after drinking yellow listerene. One badly dislocated elbow. One decreased level of consciousness with such a wide variety of issues that we still have no idea what was going on with this patient. And another decreased level of consciousness with feelings of dizziness and SOB (shortness of breath).
Friday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- for a Friday night, it wasn't too bad. Got 6 calls and about an hour of sleep.
- the first call we got was a drunk homeless guy who was complaining of having seizures... just so he could get a ride to the hospital and get free food. It's sad seeing them with nothing... but it's also stupid seeing them use the hospitals to get food and to tie up hospital assets cause now he has to have a bed so he can get checked out and keep other people with actual medical emergencies waiting... the nurse was really annoyed cause a 9 year old died in the emerg. earlier that day and it's like... man... though it was funny watching this guy 'pretend' to be having seizures in the hallway... and we'd be like, "what are you doing?" and he'd say "I'm seizing"!! sigh...
- second call was just a patient transport back home from the hospital. We found a possible psych-ward escapee on 17th ave that CPS ended up taking. Had a teen with a possible leg fracture. Got called for an assault where a guy was beat up bad and had some bleeding from the head, but he still wouldn't cooperate so CPS took him instead (and when the police finally found his ID... they were pretty shocked in an excited kind of way, so I think they got someone they've been after for a while... lol). And finished the night/early morning with someone with possible Septic shock but we found out the day after from one of the attending nurses that this patient actually had kidney failure (one of the rare times we actually find out what was actually WRONG with the patients we transport, lol).
- otherwise, another long night with little to no sleep.
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- another long night... with only half-an-hour of sleep. I should really consider firefighting, lol. That way I can at least get a couple hours of sleep every night shift!!
- 8 calls this night. One was a sore arm from a car accident with some cuts from the airbag. Had a SOB (shortness of breath) call that was resolved when the patient finally calmed down. Had a patient with abdominal pain.
- Got thrust into my first MAJOR trauma without any preparation as we were the second car on scene to a call we didn't receive (so no prior knowledge to what the call was about) and got sent with the crew of the first car and this patient had an unknown amount of knife wounds to his lower back and was bleeding out pretty badly. And even though he was bleeding out really badly, he was still fighting us while we were trying to save his life! lol... but then again, this patient also got pepper-sprayed by the police before medics arrived on scene too.
- One call was for a domestic disturbance where the patient either got slashed by a knife... or slashed herself with a knife, and was not cooperative either so CPS took her as well. Had a call where a VERY elderly patient slipped out of bed and couldn't get back up... so we ended up just checking her vitals and then more of less just lifting her back into bed. Finished the early morning with 2 patients at once (which we technically aren't supposed to do... but we did it because they were both simple enough patients we didn't want to bother anyone else in the early morning after a long night) The first one had drank 23 beers and had 3 lines of cocaine during the night and was complaining of his heart racing and we noticed that he was becoming paranoid. The second one was someone who got beat up and had continuous short-term memory loss which was strange cause he was perfectly fine except for cuts on his face... but then he started thinking we were psychic cause we knew information that he just gave us and we were like... ummm... okay there, lol.
- then went to church after the shift and fell asleep in my car right outside of the church cause I got there early and apparently people were staring at me while I was sleeping... or so I was told... strange.
- PCR's (Patient Care Reports) are improving, so that's great!
- Still struggling to integrate theory and in-class scenarios into real-life situations... but that will come with time and experience!
- get 3 calls today... one crack addict in a VERY shady house with a possible OD. One schizo suffering from depression and who had possible suicidal thoughts after ingesting a lot of alcohol in the morning! and one chest pain with unknown diagnosis...
- had some down-time in the afternoon and went shopping again, lol. Went shopping at some old bookstore with a MILLION books! Also, was able to drop by the church for a quick look at the water damage to the Chinese side sound system and... from the looks of it... it's a goner! The amps at least... it looked like it was just pulled out of a swimming pool. That's how soaked it was! Sure hope the system was under warantee cause I honestly don't think it's going to operate again. I'm going to try to turn them on after they dry off and hope for the best, but very doubtful right now. *EDIT* Seems it works after all. Shocking!! Though it seems like one of the monitors is giving off static now.
- and worked an extra hour of overtime again!
Thursday Day Shift (0730-1730)
- wow, today was a long day. An hour overtime again. And pretty much non-stop all day long. We had to extend one of our hospital visits around 1pm just to have time to eat something for lunch!
- was informed to go into firefighting instead of becoming a paramedic. Cause of how crappy paramedics get treated by the city and the crappy dispatching and a whole whack load of other stupid things.
- had 5 calls today. One hypoglycemic (very little blood sugar) where we were surprised this person wasn't unconscious with how low their blood sugar level was. One highly intoxicated individual who passed out in the middle of a street after drinking yellow listerene. One badly dislocated elbow. One decreased level of consciousness with such a wide variety of issues that we still have no idea what was going on with this patient. And another decreased level of consciousness with feelings of dizziness and SOB (shortness of breath).
Friday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- for a Friday night, it wasn't too bad. Got 6 calls and about an hour of sleep.
- the first call we got was a drunk homeless guy who was complaining of having seizures... just so he could get a ride to the hospital and get free food. It's sad seeing them with nothing... but it's also stupid seeing them use the hospitals to get food and to tie up hospital assets cause now he has to have a bed so he can get checked out and keep other people with actual medical emergencies waiting... the nurse was really annoyed cause a 9 year old died in the emerg. earlier that day and it's like... man... though it was funny watching this guy 'pretend' to be having seizures in the hallway... and we'd be like, "what are you doing?" and he'd say "I'm seizing"!! sigh...
- second call was just a patient transport back home from the hospital. We found a possible psych-ward escapee on 17th ave that CPS ended up taking. Had a teen with a possible leg fracture. Got called for an assault where a guy was beat up bad and had some bleeding from the head, but he still wouldn't cooperate so CPS took him instead (and when the police finally found his ID... they were pretty shocked in an excited kind of way, so I think they got someone they've been after for a while... lol). And finished the night/early morning with someone with possible Septic shock but we found out the day after from one of the attending nurses that this patient actually had kidney failure (one of the rare times we actually find out what was actually WRONG with the patients we transport, lol).
- otherwise, another long night with little to no sleep.
Saturday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- another long night... with only half-an-hour of sleep. I should really consider firefighting, lol. That way I can at least get a couple hours of sleep every night shift!!
- 8 calls this night. One was a sore arm from a car accident with some cuts from the airbag. Had a SOB (shortness of breath) call that was resolved when the patient finally calmed down. Had a patient with abdominal pain.
- Got thrust into my first MAJOR trauma without any preparation as we were the second car on scene to a call we didn't receive (so no prior knowledge to what the call was about) and got sent with the crew of the first car and this patient had an unknown amount of knife wounds to his lower back and was bleeding out pretty badly. And even though he was bleeding out really badly, he was still fighting us while we were trying to save his life! lol... but then again, this patient also got pepper-sprayed by the police before medics arrived on scene too.
- One call was for a domestic disturbance where the patient either got slashed by a knife... or slashed herself with a knife, and was not cooperative either so CPS took her as well. Had a call where a VERY elderly patient slipped out of bed and couldn't get back up... so we ended up just checking her vitals and then more of less just lifting her back into bed. Finished the early morning with 2 patients at once (which we technically aren't supposed to do... but we did it because they were both simple enough patients we didn't want to bother anyone else in the early morning after a long night) The first one had drank 23 beers and had 3 lines of cocaine during the night and was complaining of his heart racing and we noticed that he was becoming paranoid. The second one was someone who got beat up and had continuous short-term memory loss which was strange cause he was perfectly fine except for cuts on his face... but then he started thinking we were psychic cause we knew information that he just gave us and we were like... ummm... okay there, lol.
- then went to church after the shift and fell asleep in my car right outside of the church cause I got there early and apparently people were staring at me while I was sleeping... or so I was told... strange.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tour 1
Tuesday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- get there 45 minutes early because my supervisor told me to, just in case shift change happens early, & end up walking in on one night-shift medic sleeping in the medic's room and told to "get the hell out!" :P what a wonderful way to start my practicum, lol
- meet my two preceptors (who are both really nice)
- got ONE call the entire day... what a slow, slow day, lol. My preceptors were happy and I was bored. :P The call was pretty much just a transport case... nothing to do for the patient as it wasn't even an emergency but her nurse (in the group home) wanted her to go to the hospital...
- So, we went shopping for landscaping stuff instead, lol... shopping while on shift as a medic... never thought that was possible, lol
My Rig: Medic 23!
Wednesday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- on pace for one call per shift again until 3 hours before shift ends... and then end up with 3 in the day and having to work an hour overtime. Would be nice if I got paid overtime... actually, it would probably be nice if I got paid at all!! lol. My preceptors start saying I'm good luck cause they've had 2 very nice and relaxing days now, lol. One pulmonary edema (fluid in lungs), one hip injury and one SOB (shortness of breath).
- was at RGH and was invited to watch a doc take out eyeballs... lol... that was pretty sweet. The patient was complaining of chest pain and they took out his eyeballs! No, actually... it was an organ donor. But that was pretty sweet, lol. The optic nerve is a LOT bigger then I thought it would be!!
Medic 23!
Thursday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- quicker start to the shift... 2 calls right after one another... the first one had CPS (Calgary police service) on scene, lol, for an abdominal pain and the other was a pediatric one where a 2 year old had burnt himself with hot tea... very sad to see...
- 6 hours into my shift and it's close to midnight... and I realize that I still have another 8 hours before my shift even ENDS! sigh... it's going to be a LONG LONG night!
- 3 more calls the rest of the night... so I get about 2 hours of nap time.
- 1 of them was just some dude that was intoxicated which the police took care of. Another one was a patient with cerebral palsy that had a fall and possibly dislocated her knee. The last one was a very strange one: Some guy was assaulted at his home and knocked out in Edmonton and woke up in a Calgary park... very strange indeed!
- I get to hear about some strange homicide/suicide calls that other medics had... including the one in the Hamptons... basically 100 feet from my backyard... and another call that is too strange for me to even try to write out! lol
The cabin of Medic 23! Where the action takes place! :P
Friday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- slower start to this shift... a couple calls that required us (as medics) to sit by at building fires incase there are people that require treatment... and when I mean building fires... I mean... somebody smelled something strange and called fire...
- 5 calls tonight + 2 building fires and 3 canceled calls.
- 1 call was someone being investigated by Calgary police that was trying to use medical 'illnesses' to get out of being arrested. 1 call was a schizo patient who was having times of paranoia. Another call was a fall that really didn't even need to be called in. We had an extremely intoxicated patient that fell face first into the ground that required hospitalization. And finally a rollover on Deerfoot with spinal injuries.
- Overall, only about an hour of nap time this shift. The firefighters in my hall got yet another night where they got to sleep pretty much the entire night... again... maybe I should go into firefighting instead!
- So, a relatively simple first tour. Nothing too hard or drastic. But I do need to get out of my 'in-class scenario' type mentality... cause the way they teach you in class over and over again until it's drilled into your head is NOT the way you do it in real life in most cases, lol. So, I need to work on my confidence in switching things up depending on the situation and the patient better for next tour.
- A classmate of mine had a terrible first tour... 3 codes (clinically dead - unconscious, unresponsive, not breathing, no pulse) in 3 days. Including an 8 month old kid that did not survive... Man... that's got to be insane! I'm glad I didn't have to be on that call! That would be INSANE!
Station 23: Fire and EMS! Pump 23, Medic 23, Medic 223 and Medic 323
- get there 45 minutes early because my supervisor told me to, just in case shift change happens early, & end up walking in on one night-shift medic sleeping in the medic's room and told to "get the hell out!" :P what a wonderful way to start my practicum, lol
- meet my two preceptors (who are both really nice)
- got ONE call the entire day... what a slow, slow day, lol. My preceptors were happy and I was bored. :P The call was pretty much just a transport case... nothing to do for the patient as it wasn't even an emergency but her nurse (in the group home) wanted her to go to the hospital...
- So, we went shopping for landscaping stuff instead, lol... shopping while on shift as a medic... never thought that was possible, lol
My Rig: Medic 23!
Wednesday Day Shift (0730-1730):
- on pace for one call per shift again until 3 hours before shift ends... and then end up with 3 in the day and having to work an hour overtime. Would be nice if I got paid overtime... actually, it would probably be nice if I got paid at all!! lol. My preceptors start saying I'm good luck cause they've had 2 very nice and relaxing days now, lol. One pulmonary edema (fluid in lungs), one hip injury and one SOB (shortness of breath).
- was at RGH and was invited to watch a doc take out eyeballs... lol... that was pretty sweet. The patient was complaining of chest pain and they took out his eyeballs! No, actually... it was an organ donor. But that was pretty sweet, lol. The optic nerve is a LOT bigger then I thought it would be!!
Medic 23!
Thursday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- quicker start to the shift... 2 calls right after one another... the first one had CPS (Calgary police service) on scene, lol, for an abdominal pain and the other was a pediatric one where a 2 year old had burnt himself with hot tea... very sad to see...
- 6 hours into my shift and it's close to midnight... and I realize that I still have another 8 hours before my shift even ENDS! sigh... it's going to be a LONG LONG night!
- 3 more calls the rest of the night... so I get about 2 hours of nap time.
- 1 of them was just some dude that was intoxicated which the police took care of. Another one was a patient with cerebral palsy that had a fall and possibly dislocated her knee. The last one was a very strange one: Some guy was assaulted at his home and knocked out in Edmonton and woke up in a Calgary park... very strange indeed!
- I get to hear about some strange homicide/suicide calls that other medics had... including the one in the Hamptons... basically 100 feet from my backyard... and another call that is too strange for me to even try to write out! lol
The cabin of Medic 23! Where the action takes place! :P
Friday Night Shift (1730-0730):
- slower start to this shift... a couple calls that required us (as medics) to sit by at building fires incase there are people that require treatment... and when I mean building fires... I mean... somebody smelled something strange and called fire...
- 5 calls tonight + 2 building fires and 3 canceled calls.
- 1 call was someone being investigated by Calgary police that was trying to use medical 'illnesses' to get out of being arrested. 1 call was a schizo patient who was having times of paranoia. Another call was a fall that really didn't even need to be called in. We had an extremely intoxicated patient that fell face first into the ground that required hospitalization. And finally a rollover on Deerfoot with spinal injuries.
- Overall, only about an hour of nap time this shift. The firefighters in my hall got yet another night where they got to sleep pretty much the entire night... again... maybe I should go into firefighting instead!
- So, a relatively simple first tour. Nothing too hard or drastic. But I do need to get out of my 'in-class scenario' type mentality... cause the way they teach you in class over and over again until it's drilled into your head is NOT the way you do it in real life in most cases, lol. So, I need to work on my confidence in switching things up depending on the situation and the patient better for next tour.
- A classmate of mine had a terrible first tour... 3 codes (clinically dead - unconscious, unresponsive, not breathing, no pulse) in 3 days. Including an 8 month old kid that did not survive... Man... that's got to be insane! I'm glad I didn't have to be on that call! That would be INSANE!
Station 23: Fire and EMS! Pump 23, Medic 23, Medic 223 and Medic 323
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Summertime... is supposed to be relaxing...
So, I finished my CPR instructor course today... so far so good. I passed all the training aspects of the class and I have all the resources I need to teach. But, all I need to do now is to teach a class while being monitored by an experienced instructor in order to become fully registered as a CPR instructor. But, I probably won't be teaching a course till July at the earliest cause of my busy busy June. But I will have to start looking over all the planning required to teach so that I become really knowledgable about my subject so that it will be easier to plan and teach a CPR course!
Tuesday... I start my Ambulance Practicum. Extremely nervous... really scared. But, it should be all good. Just need to get the first few shifts out of the way and then I'll probably wish my practicum never ends! :P I'm really hoping my preceptors are good and nice though... every year... at least 5 people get preceptors that are just horrible, so... here's hoping I get good ones! But because of the shift that I'm on... I'll be missing quite a bit of church in the month of June. But oh well... might as well get used to it!
Next Monday... not tomorrow... I start my job at the Childrens Hospital! lol. 48 hours per week on my practicum, and for the first 2 weeks of June... 16 and 24 hours each week at the Childrens as well. :P Going to be so tired... but it should be really good. I need to get busy again. I've been so unmotivated since... since... forever!
I've started passing the torch over to Tanya to lead VBS now that I've got them started in the right direction, and so far... I have not been disappointed. They all seem to be stepping up and slowly getting things done. They are all learning and a BIT more willingness to learn would be nice, hehe... but they're learning. Hopefully, now that I've found additional mentors for each one of them... they should be able to gain additional experience and ideas from them and incase they can't find me during June, they'll at least have people to help them through it all! So, thank God that all seems to be fitting together right now! Now, to hope I start sleeping WELL again and that I will have enough energy and strength to make it through June (at the very least... won't even worry about July and August yet!).
Time to go and make a difference! :P Through saving lives... teaching others how to save lives... and training the youth to become future leaders!! All without killing myself in the progress! Fun Fun!!
Tuesday... I start my Ambulance Practicum. Extremely nervous... really scared. But, it should be all good. Just need to get the first few shifts out of the way and then I'll probably wish my practicum never ends! :P I'm really hoping my preceptors are good and nice though... every year... at least 5 people get preceptors that are just horrible, so... here's hoping I get good ones! But because of the shift that I'm on... I'll be missing quite a bit of church in the month of June. But oh well... might as well get used to it!
Next Monday... not tomorrow... I start my job at the Childrens Hospital! lol. 48 hours per week on my practicum, and for the first 2 weeks of June... 16 and 24 hours each week at the Childrens as well. :P Going to be so tired... but it should be really good. I need to get busy again. I've been so unmotivated since... since... forever!
I've started passing the torch over to Tanya to lead VBS now that I've got them started in the right direction, and so far... I have not been disappointed. They all seem to be stepping up and slowly getting things done. They are all learning and a BIT more willingness to learn would be nice, hehe... but they're learning. Hopefully, now that I've found additional mentors for each one of them... they should be able to gain additional experience and ideas from them and incase they can't find me during June, they'll at least have people to help them through it all! So, thank God that all seems to be fitting together right now! Now, to hope I start sleeping WELL again and that I will have enough energy and strength to make it through June (at the very least... won't even worry about July and August yet!).
Time to go and make a difference! :P Through saving lives... teaching others how to save lives... and training the youth to become future leaders!! All without killing myself in the progress! Fun Fun!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
SENSational!
The Ottawa Senators are now ONE game away from SWEEPING the Buffalo Sabres and advancing to the Stanley Cup Final! SENSational!
I picked up my CPR instructor course materials today and it's a HUGE thick binder... a lot more then I expected for just teaching CPR. Oh well... I have a week and a half to finish studying it in time for my class. Should be good.
I also picked up my EMT Practicum placement today... and I'm down in the SE at Station 23! So, my day shifts will be 10 hours, 7:30am - 5:30pm. And my night shifts will be 14 hours, 5:30pm - 7:30am. But it is a 24-hour car and apparently in an area that gets a lot of calls (I'm right by Deerfoot and close enough to help support calls from Downtown!) Should be great!
I also got an interview today at the Childrens Hospital and ended up getting a job as well, lol. What an awesome day! I got a casual based job, which was what I was looking for... AND they took my availbility list that I made to work VBS into consideration as well. So, I should now be able to work both at the Childrens and STILL be at VBS for majority of the time to help observe and train the leaders! I'll be working mostly as a porter, but I'll be flexed over to Food Services as well to get more hours! Should be awesome!!
What a sensational day! PTL!!
I picked up my CPR instructor course materials today and it's a HUGE thick binder... a lot more then I expected for just teaching CPR. Oh well... I have a week and a half to finish studying it in time for my class. Should be good.
I also picked up my EMT Practicum placement today... and I'm down in the SE at Station 23! So, my day shifts will be 10 hours, 7:30am - 5:30pm. And my night shifts will be 14 hours, 5:30pm - 7:30am. But it is a 24-hour car and apparently in an area that gets a lot of calls (I'm right by Deerfoot and close enough to help support calls from Downtown!) Should be great!
I also got an interview today at the Childrens Hospital and ended up getting a job as well, lol. What an awesome day! I got a casual based job, which was what I was looking for... AND they took my availbility list that I made to work VBS into consideration as well. So, I should now be able to work both at the Childrens and STILL be at VBS for majority of the time to help observe and train the leaders! I'll be working mostly as a porter, but I'll be flexed over to Food Services as well to get more hours! Should be awesome!!
What a sensational day! PTL!!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Shark Fin Soup
Well, the 2nd round of the NHL playoffs are over and one of the teams that I chose to make it to the finals is OUT! San Jose lost to Detroit. But at least my other team is still in and going strong... go OTTAWA!
Ottawa over Buffalo. I believe Ottawa won the season series against Buffalo this year, and Ottawa seems to be stronger team in the playoffs right now as well. Though... Saprykin winning the cup would be a sad sad thing, lol.
Anahiem and Detroit. I don't know who to cheer for. I don't like either team that much. I don't hate either team either. I think I'm leaning more towards Anahiem in this one...
Update on my life: not much. lol
Still waiting for my ambulance practicum to start. It starts May 29th. So... I have a month to wait around and review things and slowly get hyped up about it. :P
I will be dropping off my application form for a CPR instructor course on Thursday. That class will be May 25-27th. So, that allows me to have a very flexible and casual based job on the side for... probably the rest of my life as long as I teach 2 classes a YEAR! lol.
I'm still applying for a position at the Alberta Childrens Hospital as a porter. My mom dropped off my cover letter and resume there today on her way to work. I also printed off an availability sheet during the summer should I get an interview. And hopefully everything works out. My availbility sheet has me open for 6 shifts at the hospital a week and still lets me moniter VBS as closely as possible as well! So, lets hope it all works out!
And sound... positive thing... both Sarah Ng and Ada have shown GREAT interest in learning and are VERY VERY dedicated to learning. So, I think by summer time... I'll no longer have to do sound on a Friday night ever again! Negative thing... it's going to be a LONG time before any of them (including Calvin) will be ready to set up sound for camp, lol... which means... I'll have to do it again... and that means going up early and coming back early... missing the bus rides... missing all that fellowship again. So many years of going up early and coming back early wears on you... lol. But I'll probably end up doing it...
Ottawa over Buffalo. I believe Ottawa won the season series against Buffalo this year, and Ottawa seems to be stronger team in the playoffs right now as well. Though... Saprykin winning the cup would be a sad sad thing, lol.
Anahiem and Detroit. I don't know who to cheer for. I don't like either team that much. I don't hate either team either. I think I'm leaning more towards Anahiem in this one...
Update on my life: not much. lol
Still waiting for my ambulance practicum to start. It starts May 29th. So... I have a month to wait around and review things and slowly get hyped up about it. :P
I will be dropping off my application form for a CPR instructor course on Thursday. That class will be May 25-27th. So, that allows me to have a very flexible and casual based job on the side for... probably the rest of my life as long as I teach 2 classes a YEAR! lol.
I'm still applying for a position at the Alberta Childrens Hospital as a porter. My mom dropped off my cover letter and resume there today on her way to work. I also printed off an availability sheet during the summer should I get an interview. And hopefully everything works out. My availbility sheet has me open for 6 shifts at the hospital a week and still lets me moniter VBS as closely as possible as well! So, lets hope it all works out!
And sound... positive thing... both Sarah Ng and Ada have shown GREAT interest in learning and are VERY VERY dedicated to learning. So, I think by summer time... I'll no longer have to do sound on a Friday night ever again! Negative thing... it's going to be a LONG time before any of them (including Calvin) will be ready to set up sound for camp, lol... which means... I'll have to do it again... and that means going up early and coming back early... missing the bus rides... missing all that fellowship again. So many years of going up early and coming back early wears on you... lol. But I'll probably end up doing it...
Monday, April 23, 2007
Flame Out
Playoff Picks
Well... the two teams that I picked for my 'unrealistic' picks are both out in the first round, lol. Those two teams being... the Calgary Flames and the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Flames was the natural pick and the Penguins, because they are a young and exciting team to watch... and it would have been pretty cool to see them win it all. :P But unfortunately, they both failed to get pass the first round, lol.
However, the two teams that I picked for my 'realistic' picks are both still in the running for the cup this year. Those two teams being... the San Jose Sharks and the Ottawa Senators. San Jose was the team that I picked at the beginning of the season, so I'm going to stick with them.
Calgary Flames
Anyways, back to the Flames. Disappointing season for the Flames. On paper, this is probably the most skilled and promising team we've had since the early 90's. And yet, this team rarely ever played like a team... perhaps it is poor chemistry in the locker room? perhaps it has to do with the coaching staff? I tend to blame the coaching staff more than on locker-room chemistry. The reason being... we were the best team on home ice... so chemistry isn't lacking... motivation is what's lacking.
A strong theory is that the Flames did so well at home this season because the FANS were the motivation... not the coaches. And on the road, we were pathetic... because of the lack of motivation... which the coaches should be preparing the players for... but regardless... changes are going to happen... whether or not Sutter remains loyal to his coaching staff or not is... well... all hypothetical until the start of next season.
Possible changes upcoming...
Goaltending:
Kiprusoff will be back. Guaranteed, lol. This team is nothing without him (as seen in the playoffs).
Mclennan... will most likely NOT be back. With both Brent Krahn and Curtis McElhinney doing extremely well in the minors, I believe one of them should become the backup for next season. Also, Matt Keetly (of the Medicine Hat Tigers) is in his final year as a junior and will be going pro next season and will need a spot in Omaha.
Defence:
Dion Phaneuf, Robyn Regehr, Rhett Warrener, Andrei Zyuzin are all signed for next season. I don't see any trades happening here unless Sutter wants to shake up the roster in a drastic way. Phaneuf is safe. Zyuzin... isn't worth much in the trade market, unfortunately, lol.
Mark Giordano, Richie Regehr and David Hale are all RFA's and I believe all 3 will be resigned for next season. We have limited defenceman in our system, so I think we should keep all 3 because if we run into injuries, we're hooped.
Roman Hamrlik and Brad Stuart are the only UFA's on defence this season. I can see Stuart getting Hamrlik's salary and Hamrlik being let go. Hamrlik was a decent defenceman, but was inconsistent and took stupid penalties and never could step up his game in the playoffs. Stuart continued to improve since he became a Flame and stepped up his game in the playoffs (probably became the best Flames dman during the playoffs).
Forwards:
Iginla, Tanguay, Langkow, Huselius, Conroy, Yelle are all signed for next season. They should all be back next season as well, unless Sutter decides to really shake up the roster with a big trade. Noone is 'safe' if Sutter does decide to do so. Yelle would be the closest to being safe.
Nilson and Lombardi are RFA's and I can see both of them being resigned.
Lombardi showed great improvement this year, though was still quite inconsistent. And Nilson did not perform to standards during the regular season (probably because of his injury earlier in the season) but showed up for the playoffs and is a Sutter player and highly durable and plays all 3 forwards positions, so I can see him coming back.
Amonte, Friesen, Godard, McCarty, Ritchie, Primeau are the UFAs.
Amonte and Friesen could easily be back if they decide to sign for MUCH less than they were paid this season. I wouldn't mind having Friesen back for cheaper because he was great on a line with Yelle and Nilson and was great defensively for us. However, Amonte... his uses are highly limited now. Can't score and is sometimes a liability on defence as well. So, I'm hoping Amonte is not back.
Primeau is probably a good bet to coming back. Dependable and can play all 3 forward positions, is big and defensively sound and probably won't be expensive either.
Ritchie... may be back because he is cheap and versatile as he can also play all 3 forward positions. But he is also limited in what he can do because of size and strength.
Godard may or may not be back... his uses are limited to... fighting only and if we do keep him, it would be for real cheap and he'll be a call-up from the minors like this season.
McCarty, will probably not be back.
In the System:
Omaha were the winners of the West Divion Title and the Western Conference Title this season in the AHL. Currently tied 1-1 in the first round series against Iowa.
Las Vegas was the top team in the ECHL this season (eg. presidents trophy if they were in the NHL). Currently they are up 1-0 in the second round of playoffs.
Goaltending:
Curtis McElhinney was named to the second AHL all-star team. Brent Krahn was injured for parts of the season, but is still within top 10 in goaltending statistics. Both have been in the top-10 in AHL goaltending statistics for the past 2 seasons. Both are probably ready to become a backup goaltender for Kiprusoff and should be capable of playing more games than McLennan ever could.
Matt Keetly (Medicine Hat Tigers in the WHL) finished the season ranked first in wins in the WHL. Keetly is in his last junior year and should be going pro next season and needs a spot in Omaha to develop.
Leland Irvine (Calgary's first round draft pick last year) was ranked first in GAA in the WHL this season. Currently with Omaha for their playoff run. Will be back in Juniors next year.
Defence:
Mark Giordano won the battle to become the 7th defenceman for the flames this season, and at times beat out Zyuzin for the 6th position. Will battle for a roster spot again next season. Richie Regehr was leading the AHL in +/- before being recalled by the Flames this season (and then out for the season with a concussion). Has continued to improve and should be back in the minors next season and will likely be the first to be recalled next season again. David Hale came in via trade this season and will likely fight for a roster spot next season along with Giordano and Zyuzin. We start to thin out in defenceman after that. Tim Ramholt in Omaha would be the next one up, but has not improved well enough to play in the NHL yet.
Forwards:
David Moss graduated from the minors and made the big team this year, but still needs to earn it again during training camp next season. Dustin Boyd was tied for team-lead in points in Omaha and played well with stints in Calgary and will fight for a spot next season as well. Andrei Taratuchin took half-a-season to get a hang of the North American style but became red-hot in the second-half and will challenge for a spot next year as well. Carsen Germyn was tied for team-lead in points with Boyd this season and will likely be a call-up for next season. Eric Nystrom was injured for pretty much the entire season with numerous injuries that limited his games played to less than a dozen all season but if healthy will contend for a spot on the Flames roster next season. David Van-der-Gulik was one of the top defensive forwards in the entire AHL in his rookie season and will need more time to develop in the minors. Daniel Ryder in the OHL was in the top-10 in his final season in the juniors and should be going pro next season as well. Not ready for the NHL yet, but like Dustin Boyd should not need too much time in the minors to develop into a NHL calibre player.
Well... the two teams that I picked for my 'unrealistic' picks are both out in the first round, lol. Those two teams being... the Calgary Flames and the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Flames was the natural pick and the Penguins, because they are a young and exciting team to watch... and it would have been pretty cool to see them win it all. :P But unfortunately, they both failed to get pass the first round, lol.
However, the two teams that I picked for my 'realistic' picks are both still in the running for the cup this year. Those two teams being... the San Jose Sharks and the Ottawa Senators. San Jose was the team that I picked at the beginning of the season, so I'm going to stick with them.
Calgary Flames
Anyways, back to the Flames. Disappointing season for the Flames. On paper, this is probably the most skilled and promising team we've had since the early 90's. And yet, this team rarely ever played like a team... perhaps it is poor chemistry in the locker room? perhaps it has to do with the coaching staff? I tend to blame the coaching staff more than on locker-room chemistry. The reason being... we were the best team on home ice... so chemistry isn't lacking... motivation is what's lacking.
A strong theory is that the Flames did so well at home this season because the FANS were the motivation... not the coaches. And on the road, we were pathetic... because of the lack of motivation... which the coaches should be preparing the players for... but regardless... changes are going to happen... whether or not Sutter remains loyal to his coaching staff or not is... well... all hypothetical until the start of next season.
Possible changes upcoming...
Goaltending:
Kiprusoff will be back. Guaranteed, lol. This team is nothing without him (as seen in the playoffs).
Mclennan... will most likely NOT be back. With both Brent Krahn and Curtis McElhinney doing extremely well in the minors, I believe one of them should become the backup for next season. Also, Matt Keetly (of the Medicine Hat Tigers) is in his final year as a junior and will be going pro next season and will need a spot in Omaha.
Defence:
Dion Phaneuf, Robyn Regehr, Rhett Warrener, Andrei Zyuzin are all signed for next season. I don't see any trades happening here unless Sutter wants to shake up the roster in a drastic way. Phaneuf is safe. Zyuzin... isn't worth much in the trade market, unfortunately, lol.
Mark Giordano, Richie Regehr and David Hale are all RFA's and I believe all 3 will be resigned for next season. We have limited defenceman in our system, so I think we should keep all 3 because if we run into injuries, we're hooped.
Roman Hamrlik and Brad Stuart are the only UFA's on defence this season. I can see Stuart getting Hamrlik's salary and Hamrlik being let go. Hamrlik was a decent defenceman, but was inconsistent and took stupid penalties and never could step up his game in the playoffs. Stuart continued to improve since he became a Flame and stepped up his game in the playoffs (probably became the best Flames dman during the playoffs).
Forwards:
Iginla, Tanguay, Langkow, Huselius, Conroy, Yelle are all signed for next season. They should all be back next season as well, unless Sutter decides to really shake up the roster with a big trade. Noone is 'safe' if Sutter does decide to do so. Yelle would be the closest to being safe.
Nilson and Lombardi are RFA's and I can see both of them being resigned.
Lombardi showed great improvement this year, though was still quite inconsistent. And Nilson did not perform to standards during the regular season (probably because of his injury earlier in the season) but showed up for the playoffs and is a Sutter player and highly durable and plays all 3 forwards positions, so I can see him coming back.
Amonte, Friesen, Godard, McCarty, Ritchie, Primeau are the UFAs.
Amonte and Friesen could easily be back if they decide to sign for MUCH less than they were paid this season. I wouldn't mind having Friesen back for cheaper because he was great on a line with Yelle and Nilson and was great defensively for us. However, Amonte... his uses are highly limited now. Can't score and is sometimes a liability on defence as well. So, I'm hoping Amonte is not back.
Primeau is probably a good bet to coming back. Dependable and can play all 3 forward positions, is big and defensively sound and probably won't be expensive either.
Ritchie... may be back because he is cheap and versatile as he can also play all 3 forward positions. But he is also limited in what he can do because of size and strength.
Godard may or may not be back... his uses are limited to... fighting only and if we do keep him, it would be for real cheap and he'll be a call-up from the minors like this season.
McCarty, will probably not be back.
In the System:
Omaha were the winners of the West Divion Title and the Western Conference Title this season in the AHL. Currently tied 1-1 in the first round series against Iowa.
Las Vegas was the top team in the ECHL this season (eg. presidents trophy if they were in the NHL). Currently they are up 1-0 in the second round of playoffs.
Goaltending:
Curtis McElhinney was named to the second AHL all-star team. Brent Krahn was injured for parts of the season, but is still within top 10 in goaltending statistics. Both have been in the top-10 in AHL goaltending statistics for the past 2 seasons. Both are probably ready to become a backup goaltender for Kiprusoff and should be capable of playing more games than McLennan ever could.
Matt Keetly (Medicine Hat Tigers in the WHL) finished the season ranked first in wins in the WHL. Keetly is in his last junior year and should be going pro next season and needs a spot in Omaha to develop.
Leland Irvine (Calgary's first round draft pick last year) was ranked first in GAA in the WHL this season. Currently with Omaha for their playoff run. Will be back in Juniors next year.
Defence:
Mark Giordano won the battle to become the 7th defenceman for the flames this season, and at times beat out Zyuzin for the 6th position. Will battle for a roster spot again next season. Richie Regehr was leading the AHL in +/- before being recalled by the Flames this season (and then out for the season with a concussion). Has continued to improve and should be back in the minors next season and will likely be the first to be recalled next season again. David Hale came in via trade this season and will likely fight for a roster spot next season along with Giordano and Zyuzin. We start to thin out in defenceman after that. Tim Ramholt in Omaha would be the next one up, but has not improved well enough to play in the NHL yet.
Forwards:
David Moss graduated from the minors and made the big team this year, but still needs to earn it again during training camp next season. Dustin Boyd was tied for team-lead in points in Omaha and played well with stints in Calgary and will fight for a spot next season as well. Andrei Taratuchin took half-a-season to get a hang of the North American style but became red-hot in the second-half and will challenge for a spot next year as well. Carsen Germyn was tied for team-lead in points with Boyd this season and will likely be a call-up for next season. Eric Nystrom was injured for pretty much the entire season with numerous injuries that limited his games played to less than a dozen all season but if healthy will contend for a spot on the Flames roster next season. David Van-der-Gulik was one of the top defensive forwards in the entire AHL in his rookie season and will need more time to develop in the minors. Daniel Ryder in the OHL was in the top-10 in his final season in the juniors and should be going pro next season as well. Not ready for the NHL yet, but like Dustin Boyd should not need too much time in the minors to develop into a NHL calibre player.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Shawshank Redemption
So, I finally watched this movie, and it was great. Not only was it a good movie, but the message is what I needed right now. Hope. Don't ever let go... always have hope.
"Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
So, I hope.
I won't let the stress of this world take me down. I won't give up simply because things are not working out. I won't allow what others think or say to stop me from doing what's right.
I will continue on with VBS. I will continue with training these youth (even if it makes my hair go gray by the time they understand). I will continue doing what's right (even if they hate me for it). I will come out of these times stronger than before. I will come out wiser than before. Because I have hope.
Now, to hope I don't lose anymore sleep over this.
"Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
So, I hope.
I won't let the stress of this world take me down. I won't give up simply because things are not working out. I won't allow what others think or say to stop me from doing what's right.
I will continue on with VBS. I will continue with training these youth (even if it makes my hair go gray by the time they understand). I will continue doing what's right (even if they hate me for it). I will come out of these times stronger than before. I will come out wiser than before. Because I have hope.
Now, to hope I don't lose anymore sleep over this.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Thursday, March 29, 2007
HIGHLY GRAPHIC! Look at your own RISK!
Okay...
This
Is
Highly
Graphic!!!
This
Is
Your
Last
Warning!!!
Who says that Smart Cars are safe? DRUVE SAFELY EVERYONE!
This
Is
Highly
Graphic!!!
This
Is
Your
Last
Warning!!!
Who says that Smart Cars are safe? DRUVE SAFELY EVERYONE!
Monday, March 19, 2007
Final Lab Exam
So, last semesters final lab exam went from 0800 to 1830. And considering that we've gone through another semester and have more difficult scenarios to be tested on... we actually finished by 0430 today. So happy, cause long exam days are so stressful. And best of all, I passed all my skills today and all my scenarios, so I don't have to retest on anything! YES!!
Now, to finish some writing assignments and finish my final accumlative written exam and I'm set to go on my Ambulance Practicum! And if I finish all the stated above by Friday... I should be on my ambulance practicum by 2nd week of April! And I believe my Ambulance practicum will be roughly 5 weeks long. Okay folks, that's ALL!
Oh, and I kept waking up last night from dreaming about my exam today, lol. It was creepy, but I kept on waking up thinking I failed!! But yeah, that was all... too bad I had to leave the Newbs party early though. Okay... that's ALL!
Now, to finish some writing assignments and finish my final accumlative written exam and I'm set to go on my Ambulance Practicum! And if I finish all the stated above by Friday... I should be on my ambulance practicum by 2nd week of April! And I believe my Ambulance practicum will be roughly 5 weeks long. Okay folks, that's ALL!
Oh, and I kept waking up last night from dreaming about my exam today, lol. It was creepy, but I kept on waking up thinking I failed!! But yeah, that was all... too bad I had to leave the Newbs party early though. Okay... that's ALL!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Clinical Practicum
Done and done. 5 straight days of 0630-1430 shifts is finally over! No more need to wake up at 0430 and roll out of bed by 0500!! It's funny how I've been slowly getting more tired as the days went on, but I've also been sleeping better than my usual, lol. I'm waking up less in the night and falling asleep quicker. Hopefully, I can keep this up and finally correct my poor sleeping patterns!
The week was fun... and the shifts were actually quite interesting and productive for the most part. I was working at the Rockyview Hospital Day Surgery helping admit patients to the OR and keeping an eye on patients in recovery after their surgeries. So, mostly, I took vital signs, asked about allergies, medications and past medical histories and started IVs and helped the nurses wherever I could. It was quite neat. Talking to the patients before and after surgeries, helping them get prepared for their surgeries or just chatting with them was great. All the nurses were nice and very helpful.
And I did about 30 IVs over the week so I think I'm over the fear of giving IVs now, lol. My technique was good (so I was told) but then again, this is a controlled environment where we have the luxury of equipment and time to find a nice vein to start an IV on. So, if I have good veins, then I can get a good IV start (95% guaranteed... some people have veins that just collapse or a valve might be in the location where we start the IV). However, I've been having difficulties seeing veins that are 'hidden'. Apparently, you're supposed to be able to see a hint of blue where the veins are under the skin... but I can't see it cause of my color deficiency... so... I need to train myself to see what others can see easily.
Next up: Final Exams... so practice, practice, practice tomorrow... Newberrys are here on Sunday, so I guess I'll just relax on Sunday so that I'll be mentally alert and ready on Monday. And after that... Ambulance Driving Course and the Ambulance Practicum.
The week was fun... and the shifts were actually quite interesting and productive for the most part. I was working at the Rockyview Hospital Day Surgery helping admit patients to the OR and keeping an eye on patients in recovery after their surgeries. So, mostly, I took vital signs, asked about allergies, medications and past medical histories and started IVs and helped the nurses wherever I could. It was quite neat. Talking to the patients before and after surgeries, helping them get prepared for their surgeries or just chatting with them was great. All the nurses were nice and very helpful.
And I did about 30 IVs over the week so I think I'm over the fear of giving IVs now, lol. My technique was good (so I was told) but then again, this is a controlled environment where we have the luxury of equipment and time to find a nice vein to start an IV on. So, if I have good veins, then I can get a good IV start (95% guaranteed... some people have veins that just collapse or a valve might be in the location where we start the IV). However, I've been having difficulties seeing veins that are 'hidden'. Apparently, you're supposed to be able to see a hint of blue where the veins are under the skin... but I can't see it cause of my color deficiency... so... I need to train myself to see what others can see easily.
Next up: Final Exams... so practice, practice, practice tomorrow... Newberrys are here on Sunday, so I guess I'll just relax on Sunday so that I'll be mentally alert and ready on Monday. And after that... Ambulance Driving Course and the Ambulance Practicum.
Friday, March 09, 2007
OR Practicum
So, I finally had my OR Practicum today (as it was cancelled last time because there wasn't any surgeries that were applicable to my training). But now I'm so tired. I woke up at 5... so I could leave the house by 6... to make sure I got to the High River Hospital before 7:30. My feet are so sore and tired as I stood for basically 9 hours straight with perhaps 10-15 minutes of sitting down throughout that entire 9 hours. Mentally, I'm actually awake... but physically drained. As getting up early in the mornings is just something I can't do, lol. And the standing for 9 hours straight hurts. I also didn't get to eat lunch till 4:30... so, I was getting weak by the end of the day.
My purpose in the OR was to practice maintaining a patients airway when they are unconscious (or in this training case: highly sedated). And the thing with that is... it only takes about 5 minutes or so of each individual surgery for me to do as you end up hooking the patient up to a automatic respirator. The rest of the time during the surgeries... I just stand someplace trying to not get in the way and watch the docs do their magic. It probably made for a longer day as there were 2 med students there getting their training in the surgeries as well. But it was interesting... we had 8 surgeries total today for about 9 hours. The first one... was over in like 10 minutes... it was that quick. I don't even really know what the surgery was about... I just know it had to do with gynecology, lol (luckily... I stand at the head of the patient... on the complete opposite side so I don't have to see what they were actually doing). 5 of the other surgeries were to remove hernias... so they weren't overly exciting... just some incisions and some burning away of skin/fat/mucous lining, etc...
The last 2 were the interesting ones. They were also the longest ones, so my feet hurt like crazy trying to stand in one place for an hour without moving around too much. But they were surgeries to remove the gallbladder. It was like watching TLC up-close-and-personal. They had the monitors and tvs up with the camera-view of inside the patients abdomen. And after they cut the gallbladder away from all the surrounding tissue and organs... they actually inserted a bag into the patients abdomen and stuffed the gallbladder into this bag. They then pulled the bag out through one of the small holes that they had cut into the patients abdomen... pretty interesting things to watch. :P
Anyways... Clinical Practicum at Rockyview Monday to Friday of next week... which is going to interesting... exciting... scary... and crappy all together. Crappy because I have to wake up at 4-430 every morning. AND the fact that my final lab/scenario exam is the monday after... so I come home from my shifts next week to study... going to be EXHAUSTED!
My purpose in the OR was to practice maintaining a patients airway when they are unconscious (or in this training case: highly sedated). And the thing with that is... it only takes about 5 minutes or so of each individual surgery for me to do as you end up hooking the patient up to a automatic respirator. The rest of the time during the surgeries... I just stand someplace trying to not get in the way and watch the docs do their magic. It probably made for a longer day as there were 2 med students there getting their training in the surgeries as well. But it was interesting... we had 8 surgeries total today for about 9 hours. The first one... was over in like 10 minutes... it was that quick. I don't even really know what the surgery was about... I just know it had to do with gynecology, lol (luckily... I stand at the head of the patient... on the complete opposite side so I don't have to see what they were actually doing). 5 of the other surgeries were to remove hernias... so they weren't overly exciting... just some incisions and some burning away of skin/fat/mucous lining, etc...
The last 2 were the interesting ones. They were also the longest ones, so my feet hurt like crazy trying to stand in one place for an hour without moving around too much. But they were surgeries to remove the gallbladder. It was like watching TLC up-close-and-personal. They had the monitors and tvs up with the camera-view of inside the patients abdomen. And after they cut the gallbladder away from all the surrounding tissue and organs... they actually inserted a bag into the patients abdomen and stuffed the gallbladder into this bag. They then pulled the bag out through one of the small holes that they had cut into the patients abdomen... pretty interesting things to watch. :P
Anyways... Clinical Practicum at Rockyview Monday to Friday of next week... which is going to interesting... exciting... scary... and crappy all together. Crappy because I have to wake up at 4-430 every morning. AND the fact that my final lab/scenario exam is the monday after... so I come home from my shifts next week to study... going to be EXHAUSTED!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Baggage
WARNING: LONG BLOG
Today at church was... interesting. Good, and something the church needed... something we all needed. Testimony time was great but the worship and prayer at the end seemed to clinch it, at least for me.
But the one thing I found out today is that I'm holding a lot more baggage than I realize or care to admit to. Baggage that has been getting heavier and heavier over the years while I've been pushing it away from consciousness. During worship, I found myself thinking about my time at UofA again... something that happens quite often since I've come back. Usually those thoughts are centered around me being a failure, Failure, FAILURE and usually come up when I'm trying to study, practice, or succeed at doing something in my life. But today, it was different... I think God was showing me something that either I've chosen to ignore, or that I've never realized before.
I mean, sure, I didn't do well academically (exept perhaps in 2nd year when I got myself off of academic probation) but does that mean I'm a failure? Perhaps in my own eyes and definately in others eyes, I am. To me, I've always figured that with how I ended up at UofA... it HAD to be God guiding me there for a reason (and I believed it then and I still believe it). During my time there I talked to some people at GGCA and I always brought up the fact that I could never seem to find out my reason for being there... that I didn't feel like I was accomlishing what God wanted me to do there. I felt lost, I felt useless... And then when I started to do poorly in Academics... it felt like I was standing on the road of life watching as a steamroller rolled over me. And I died there... became flat... listless. And to this day... that is who I've been... that has been my life. A flat, listless dead person. Perhaps that is why the song "Dead Man (Carry Me)" by Jars of Clay is the song I start off with pretty much everyday and the chorus is what I sing to myself all the time. (Before this day, I thought I liked this song because I'm going to be a paramedic and that will be a scene I'll likely be seeing on the field... but God showed me today that NO... this song is about YOU)
So, Carry Me
I'm Just A Dead Man
Lying On the Carpet
Can't Find A Heart Beat
Make Me Breath
I Want To Be A New Man
Tired Of The Old One
Out With The Old Plan
What God showed me today was that... the thing with life and the mistakes we as humans make everyday is that... I tried to take control. I KNEW that God sent me up there for a reason... and I ASSUMED that reason would be what I wanted. To be a doctor and that because God helped me make that decision to go to UofA that it would be EASY. But looking back at it and the revelations that God gave me today... my reasons were horrible. Like Darrens testimony today... I had a dream... I had a desire... but it wasn't Gods. I wanted that prestige that being a doctor would give me (so I could go back to school reunions and show to all those who looked down on me that I could succeed), I wanted that wealth, and the reason I've never realized before today... I wanted to beat my sister, who I guess I've been living under her shadow for far too long. If she was going to be a Doctor of Psychology... well, I would be a doctor, doctor.
But when I started to do poorly academically... Instead of looking to God and finding where He wanted me to go. I figured I'll just keep on going on with what I'm doing now and get a degree... any degree because without it... I'd be a total failure. It wasn't until 3rd year University that I started to pray about it... to find what God wanted me to do and where He wanted me to go. And at first, I was scared with the answer that He gave me. He kept on pushing Paramedics onto my heart and I kept on saying "No Way, Lord", are you nuts? It's similar to being a doctor... but I wouldn't be working in a hospital setting with tons of nurses and other doctors to help me and in a controlled environment. I'd be working with one other person out in the cold, rain, snow, sleet, scorching sun in situations that a doctor/nurse would never have to see. I talked to my parents and some friends about it... and the consensus was that I'd be nuts and that this would never work out. But I kept praying and by the end of first semester, I KNEW that I was going to pursue paramedics. I KNEW that was what I was going to do after I finished the next semester coming up (the LAST one ever, and I KNEW it, I ACCEPTED it).
After I accepted my 'fate' and had actually prayed to God to take control and lead me to where He wanted me to be... I felt comforted. I felt safe. Scared for the new task ahead, but at peace. That's when I started going out and talking to the people around me. And I started to change. I was no longer that hugely shy kid that wanted to stay away from everyone becuase of fear, shame or whatnot. I became more confident, more outgoing but less dependent on my friends as I was before I went to UofA. And God showed me today that even though I might not realize it. God DID HAVE A PLAN FOR ME! My time at UofA was NOT a failure (only in my eyes and others eyes because I didn't accomplish MY OWN dreams and desires)... but God changed me in a way that I probably could not have until I finally let go and give Him control.
Strange thing with all this is that... You'd expect me to have realized this immediately upon following His guidance into paramedics and even after all that God has done for me with paramedics and provided me a way to keep moving forward even though it seems like I couldn't, but I didn't. The enemies lies are a powerful weapon. His whispers in my ear told me that sure I changed as a person because of my time at UofA but it doesn't matter one tiny bit because I was still a failure. A failure for life.
And I fell for it. Instead of allowing God to revive my flat, dead person... I allowed the enemies lies to keep me flat and in such a way that I went about life thinking I was fine and this is just who I am. My life has become almost a self-fulfilling prophecy because of this. I kept pushing my studies back... and back... and back... because in my mind... I've already failed, so why bother?
And even now... I've been stuck believing the enemies lies for such a long time that... even with the revelations from God this morning. I KNOW it's going to be a long and hard road before I ever truly get away from these thoughts of failure, from being a flat, dead person. It will be a long time before I stop feeling like I'm living 2 separate lives. But one day... Geo will be alive again... one day.
Today at church was... interesting. Good, and something the church needed... something we all needed. Testimony time was great but the worship and prayer at the end seemed to clinch it, at least for me.
But the one thing I found out today is that I'm holding a lot more baggage than I realize or care to admit to. Baggage that has been getting heavier and heavier over the years while I've been pushing it away from consciousness. During worship, I found myself thinking about my time at UofA again... something that happens quite often since I've come back. Usually those thoughts are centered around me being a failure, Failure, FAILURE and usually come up when I'm trying to study, practice, or succeed at doing something in my life. But today, it was different... I think God was showing me something that either I've chosen to ignore, or that I've never realized before.
I mean, sure, I didn't do well academically (exept perhaps in 2nd year when I got myself off of academic probation) but does that mean I'm a failure? Perhaps in my own eyes and definately in others eyes, I am. To me, I've always figured that with how I ended up at UofA... it HAD to be God guiding me there for a reason (and I believed it then and I still believe it). During my time there I talked to some people at GGCA and I always brought up the fact that I could never seem to find out my reason for being there... that I didn't feel like I was accomlishing what God wanted me to do there. I felt lost, I felt useless... And then when I started to do poorly in Academics... it felt like I was standing on the road of life watching as a steamroller rolled over me. And I died there... became flat... listless. And to this day... that is who I've been... that has been my life. A flat, listless dead person. Perhaps that is why the song "Dead Man (Carry Me)" by Jars of Clay is the song I start off with pretty much everyday and the chorus is what I sing to myself all the time. (Before this day, I thought I liked this song because I'm going to be a paramedic and that will be a scene I'll likely be seeing on the field... but God showed me today that NO... this song is about YOU)
So, Carry Me
I'm Just A Dead Man
Lying On the Carpet
Can't Find A Heart Beat
Make Me Breath
I Want To Be A New Man
Tired Of The Old One
Out With The Old Plan
What God showed me today was that... the thing with life and the mistakes we as humans make everyday is that... I tried to take control. I KNEW that God sent me up there for a reason... and I ASSUMED that reason would be what I wanted. To be a doctor and that because God helped me make that decision to go to UofA that it would be EASY. But looking back at it and the revelations that God gave me today... my reasons were horrible. Like Darrens testimony today... I had a dream... I had a desire... but it wasn't Gods. I wanted that prestige that being a doctor would give me (so I could go back to school reunions and show to all those who looked down on me that I could succeed), I wanted that wealth, and the reason I've never realized before today... I wanted to beat my sister, who I guess I've been living under her shadow for far too long. If she was going to be a Doctor of Psychology... well, I would be a doctor, doctor.
But when I started to do poorly academically... Instead of looking to God and finding where He wanted me to go. I figured I'll just keep on going on with what I'm doing now and get a degree... any degree because without it... I'd be a total failure. It wasn't until 3rd year University that I started to pray about it... to find what God wanted me to do and where He wanted me to go. And at first, I was scared with the answer that He gave me. He kept on pushing Paramedics onto my heart and I kept on saying "No Way, Lord", are you nuts? It's similar to being a doctor... but I wouldn't be working in a hospital setting with tons of nurses and other doctors to help me and in a controlled environment. I'd be working with one other person out in the cold, rain, snow, sleet, scorching sun in situations that a doctor/nurse would never have to see. I talked to my parents and some friends about it... and the consensus was that I'd be nuts and that this would never work out. But I kept praying and by the end of first semester, I KNEW that I was going to pursue paramedics. I KNEW that was what I was going to do after I finished the next semester coming up (the LAST one ever, and I KNEW it, I ACCEPTED it).
After I accepted my 'fate' and had actually prayed to God to take control and lead me to where He wanted me to be... I felt comforted. I felt safe. Scared for the new task ahead, but at peace. That's when I started going out and talking to the people around me. And I started to change. I was no longer that hugely shy kid that wanted to stay away from everyone becuase of fear, shame or whatnot. I became more confident, more outgoing but less dependent on my friends as I was before I went to UofA. And God showed me today that even though I might not realize it. God DID HAVE A PLAN FOR ME! My time at UofA was NOT a failure (only in my eyes and others eyes because I didn't accomplish MY OWN dreams and desires)... but God changed me in a way that I probably could not have until I finally let go and give Him control.
Strange thing with all this is that... You'd expect me to have realized this immediately upon following His guidance into paramedics and even after all that God has done for me with paramedics and provided me a way to keep moving forward even though it seems like I couldn't, but I didn't. The enemies lies are a powerful weapon. His whispers in my ear told me that sure I changed as a person because of my time at UofA but it doesn't matter one tiny bit because I was still a failure. A failure for life.
And I fell for it. Instead of allowing God to revive my flat, dead person... I allowed the enemies lies to keep me flat and in such a way that I went about life thinking I was fine and this is just who I am. My life has become almost a self-fulfilling prophecy because of this. I kept pushing my studies back... and back... and back... because in my mind... I've already failed, so why bother?
And even now... I've been stuck believing the enemies lies for such a long time that... even with the revelations from God this morning. I KNOW it's going to be a long and hard road before I ever truly get away from these thoughts of failure, from being a flat, dead person. It will be a long time before I stop feeling like I'm living 2 separate lives. But one day... Geo will be alive again... one day.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Trade Deadline
Flames get David Hale (Defenceman) and a 5th rounder for a 3rd rounder from New Jersey. Not a bad trade. Adds depth to our defence for the playoffs and gives competition for Zyuzin and Giordano. He's also a defensive defenceman who is quoted to be very stable and reliable... so maybe this will help stabalize our spotty defence.
But the big news for today comes from up north... from Edmonton... where it seems to have really become Deadmonton after today. Ryan Smyth gone. Captain Canada... off to the Island. Shocker of a trade. Ryan Smyth not an Oiler anymore. However, there is still the possibility that he'll re-sign with the Oilers after this season... and if he does. Then the Oilers basically pick up 3 first round draft picks... BUT it also pretty much means that the Oilers Ownership has pretty much given up on making the playoffs this year. Crappy position to be an Oilers fan right now.
While talking about Deadlines... I'm far behind my own self-appointed deadline for school, lol. WAY behind. So... this means... hardcore studying for the next 2 weeks to catch back up to my deadline that I stated for all my theory to be done and all my exams written.
Otherwise... things to look forward to.
Tony's Bachelor Party this Saturday.
High River OR Practicum next Thursday.
Rockeyview Clinical Practicum in 2 weeks.
Also... I can't get enough of "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman!
But the big news for today comes from up north... from Edmonton... where it seems to have really become Deadmonton after today. Ryan Smyth gone. Captain Canada... off to the Island. Shocker of a trade. Ryan Smyth not an Oiler anymore. However, there is still the possibility that he'll re-sign with the Oilers after this season... and if he does. Then the Oilers basically pick up 3 first round draft picks... BUT it also pretty much means that the Oilers Ownership has pretty much given up on making the playoffs this year. Crappy position to be an Oilers fan right now.
While talking about Deadlines... I'm far behind my own self-appointed deadline for school, lol. WAY behind. So... this means... hardcore studying for the next 2 weeks to catch back up to my deadline that I stated for all my theory to be done and all my exams written.
Otherwise... things to look forward to.
Tony's Bachelor Party this Saturday.
High River OR Practicum next Thursday.
Rockeyview Clinical Practicum in 2 weeks.
Also... I can't get enough of "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Do You Have A Life?
Apparently... I do. :P I have seen 84 of the following movies.
The Test
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 120 of these movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 movies on this list. Copy this list mail, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun!
() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total: 3
() The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan
() Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II and 3
() White Noise
() White Oleander
()Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 4
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
()American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 14
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
()Robots
Total so far: 17
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
()Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 22
() A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 24
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
()Chicago
()Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 24
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
()Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
()The Grudge 2
(x)The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 27
(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 35
(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 40
( ) Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 46
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 57
() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 58
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 64
() Baseketball
() Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
( ) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 64
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
() Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 67
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x)Waterworld
Total so far: 69
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 72
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 78
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total movies: 84
The Test
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 120 of these movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 movies on this list. Copy this list mail, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun!
() Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total: 3
() The Princess Bride
() AnchorMan
() Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II and 3
() White Noise
() White Oleander
()Anger Management
(x)50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 4
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
() American Pie
() American Pie 2
()American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 8
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 14
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
()Robots
Total so far: 17
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
()Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 22
() A Cinderella Story
(X) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
Total so far: 24
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
()Chicago
()Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 24
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
()Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
()The Grudge 2
(x)The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 27
(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Sleven
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x ) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
() Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 35
(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 40
( ) Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 46
(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(X) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 57
() Swimfan
() Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 58
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 64
() Baseketball
() Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
() Elf
( ) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far: 64
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
() Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 67
( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
() Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x)Waterworld
Total so far: 69
(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 72
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 78
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total movies: 84
Saturday, February 10, 2007
The Dating Game - YAC
Who are these mysterious looking folks? Why, it's Ruth, Esther, Joshua and King David. Want to learn something interesting about them? Want to learn who picked each of them on a Dating Game? Click on My Videos to the right of this blog post and watch the videos. You can also see some wonderful photos of the Dating Game by clicking on My Photos which is also linked on the right of this blog post.
And Coming Soon to a Video near you...
A brand new GAME with a revolutionary idea that will SHOCK you like only a defibrillator can!
I Heart
How do you play? Follow 4 Simple Steps.
Step 1: Chew Gum in Mouth
Step 2: Take Chewed Gum from Mouth
Step 3: Stick Chewed Gum on Plate
Step 4: Touch Chewed Gum from Other Peoples Mouths and Form into One Unified Heart!
Edit: I Heart Video is NOW UP AND RUNNING! (See My Videos)
And finally... mandarin fellowship is gone! Peace and QUIET finally again. Those mandarin kids are BRATS!!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
It's a go Go GO for launch!
3 - I have sharpened my skates 3 times this year (since September) and all 3 times have been FREE! hahaha. Sweet deal eh? First time, it was because I waited 5-10 minutes for someone to sharpen my skates. Second time, I applied for the Sport Swap "Score More Card" and they tossed in a free sharpeneing. And today, because they were having difficulties helping the customer ahead of me at the cashier, they let me go for free because it was taking too long to resolve! :P
2 - I received confirmation today by my optometrist that the contacts are a go for my 2 eyes. There has been no problems thus far and everything looked great. So, it is contacts from here on in... except for those days that I'm too lazy to poke myself in the eyes. :P
1 - My 1 day of Operating Room Practicum was scheduled for tomorrow but because they are not doing any surgeries that require my services (which would be to simply provide oxygen via a Bag-Valve Mask and inserting an Oropharayngeal Airway) I am not required to go in. Which means... I now need to reschedule my 1 day of OR Practicum another day. Good and bad there... I don't need to drive to High River under the weather conditions that have sprung up in Calgary all of a sudden, but I really wanted to get this out of the way. Sigh, oh well, another day.
Now that the countdown is done. BLAST OFF to go practice some more bass and then get back to interpretating some good ol' ECG readings!
2 - I received confirmation today by my optometrist that the contacts are a go for my 2 eyes. There has been no problems thus far and everything looked great. So, it is contacts from here on in... except for those days that I'm too lazy to poke myself in the eyes. :P
1 - My 1 day of Operating Room Practicum was scheduled for tomorrow but because they are not doing any surgeries that require my services (which would be to simply provide oxygen via a Bag-Valve Mask and inserting an Oropharayngeal Airway) I am not required to go in. Which means... I now need to reschedule my 1 day of OR Practicum another day. Good and bad there... I don't need to drive to High River under the weather conditions that have sprung up in Calgary all of a sudden, but I really wanted to get this out of the way. Sigh, oh well, another day.
Now that the countdown is done. BLAST OFF to go practice some more bass and then get back to interpretating some good ol' ECG readings!
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Up, Up... and Awake!?!
Sigh... can't sleep. 3:38am. Wide awake. But tired... Listening to Switchfoot: 4:12. Almost there. Thinking too much. This quote came to mind again.
“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. There was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
- Alfred D. Souza
It seems I keep sitting around and just waiting for something to happen. For things to 'fall into place' as it were. Why am I so lazy? Why am I so apathetic? Why is it so hard to STOP being so lazy... so apathetic?
I wish I was the type of person that reached out and grabbed something... anything by the horns instead of being who I am... which is the type of person that really sits there with his hands open until something falls into it before I grab it. Sigh. Not to mention... my reflexes suck! So... when the opportunity does land... I usually don't notice till it's long gone.
Doubts are back. Doubts about paramedics. I think it's because my Operating Room Practicum is on Thursday. Or the fact that I dropped the ball during class last time when I chose not to do a live IV start. Or the fact that I still don't seem to be thinking of this 'schooling' as my career. I keep thinking of it like I thought of HS or JH or even University. Go through school... pass exams... graduate... get a job then life will start. That's when you start to really work. Well... I wanted something more practical for schooling and I got it... and I'm still thinking the same way. Bad Habits are hard to break.
Contacts... cooler safety goggles. That doesn't make you a paramedic. Your mental state and preparation does. And I'm not ready. I'm scared. Choosing which paramedic program for next year has gotten me to think... do I want to be a paramedic? Or stay as an EMT? As an EMT for the city... I'll usually be paired up with a paramedic... so my job duties will be mostly... Spinal Immobilization, Bag-Valve Mask, Packaging, Driving. Those things I can do... cause the patients life will for the most part be in my partners hands... not mine.
My biggest fear. Is not bugs. It's failure.
Unfortunately... I'm the type of guy that's afraid of failure and doesn't try... that way I can't fail.
I'd rather be the type of guy that's afraid of failure and tries... tries so hard to be perfect to stay away from failure.
Oh Lord: Break these chains! Set this captive free!
“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life. There was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
- Alfred D. Souza
It seems I keep sitting around and just waiting for something to happen. For things to 'fall into place' as it were. Why am I so lazy? Why am I so apathetic? Why is it so hard to STOP being so lazy... so apathetic?
I wish I was the type of person that reached out and grabbed something... anything by the horns instead of being who I am... which is the type of person that really sits there with his hands open until something falls into it before I grab it. Sigh. Not to mention... my reflexes suck! So... when the opportunity does land... I usually don't notice till it's long gone.
Doubts are back. Doubts about paramedics. I think it's because my Operating Room Practicum is on Thursday. Or the fact that I dropped the ball during class last time when I chose not to do a live IV start. Or the fact that I still don't seem to be thinking of this 'schooling' as my career. I keep thinking of it like I thought of HS or JH or even University. Go through school... pass exams... graduate... get a job then life will start. That's when you start to really work. Well... I wanted something more practical for schooling and I got it... and I'm still thinking the same way. Bad Habits are hard to break.
Contacts... cooler safety goggles. That doesn't make you a paramedic. Your mental state and preparation does. And I'm not ready. I'm scared. Choosing which paramedic program for next year has gotten me to think... do I want to be a paramedic? Or stay as an EMT? As an EMT for the city... I'll usually be paired up with a paramedic... so my job duties will be mostly... Spinal Immobilization, Bag-Valve Mask, Packaging, Driving. Those things I can do... cause the patients life will for the most part be in my partners hands... not mine.
My biggest fear. Is not bugs. It's failure.
Unfortunately... I'm the type of guy that's afraid of failure and doesn't try... that way I can't fail.
I'd rather be the type of guy that's afraid of failure and tries... tries so hard to be perfect to stay away from failure.
Oh Lord: Break these chains! Set this captive free!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Blurry
Boy, it's quite... interesting learning how to wear contacts for the first time. It took me forever just trying to get my contacts on, lol. I think it's because my eyes are too small. :P Took me probably more than half-an-hour the first time trying to put my contacts on. Then it only took me one and four tries respectively per eye the second time. And then it it only took me one try for both eyes the last try. YES! However, taking them out is still difficult. Sigh. Also, because these are 'trial' contacts... they arn't my exact prescription... so things are a bit blurry at a distance and I don't think they have any corrections for my stigmitism so it's kinda funky. However... they are in and they work. I look strange... but hopefully I'll get used to it. You guys should be used to me looking strange already. :P Now, time to see how long I can wear contacts for in a day. So far... almost 2 hours and I'm still fine. :P Lets multiply that by at least 6 and I'll be extremely pleased!
If they do work out... I might look into Oakley Safety Goggles, lol. Cause I find these 'cool' safety goggles (as Tanya calls them) to be a bit on the 'chunky' side. :P Perhaps not Oakleys as those are expensive... but something a bit more stylish. Uvex has some nice ones. :P
Oh, and I keep trying to adjust my non-existent glasses because it is a bit blurry and because of habit. So if you guys see me reach for my eyes for some strange reason or push on the bridge of my nose or something, that's why. :P
If they do work out... I might look into Oakley Safety Goggles, lol. Cause I find these 'cool' safety goggles (as Tanya calls them) to be a bit on the 'chunky' side. :P Perhaps not Oakleys as those are expensive... but something a bit more stylish. Uvex has some nice ones. :P
Oh, and I keep trying to adjust my non-existent glasses because it is a bit blurry and because of habit. So if you guys see me reach for my eyes for some strange reason or push on the bridge of my nose or something, that's why. :P
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Rejuvenated
No... not so much mentally or physcially... or even spiritually unfortunately. But more so... blogging wise, lol. With the youth entering the blogging world, it has added a new element and I guess excitement back to the blogging world. Makes me want to blog more too!
Anyways... I booked my appointment for contacts next week. So... I most likely will be glassesless starting next Wednesday. Wonder how I'll look, lol. Well, either way, I still hope that contacts works out for me and that I can wear them for long durations at a time. Even if I don't look good... I can at least wear it for school and work and not look so horrible with my UGLY safety glasses. :P My classmates say I look like I'm going to go scuba-diving with them on, lol. And my teachers all gave me a strange double-take when I first wore them, lol. So... contacts, PLEASE WORK!!
Also... my mom made me apply for a job, lol. It's a terrible job and one I don't want cause it's telephone research. And really... who wants to be one of those jerks that calls you during dinner time to ask you questions related to the health profession? Sheesh, lol. BUT... it's casual and in the medical field. Hopefully they are flexible, cause I need to be able to work it around my practicums (which I don't have a full schedule for yet). Pay is... decent I guess and extra cash will always come in handy especially if I keep playing hockey every week, lol. Need money! Oh, and eating out every weekend is sucking me dry. :P
Listening to the new Jars of Clay and new Switchfoot... cause I commented on Jen Bongs blog and then realized that I didn't know much about both cds, lol. So far... Switchfoot is better then when I first checked it out at CP last week but I still havn't warmed up to it quite yet. Jars of Clay has been really good but it took a couple listens but still not as good as Skillets. :P
Anyways... I booked my appointment for contacts next week. So... I most likely will be glassesless starting next Wednesday. Wonder how I'll look, lol. Well, either way, I still hope that contacts works out for me and that I can wear them for long durations at a time. Even if I don't look good... I can at least wear it for school and work and not look so horrible with my UGLY safety glasses. :P My classmates say I look like I'm going to go scuba-diving with them on, lol. And my teachers all gave me a strange double-take when I first wore them, lol. So... contacts, PLEASE WORK!!
Also... my mom made me apply for a job, lol. It's a terrible job and one I don't want cause it's telephone research. And really... who wants to be one of those jerks that calls you during dinner time to ask you questions related to the health profession? Sheesh, lol. BUT... it's casual and in the medical field. Hopefully they are flexible, cause I need to be able to work it around my practicums (which I don't have a full schedule for yet). Pay is... decent I guess and extra cash will always come in handy especially if I keep playing hockey every week, lol. Need money! Oh, and eating out every weekend is sucking me dry. :P
Listening to the new Jars of Clay and new Switchfoot... cause I commented on Jen Bongs blog and then realized that I didn't know much about both cds, lol. So far... Switchfoot is better then when I first checked it out at CP last week but I still havn't warmed up to it quite yet. Jars of Clay has been really good but it took a couple listens but still not as good as Skillets. :P
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Fatigued...
Decided to work on one of my 'resolutions' for this year and actually work out today. It's been such a long time since I last worked out and my muscles just can't take it anymore, lol. Usually I feel alright when working out and feel sore afterwards, but now it's like the opposite. I don't feel sore at all right now... but when I try to lift again... my muscles just give out, sigh. It's a good thing I bought my own weights, cause it would be embarassing to work out at SAIT in the condition I'm in right now, lol. So, I'll work on getting my muscles toned-up again to get over this muscle fatigue stage and then hit the SAIT gym later this month or starting in February (after all the other people who are hitting the gym because of New Year Resolutions finally give up). That way it won't be AS embarassing (I'm still a weakling though, lol) but yeah... should still hit up the gym later because I can't hit all my muscle groups with what I have at home.
Otherwise... been playing some bass as well. Don't quite know what to do with it anymore. In the sense that I don't know what I can do to improve from where I am currently. I'm thinking I'll go over some of my old piano theory books and maybe practice that way to further establish where everything is on the fret board and to get my knowledge of theory back up to par. That way I can MAYBE transpose again, lol.
And it seems everyone is quitting Junior Church... and I'm leaning on not returning after this year either. Nothing wrong with Junior Church or anything... but I seem to be double-booked all the time on Sunday now. And at this point... I think I prefer to do sound and usher than to teach. Guess we'll see how things turn out after this year.
Oh, and Andrew and Jacklyn got me Need For Speed: Most Wanted for the DS. I got it on Sunday. I'm already done the game. Unlocked all the cars. Suped them all up. :P Finished Final Fantasy 3. Finished everything in Bomberman. Opened everything in Brain Age. Unlocked and Finished everything in Mario Kart. Guess it's time to go back to the Game Cube, lol.
And... probably going to schedule an appointment for contacts stuff next week. Lets hope contacts works out for me. Cause I REALLY REALLY detest (not hate) but detest, hehe, my current safety goggles that I have to wear for Paramedics. And honestly... I bought 2 pairs of safety goggles online that havn't been worn becuase of the stupid inserts not working out!! So yeah... lets hope it works out!!
Otherwise... been playing some bass as well. Don't quite know what to do with it anymore. In the sense that I don't know what I can do to improve from where I am currently. I'm thinking I'll go over some of my old piano theory books and maybe practice that way to further establish where everything is on the fret board and to get my knowledge of theory back up to par. That way I can MAYBE transpose again, lol.
And it seems everyone is quitting Junior Church... and I'm leaning on not returning after this year either. Nothing wrong with Junior Church or anything... but I seem to be double-booked all the time on Sunday now. And at this point... I think I prefer to do sound and usher than to teach. Guess we'll see how things turn out after this year.
Oh, and Andrew and Jacklyn got me Need For Speed: Most Wanted for the DS. I got it on Sunday. I'm already done the game. Unlocked all the cars. Suped them all up. :P Finished Final Fantasy 3. Finished everything in Bomberman. Opened everything in Brain Age. Unlocked and Finished everything in Mario Kart. Guess it's time to go back to the Game Cube, lol.
And... probably going to schedule an appointment for contacts stuff next week. Lets hope contacts works out for me. Cause I REALLY REALLY detest (not hate) but detest, hehe, my current safety goggles that I have to wear for Paramedics. And honestly... I bought 2 pairs of safety goggles online that havn't been worn becuase of the stupid inserts not working out!! So yeah... lets hope it works out!!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Final Fantasy 3
FINALLY COMPLETED!! My game file states that I logged 36:27:59 in playing time to complete the game. However, there probably was a couple hours lost from dying and having to go back a couple hours to my save point. So, it was approximately 40 hours. Which was what Philip predicted it to be when he gave me the game. For my first Final Fantasy game ever, it was great. Highly addicting, great game. Don't know how often I'll play it again, but really... 40 hours spent on it already, lol. I probably will play it again... at a later time. Not only because it was such a great game but also because this Final Fantasy game has the option of choosing jobs for each character. And since I only used certain ones... next time I'll try different jobs out and see how that works out. First time around... My favorite combination was Geomancer, Ninja, Sage and Summoner (Enjoyed using Knight as well - which I actually used in place of the Geomancer for the final dungeon and last 4 bosses and final final boss - problem with this combo is that Ninja, Sage and Summoner are in the last group of jobs opened for use, so you can't use them until near the end of the game).
I looked up the Final Fantasy game for the GameCube, but it wasn't rated very high. IGN Review, Press Review or Reader Review. Seems it's a decent Final Fantasy game for single play, but is built more around playing it as a multiplayer. Well... I don't think I'll be purchasing it and asking people to come play with me all the time, what a hassle!! :P
Okay, time for bed. :P
I looked up the Final Fantasy game for the GameCube, but it wasn't rated very high. IGN Review, Press Review or Reader Review. Seems it's a decent Final Fantasy game for single play, but is built more around playing it as a multiplayer. Well... I don't think I'll be purchasing it and asking people to come play with me all the time, what a hassle!! :P
Okay, time for bed. :P
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
New Year
New Year Resolutions?? I don't think I really came up with any specifically... but I know what I WANT this year.
1) Change my mindset. I really need to get into a proper mindset for paramedics. I need to get away from this Monday-Friday, 8-5 mentality. Also, I need to find a way to get past my irrational fear of needles and sharp objects... especially when they are in my hands. Ever since I stabbed myself in my thumb... I get so freaked out when holding anything sharp... but I need to get past it becuase I need to do IVs. And before you all freak out, I CAN DO IVs PROPERLY. Just when it comes to doing live starts (on an actual person) I start to overthink everything and get really scared and I even avoided doing a live-start during a scenario and my instructor was not happy... and neither was I. I was so disappointed by myself and my confidence level just crashed when I turned down that live-start... and I REALLY need to get past this mindset. Sometimes, I NEED to cause pain to others in order to help them. I CAN, and I WILL do this.
2) Work Out. One of my friends in class weighs about 200lbs and just trying to move him around on a stretcher was difficult. I could do it, but it was not as smooth as it could have been. So, I need to get stronger. I need to get fitter. Going with resolution number 1: I will be going to school to use the gym this semester, but because it's usually busy during the day, I will go during the night. So, getting past this 8-5 mindset, I'll start doing things I normally wouldn't do during the evening (like go to the gym or go to school for studying or tutoring).
3) Play Bass by Camp. Really starting to lean towards taking lessons. If anybody knows someplace good and not expensive... let me know. Or if somebody knows someone who can teach more towards playing Bass for Worship, let me know. lol... I think this was one of my resolutions last year as well. :P Sure didn't work out. Maybe this year. :P
Some other things I've been thinking about include... After I graduate from EMT. I have 3 choices.
1) Work for a year or so (probably with the City as a Basic Life Support Provider).
2) Take the paramedic program through SAITs day program (5 days a week, 8 hours a day) which starts in September (which makes it a lot more difficult to get into considering interviews for that program start NOW and I do not have the proper prerequisites yet as I'm in the EMT course still).
3) Take the paramedic program through SAITs outreach program (1 week on, 1 week off) which starts next January (but is not government funded so is double the tuition of the day program). I'm leaning towards this one right now.
Another thing: I want to get contacts. I'm so used to glasses and I don't mind them. But the safety goggles that I have currently that go over my glasses are UGLY! And the fact that glasses as a paramedic can become somewhat of a hindrance. So, I'm going to test out contacts. See how they work out for me. I know that my eyes are dry and that I probably can't wear them an entire day... but if they work enough for me to wear for a shift... then they'll be worth it.
1) Change my mindset. I really need to get into a proper mindset for paramedics. I need to get away from this Monday-Friday, 8-5 mentality. Also, I need to find a way to get past my irrational fear of needles and sharp objects... especially when they are in my hands. Ever since I stabbed myself in my thumb... I get so freaked out when holding anything sharp... but I need to get past it becuase I need to do IVs. And before you all freak out, I CAN DO IVs PROPERLY. Just when it comes to doing live starts (on an actual person) I start to overthink everything and get really scared and I even avoided doing a live-start during a scenario and my instructor was not happy... and neither was I. I was so disappointed by myself and my confidence level just crashed when I turned down that live-start... and I REALLY need to get past this mindset. Sometimes, I NEED to cause pain to others in order to help them. I CAN, and I WILL do this.
2) Work Out. One of my friends in class weighs about 200lbs and just trying to move him around on a stretcher was difficult. I could do it, but it was not as smooth as it could have been. So, I need to get stronger. I need to get fitter. Going with resolution number 1: I will be going to school to use the gym this semester, but because it's usually busy during the day, I will go during the night. So, getting past this 8-5 mindset, I'll start doing things I normally wouldn't do during the evening (like go to the gym or go to school for studying or tutoring).
3) Play Bass by Camp. Really starting to lean towards taking lessons. If anybody knows someplace good and not expensive... let me know. Or if somebody knows someone who can teach more towards playing Bass for Worship, let me know. lol... I think this was one of my resolutions last year as well. :P Sure didn't work out. Maybe this year. :P
Some other things I've been thinking about include... After I graduate from EMT. I have 3 choices.
1) Work for a year or so (probably with the City as a Basic Life Support Provider).
2) Take the paramedic program through SAITs day program (5 days a week, 8 hours a day) which starts in September (which makes it a lot more difficult to get into considering interviews for that program start NOW and I do not have the proper prerequisites yet as I'm in the EMT course still).
3) Take the paramedic program through SAITs outreach program (1 week on, 1 week off) which starts next January (but is not government funded so is double the tuition of the day program). I'm leaning towards this one right now.
Another thing: I want to get contacts. I'm so used to glasses and I don't mind them. But the safety goggles that I have currently that go over my glasses are UGLY! And the fact that glasses as a paramedic can become somewhat of a hindrance. So, I'm going to test out contacts. See how they work out for me. I know that my eyes are dry and that I probably can't wear them an entire day... but if they work enough for me to wear for a shift... then they'll be worth it.