Interview

Yes, I had an interview today... from a Mormon evangelist at the bus stop at Dalhousie. :P Made me think... you know... what if... I was more updated with my apologetics, haha. Then I could have turned all the questions back on him and made him think. Unfortunately, my apologetics is pretty poor and I wasn't in the mood to discuss or debate since my top of the head knowledge is not as deep as it should be. So, he basically introduced himself, asked if I knew Jesus Christ and explained about the Book of Mormon and that was it and for me to think and pray about it. Also, I had just finished an interview for the EMT (Emergency Medical Technician - Ambulance) program for next fall. Which, I don't know, was alright I guess. Kinda scared that I won't get in and it made me think is this really what I want to do?? Most of the questions were based on how much do I know about the paramedic field in general? And honestly, not much, haha, oh boy. It's just something I can see myself doing and enjoy doing. So we shall see... completely out of my hands. Only 73 seats and only those who they deem are good enough are allowed in (if they don't fill up all the seats, that's fine by them). Ack. Why is life so complicated?? What if I don't get in? What do I do? I havn't heard anything back from Mount Royal Nursing either... out of school again next year?? Barely more qualified then last year... am I going in the right direction God? Is this where you want me to be? Is this who you want me to be? What am I not doing that I could be doing? ACK!! Luckily, I felt pretty calm before and after the interview (really nervous during) and I really felt that I have no control and that is it now wholly in God's very capable hands and I should leave it there and stop worrying about it. SO, I shall stop worrying about it now, haha. Though I did have to send in my Unofficial UofA transcript in right after... and err... UofA was not exactly the best times in my life academically... hopefully that doesn't affect the selection process... please please please... ack, okay, stop worrying, start praying!

Score of 42...

So, according to Dr. Phil's test I am:

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Fresh? Lively? Charming? Amusing (in what way)? Always interesting? Center of attention? Interesting. How accurate is this test, I do not know. If you wish to see the test, you can check it out at Kingstons blog as I do not feel like cutting and pasting the entire test here.

Otherwise, FLAMES WIN A BLOWOUT GAME!! Finally! haha. 7-2 against St. Louis. Granted, it was against St. Louis, but still... if we can't win a blow-out game against a team like St. Louis then that's even sadder. :P It is sad to see how far Lalime has fallen though... some HORRIBLE goals he let in tonight. But oh well, we'll take the win. I wonder if they'll play Boucher tomorrow against Columbus though... considering what happened the last time he played (granted, Columbus is not nearly as good of a team as Nashville) but still, it's a TIGHT TIGHT race here.

Stretcher Lift Test tomorrow morning. I have a feeling I'm going to be REALLY REALLY Sore tomorrow and possibly for the weekend. We have to move stretchers up and down staircases to make sure we can physically do it as part of our application process for the EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) program for September. And these will be fully laden stretchers. Oh well, should be interesting. And no, my ex-job at the hospital will not have prepared me for this, as we take the elevators at the Foothills. :P

Edit: I passed the stretcher lift test, YES! But now my forearms are extremely sore. 150lb of sandbags was placed ontop of the stretcher, which probably weighs 50-80lbs itself? Ack. Gonna have to work on that forearm strength for sure though. Anyways, now it is time for the Formal Interview next Thursday. Ack. I sure hope I can answer all the questions adequately and that my resume will be adequate as well. So scared. Got to get some references togther quickly too.

Hearts of the Innocent

The new Kutless is out!! $12.86 at Blessings TODAY AND ONLY TODAY!! Highly Recommended. :P Musically, really good. Lyrically, probably their best, IMO. As of right now, "Smile" is my favorite song on the cd.

Terminated

CRAP! I just got my contract terminated. Not because I failed my health assessment (which I didn't), but becuase they say I'm not available for shifts enough. What the crap. I've been open with them from the very beginning about being in school and everything and they said that it wouldn't be a problem that they would understand. I've refused 3 shifts so far and taken 3. 2 of them I refused because of school and one because I couldn't make it in on time. ARGH! It's just so frustrating when they say everything will be fine and that they understand and then they let you go because of the exact reasons they guaranteed were fine. Then they compare myself to the other people who have been trained at the same time I was... all of them not having school or other issues to deal with AND they say they've taken more shifts then me, NO DUH! they've also been receiving more calls to go in. ARGH, it's so frustrating... you work so hard to get work and school balanced and then they decide that you arn't trying hard enough!

Man... I didn't realize how much I loved this job until today... For the records... I'm crying again. Refuse a shift to force myself to study for 6 hours only to have that be a major reason why I get fired. Refuse a shift so I can make it to my dad's birthday dinner and get fired. Refuse a shift so I can go to school and get fired. And apparently they said that I've refused more shifts then that even though I never got those calls, what the crap. SO PISSED OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Health Assessment

Ha, it would really suck if I failed my health assessment and then have my contract revoked and end up not actually getting the job. Hopefully all goes well today... cause I'm really liking this job right now and I would dearly like to keep it for quite the while. :P Working on Sunday turned out to be pretty good. Getting past the shock of working on a weekend and missing out on Jacksons b-day party and even Courtney's b-day party was tough to begin with but by the end of my shift I was in a pretty good mood. I got to work a designated area, intead of central - which operates around the entire hospital moving everything from patients, cadavers, specimens, equipment and charts. The designated area was in Emerg XRay. So my entire day was to move patients between XRay, CT, Emergency and Minor Emerg with the occasional patients back to inpatient clinics in the main hospital area. And since the day wasn't extremely busy, I got to sit and read some books that I brought last week or watch TV (saw some desparate housewives, scrubs, the oilers get beat by minnesota!! and even some claymation Carebears, haha). But I really like working in the emerg area... everyone is on top of things, there isn't any grumpy nurses or slow nurses to deal with and the patients are usually really nice and talkative when you move them because they've been there for hours on end with nothing to do and since I get to transport them to and from xray or ct, I see them twice or sometimes even more if they need more pictures taken at a later time, and I walk past their beds everytime I have to go get somebody else. The best is when you walk by their beds and you finally dont see them, which means they finally got sent home or to a unit (sounds dumb, but it sucks having to see them sit their on their beds for hours with nothing to do just waiting for a doctor to finally get back to them about their condition). I even got my first call where security had to accompany me... kinda scary. The guy was just extremely aggressive for some reason... so he got this small cramped up room with an uncomforatable bed and a door that only gets opened from the outside, haha. And he kept on complaining about service, sheesh... you wonder why you get such poor service if you have such poor attitude.

Oh Man...

Oh man... school on a Sunday. That's a first. And unfortunately, it won't be the last. There's 2 more for sure before the end of April. And who knows what my schedule will be if I get into EMT and beyond. Otherwise, it wasn't too bad. Luckily, we focused primarily on splinting, traction-splinting and using extrivication devices. Which are all hands-on and no theory or lecture time today. And since we were all very apathetic today, the instructors decided to let us out at 3:30 instead of at our scheduled 5:00.

Oh man... work next Sunday as well. That will also be a first. However, it is a 3-11 shift, so I won't have to miss church next week.

Oh man... I went to Pearl Tea Hut today after schoool and found out that I was missing my debit card!! I've never lost a debit/credit card before and I was really shocked and scared of the possibilities and the fact that I had no idea what I was supposed to do if I lost a card (who do I call to inform it's gone?). I ended up ordering a pearl tea before calling/heading over to Cheesecake to pick it back up. :P Good thing it was there.

Oh man... I spent about $200 yesterday in an impromptu shopping trip. I got tired of studying, so I decided to head down to the Avinida Sportchek for their Store Closing Sale and ended up buying a Vic Onepeice hockey stick for $84 (regular is $130), so it wasn't that big of a deal, but I drove all the way down there and didn't want to leave empty-handed. :P I then went over to CP and bought 2 cds for $24 (Switchfoot - A Beautiful Letdown and Thousand Foot Krutch - Phenomenon) and apparently I just missed bumping into Andrew, Jacklyn, Jackson, Jenny, Kingston, Sam and Sarah as everybody dropped by Sportchek to grab up cheap stuff. :P After that, I dropped my bass guitar off at Long & McQuade for my free setup and bought a guitar tuner and a guitar stand totallying about $40. Then I drove back up to Marketmall and dropped off clothes for the Salvation Army and then took a stroll around the mall. Ended up buying 4 dvds all of them being 2 for $30 (Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, Dodgeball and the Goonies).

Oh man... I am now 0/1 at Roll Up The Rim. And I think I'll probably end up staying at 0/1 till this is over as I don't drink coffee or tea and the hot chocolate wasn't spectacular either. Oh well...

Oh man... I think this was the first Sunday in quite a while where I ended up at home instead of hanging out with everyone... though that's more because I lost my debit card and had to come back up to the northwest anyways and decided to just head home instead.

Oh man... I'm finally caught up with Battlestar Galactica and now I have to wait a week for every episode, that's going to be tough. Especially since Episode 19 was a TO BE CONTINUED!!

Oh man... Thursday night... All you can eat Sushi and Korean BBQ at Sushi BBQ Inn with Cell Group?? or... head in to lab and practice all applications for EMR with fellow classmates?? hopefully, work doesn't call for a relief shift on Thursday as well to complicate matters even more...

Oh man... this blog has been really pointless and getting long, so I'll stop now.

First Official Day

Yup, it's the first official day of my burps smell stinkier than Kingstons. Actually, that's probably impossible. But it was the first official day of work after training. And I guess I really need to work on my sleep habits, haha... it's not good to go to sleep after 1 and then get a call at 7:30 in the morning to see if I could go in. But it was overall a good day. Worked from 9-5 and didn't seem to make any huge mistakes, hehe. But it is definately a lot more stressful when you end up having to go on your own and do everything on your own without somebody more experienced keeping an eye out for you. But everything seemed to go nice and smoothly, so that is great. So, 40 hours down, another 1,960 hours to go before I'm finally done with my probation period. :P Now to rest my poor feet... and my friend who is jealous because I got the job that she's been after for months says that you sit around all the time, HA! Other than my half-hour lunch break and a short 15 minute break, I was walking around carrying out jobs, and man is the hospital big and when you have to go back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth and carry equipment and push stretchers and take stairs because the elevators always break down or they are always too busy to actually catch... my poor poor feet....

Oh, and I thought somebody stole or towed my car after work too... but it was just because I forgot exactly where it was parked. :P So, I checked out 3 different levels of the parkade before I found it on the correct level on the opposite side. Sigh, you know you're mentally fatigued when you can't even remember where you parked your car.

Flames Talk

What the... Cale Hulse? We traded for Cale Hulse? Why? He's at best a 5th-6th defenceman. Are we stocking up on depth for the playoff run?? Which is quite possible, but now we have Robyn Regehr and Leopold, Hamrlik (once he comes back from injury) and Phaneuf, Warrener and Ferrence, Marchment, Giordano, Richie Regehr and now Hulse as well... Depth never hurts I guess and we didn't really give anything up to get Hulse...

I'm thinking that maybe Hulse was brought in to play as a 5th-6th D-man so that we can offer Warrener or Ferrence (in combination with some forwards, likely Kobasew and another player) in a trade to get somebody like Jokinen to provide us with a number one centreman to complement Iginla. Why Kobasew? Because we have to offer up somebody whose got potential and it's either Kobasew or Lombardi and I think Lombardi has stepped up more so then Kobasew. Also, Dustin Boyd is more of a Kobasew type replacement than a Lombardi replacement, so we won't be missing out on much once Boyd comes up within the next 2 years or so. Or possibly, Brent Krahn will be shipped out if Florida is looking for a goalie with good potential to replace Luongo if they end up losing him as rumours state. Oooh... going to be interesting what trades happen before the trade-deadline comes up next week.

A Triple Code Day

So, there was yet another Code Blue today, hope it doesn't happen everyday... and definately hope it doesn't happen so that I have to be the person that has to call it in. Anyways, Code Blue is Cardiac Arrest or Medical Emergencies. So, once you call a Code Blue, a response team of doctors, nurses and such rush to the scene with a crash cart and such. Code Black is a Bomb Threat at the hospital. But yeah, the second Code for today was a Code Yellow. It's a code that nobody really pays attention to, as I just kept on reading a magazine and didn't even take notice of where the Code was being called from. But Code Yellow is a missing patient, and it only affects Security and the nurses at the unit that it is called at. The third and last Code today doesn't get any attention by anyone either, and that is Code Red. Which is the Fire Alarm, and nobody pays attention to it because it goes off quite frequently as patients in the Psych ward might pull it, or somebody forgot something in a kitchen or something... so you can really tell who works at the hospital and who is a visitor when a fire alarm is going off as all the visitors stand dazed and look around anxiously, while everybody who works at the hospital just keeps on walking, talking, laughing and doing their jobs like they don't even notice it. :P The only annoying thing with a Code Red is that all the elevators get sent to the main floor and get locked down for the duration of the Code, and then you get this huge back log of patients, equipment and everything waiting to cram into the elevators on every floor immediately afterwards.

Anyways, one more day of training and then I'll be done with that. I don't have my work schedule yet though... But yeah, I really hope my scrubs come in (but there's a chance I won't get them for a couple more weeks)... but it really feels weird walking around in the scrubs that I currently have as the pants are too long and is really baggy and sometimes feel like they're going to fall off. Oh, and if you don't know, all scrubs are color coded... so burgandy colored scrubs are the scrubs I should be wearing as a porter... teal colored scrubs are the scrubs I should be wearing when I work on the lift-team... deep blue colored scrubs are for house-cleaning... and I'm currently wearing sky-blue colored scrubs, which are surgeon colors. :P So, I look like a surgeon when I'm going around. :) Clem, Kenric, Milty and Tony suggested that I pick up girls like that... by saying, "Hey, I'm Dr. Geoffrey Mah, do you mind if I give you a mole check?"

CODE BLUE!

So, who knows what Code Blue is in a hospital setting?? And out of curiosity... what is code blue at Wal-Mart, all you wal-martians?? Anyways, there was a code blue today and I was on the elevator that ended up being sent directly to the response team, so I had to rush off the elevator right away, luckily I was heading to the main floor anyways. So, the second day of training was much more interesting than the first, by far. The first day of training was walking around the entire foothills medical clinic to get a sense of where everything is located, and boy is there a lot of places to know. Today, we got sent on a scavenger hunt around the hospital to see if we could find all the places on our own, that was pretty cool... and we had to get signatures from unit clerks at all the locations we were sent to and I even got a chocolate egg from one unit. :P After that, we got paired up with experienced porters and got to observe them, though mine made me do all her work after I observed the first few calls. Haha, but it was all good, really good experience that way. Get to practice doing everything and yet having somebody experienced jumping in here and there to make sure things went smoother. :P Luckily, my first 5 jobs were all just moving folders and such to different units. Moving patients wasn't too bad... moving them on a stretcher was pretty easy to do... moving a patient on a wheelchair and having to bring along an IV pole was much harder as it requires a TON of wriststrength to move and turn a wheelchair with one hand. And no dead bodies yet, and luckily when I visited the morgue, they weren't doing any autopsies yet. :P I think the worst call ever will be to transport a dead baby... it's so sad... and you have to place them in a baby coffin for the transport too... anyways, 2 more days of training...

Kaput

So... I have now figured that nobody actually reads the 'inspirational' messages. So, Inspirational Tuesdays is now officially kaput.

And an update on my job opportunity. I received a phone call on Friday afternoon, but I missed the call because I was taking a shower, and they never called my cellphone, and I didn't realize that they had left a message on the answer machine. So, I thought nothing about it and left the house for the rest of the day, until my mom notified me of the message that asked me to give them a call back before 7pm that Friday... this was after 9pm on Friday. Sigh, so I gave them a quick call and left a message. I was informed during my interview that the first day of training was most likely going to be today, and I didn't receive a call back from them all weekend... which means that I didn't get the job, cause they didn't bother calling my cell phone, so it couldn't have been important enough as to locate me to notify me before traning, sigh... I'm presuming that I didn't get the job because I didn't put weekends down for availability (because my labs are on every other weekend)... but oh well... that meant that I ended up staying at Jacksons house longer than I would have if I were to have started training today, and I got to finish playing Gauntlet Legends. :P And I agree, that was a really short game, haha.

Oh, and I got a phone call today informing me that I actually did get the job, and that training will now start next tuesday after family day. :P So, all that worrying and checking my phone every half-hour over the weekend (especially while playing football, because I was afraid all the running would make me not notice the phone ringing) was pointless. :P

Inspirational Tuesdays Pt. 3

A little about my week again. I told some of you that I was not looking for another job (full-time or part-time) as I was content on just focusing on school for the moment. However, I received a call yesterday morning from the foothills hospital about a possible position and to come in for an interview today. While going in to the interview this morning I realized that I didn't even know for what position this was for, as I had sent in a couple resumes to different positions, haha. The closest possibility was from my latest resume sent in for a lift-team position which I had my old dad's new wife send in for me through internal sources. :P During my interview, I found out that it's a combination of lift-team and porter (a position I had applied for back in September), so that was awesome. There's apparently 4-5 people being interviewed and only 3 spots open, so hopefully I get one of them. If I do, I'll be working Casual-Relief, but I finally get my foot in the health-care door and it will be perfect training/practice for paramedics as well. Now to make sure I stay on top of my schooling while working as well, haha, oh boy, I sure hope I can handle the extra workload. I guess that's all for now.

Simple Difference

There once was a man who was deeply contemplating life. He Asked God to help him understand. God sent an Angel to take him on a little trip. The Angel brought him to an Elevator and down, down, down they went.

When the doors opened, the man saw a huge banquet table. Seated around the table were horribly miserable looking people. They were starving, not much more than skin and bone, and yet the table was full of every food imaginable. The man quickly turned to the Angel and said, "Why don't they eat?"

The Angel said, "Watch closely." The man watched and realized that the utensils the people were trying to eat with were six feet long. Try as they may, they couldn't get the food into their mouths. They would stab the food, try to flip the food into their mouths, but the food fell to the floor, the wall ..... seemingly everywhere but into their mouths. When someone tried to reach out with their hands to get the food, it instantly turned to stone.

A table flush with food and everyone was starving. Soon the man couldn't take any more of this misery and said, "I've seen enough." So they got in the elevator and shot up, up and up.

When the door opened, the man was astonished. Before them was an almost identical scene. Another table full of every imaginable food. Hugh six foot utensils, and people seated all around poking at the food. The shocking difference here was that everyone was laughing, happy, joyous and well fed. He then saw a woman seated at the table try and use her hand to catch a carrot that was rolling off the table. As she caught it, it turned to stone. She tossed it into a pile and they all laughed.

The man frustrated said, "I don't get it, everything is the same but these people are so happy. Why?"

"Watch and see," the Angel said with a gentle smile. Then at once it hit him. There was ONE SIMPLE DIFFERENCE. THE HAPPIER PEOPLE were using THE UTENSILS TO FEED ONE ANOTHER, while THE OTHERS were using THE UNTENSILS TO FEED THEMSELVES.

Inspirational Tuesdays Pt. 2

Well... a little about my week first. I'm done my job at Samaritans Purse now, as I didn't take up the contract extension. This way, I have no excuse NOT to study and to do well. My first lab day was on Saturday as well... it went relatively well, now to make sure I remember everything I was taught and to keep practicing it and hammering it into my head and make it second nature. DCAP-BLS and TIC!! Look for Deformities, Contusions, Abrasions, Penetrations, Burns, Lacerations and Swelling. Feel for Tenderness, Instability and Crepitation! Ha, we even got to poke each other to check for each other's blood-gluclose levels... it's nice to see that there are other aspiring-paramedics that get qweezy around blood (good thing we'll all be trained to get over it). The person that got to poke me though, was really freaked out about poking other people, and ended up poking me 3 times just to get a puncture on the side of my index finger to get a blood sample. That wasn't fun, haha, but it sure shows me how important it is to do it right for your patients. :P Also, I think next lab day we get to practice taking vitals in the back of a moving ambulance. :P

GOD EXISTS

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said :

"Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so."

"Why do you say that?" Asked the client.

"Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain. I can't think of a God who permits all of these things."

The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to respond so as to prevent an argument.

The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his cut and he looked so untidy). Then the client again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber:

"Know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?" asked the barber. "Well I am here and I am a barber."

"Noo!" the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Inspirational Tuesdays Pt. 1

Warning: LONG BLOG.

Okay, so, from last week's post, I figured I'd start posting some of these inspirational stories that made me cry so much. :P Mondays would have been a nice start to the week, but I forgot. Wednesdays would help boost your week in the middle. But Toonie Tuesdays... Cheap Movie Tuesdays... Inspirational Tuesdays... what the heck, haha. And spending that one hour at the 24/7 Prayer room really set the mood for this as well. It was a nice and peaceful time alone with God and it just shows how much I've fallen back and how much growth I still need to achieve. If you have free time, I encourage you to head over there and just pray, read (your bibles, devotionals, writings/prayers on the walls), draw/paint, whatever. It will definately be an uplifting time.

A Doll and A White Rose

I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kinda wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I kind of mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys. And wondered if the grandkids would even play with them.

I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about 5 holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I could not seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for. I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, "Are you sure I don't have enough money" She replied a bit impatiently, "You know that you don't have enough money for it." The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere that she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle. The boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit I asked the boy who the doll was for. He said, "It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it." I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said "No, Santa can't go where my sister is...I have to give the doll to my Mamma to take to her". I asked him where his sister was. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said "She has gone to be with Jesus." "My Daddy says that Mama is going to have to go be with her."

My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, "I told my Daddy to tell Mama not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store."

Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he'd had taken at the front of the store. He said "I want my Mamma to take this with her so she don't ever forget me." "I love my Mama so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me." "But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister." I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet.

While he was not looking I reached into my purse and pulled out a handful of bills. I asked the little boy, "Shall we count that money one more time?" He grew excited and said "Yes, I just know it has to be enough". So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it. Of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, "Thank you Jesus for giving me enough money." Then the boy said "I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Mama can take it with her to give to my sister." "And he heard my prayer. I wanted to ask him for enough to buy my Mama a white rose, but I didn't ask him, but he gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Mama." "She loves white roses so very, very much".

In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I could not keep from thinking about the little boy as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the Mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on whether to remove the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

Two days later I read in the paper where the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I could not forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected.

Later that day, I could not help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young woman was. And there she was holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store. I left there in tears, my life changed forever.

The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming. And in a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.

Suffice to say, I havn't been driving as recklessly as before. But, this also shows how much Faith little children have. Something I've lost over the years, and it's something I need to work on growing again. This story also proves that God DOES answer prayers (even those you never put to words) and that God is STILL by our side even through the most difficult of times. And sometimes, you wonder why you go through what you do and nothing positive ever seems to come out of it. Well, sometimes, your difficulties are meant to strengthen those around you. So, be a blessing to everyone, no matter what circumstances you find yourselves to be in.

What happened to him? Where did he go?

Last week, me and Jenny had went out shopping and ended up having a very interesting conversation about everything (mostly about the past) over dinner that lasted over an hour. It was great talking about the past and looking back at our lives and the things we've done, and how we've changed... but one of the things that Jenny stated was that it was great how I don't cry as much as I once did. Which was a lot... I was extremely emotional and broke down into tears every week at the very least... and I agreed with her that it was a good thing. To be emotionally stable is a GOOD thing, to not let minor things bring you down is a GOOD thing, to understand that you can't possibly fix everything or that you arn't always the reason things go sour is a GOOD thing. I honestly can't remember when the last time I broke down into tears over something... possibly first year uni.

Today, I decided to go through all my saved emails in my YAHOO account, so as to send them over to my gmail account. That way I could search for them faster and be able to use them, as most, if not all, were of the inspirational sort. And honestly, I broke into tears, again and again and again. I spent roughly 3 hours reading through them, fixing them up and sending them to my gmail account and the tears just kept coming. And the one thing I realized was this:
In the past few years since I went to Edmonton for schooling and since I've come back home; I have lost something. I thought I had learned so much and gained so much knowledge by living on my own, that I didn't realize what I had lost till tonight. I thought the experience at UofA had made me stronger emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. I was more social, better equiped for life and was more of individualistic. I wasn't as much of a push-over, I wasn't as scared of people and I wasn't breaking down into tears over every little thing that happens between me and my friends.
But what I've lost were the importance of Love, Faith and Hope. I didn't break down into tears or even showed that I cared over the little things (a friend was hurt by what somebody else said), or even the major things (my parents were in the hospital for medical reasons) anymore because I simply didn't care. If something happened to someone, I'd simply say it was their own fault, they brought it upon themselves or that whatever happens, happens. I no longer sympathized with them or even cared if they got through it. If it happens, it happens, nothing more, nothing less. I looked over some of the emails that I sent out when I was younger and I noticed that some of them had me connecting such emails with bible verses and words of encouragement for people that I cared about. I no longer do that, I no longer even bother trying or caring.

Another thing that I told Jenny was that in this New Year, I want to improve my spiritual walk, because it has slipped over the last few months due to work and a lack of time. Now I realize that I've slipped much further than I would ever have imagined. I no longer serve with a passion, I do what I do because I can, or because I think I can do it better than someone else. I go to fellowship and church because I should, not becuase I long to. I sleep in for work more and more becuase I don't want to be at devotions. My prayers are rigid and done out of habit. And I no longer have that sense of Love for others. I will always look out for and be happy when I'm around my friends, but how many of them do I go out of my way to ensure that their lives are well and to be there for them to lean upon and to stand by them in their most difficult times? How many of them would want me to be there in their most difficult times? How many of them do I allow past my defences, to see who I am inside, to see what troubles me, to allow them to even try to aid in them. I mentioned to Jenny that I have no close friends in my life anymore, but that I was content at having a group of good friends. But where then is my accountability? or my comforting shoulder?

It is a time for change. It is a time to find myself once more. It is a time to find who God wants me to be and to become that person fully. It is a time to step out of the comfort zone and to step away from the excuses. It is a time to become fully in LOVE with God once again and not care about making people happy or finishing those sentences just for a quick laugh. It is a time to find a balance of being the quiet/shy kid and the obnoxious/proud adolescence.

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY
May God Bless You,
"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be
the world"

Back To School

Well... after a semester away from school, I'm finally back. This time round, I'll be taking my EMR at SAIT. Today was the first day. It was just orientation, so it wasn't anything much, but it's good to hear that I got into the program at a good time. Apparently, there is a high demand for paramedics right now and should be at its peak when I graduate in a couple years. Excellent.
Bad news is that one of my instructors dropped out due to personal reasons and my lab schedule has been changed to fit with the new instructor that came in. Which means that I can no longer attend Breakforth. Which SUCKS, cause I was really looking forward to going, and I really wanted to see Kutless in concert as well. But I guess that isn't going to happen anymore. It sucks even more that I can't get a refund on my registration cause it's past the deadline. SO... if somebody wants to go, they can take my registration. Currently, Jenny is priority, since I ended up talking to her first after I found out I couldn't go. :P But she is still checking her schedule, so yeah. Let me know if you're interested. It is $127.33. But honestly, I'll give discounts where needed. :P
Otherwise, I'm going to be studying a ton now... and hopefully I understand everything and do well. I want to graduate near the top of the class so I can jump right into city instead of having to move out to some rural area for a number of years before coming back. Also, I want to do really well so I can get into tactical EMT - get to train alongside SWAT and be the team that goes in to such situations. Apparently, I won't get a gun, haha, but oh well... it should still make things more interesting.

The Dreaded Interview - Geo's Remix

THE RULES:
1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond with five questions for you.
3. You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers. (Or if you have no journal, just post your responses as a reply here)
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

THE QUESTIONS: (Courtesy of Kingston)
1. If you were stranded on a desserted island, and you could only pick one food source to be provided as your sustanance at an unlimited amount, what would that food be and why?
I was going to say meat (steak/ribs/etc)... but I'm thinking that it wouldn't be sufficient for survival. So assuming that there will be some natural fruits on this island to provide me with my vitamin input, and assuming that there will most likely be fish around the island to provide me with protein. I would have to say RICE in order to provide me with my carbs, and rice goes with anything and is so much more flexible in cooking than pasta or bread. :P

2. What is--in your opinion--your greatest achievement?
Tough question... I always seem to have doubts and reservations about any of my achievements. There will always be something that I could have done better or should have done in order for it to have been better... but I guess if I were to choose something, it would have to be any of the VBS's. Being able to watch these kids grow up and being able to be there to help them and hopefully influencing them positively would be it I guess. I don't even know if that counts as an achievement... but yeah, otherwise, I havn't really established myself in my own life to consider anything achieived. Graduating high school would be an achievement, but I never put any effort into it to have it be considered great.

3. What is your favorite love song of all time?
"When God Made You" - Newsong w/ Natalie Grant

4. Let's say you were the last man on Earth and the entire human race depended on you finding a mate. The only mates left on Earth under this circumstance for you to choose from for some reason are the female teachers you've had in your life through elementary-high school. Which teacher would you choose? Describe her and tell us why you'd pick her.
First off... how do you even come up with a question like this??
I guess, technically, if I were the last surviving male on Earth and was depended upon to replenish the race of homosapians, it really wouldn't matter whom I chose. Or actually, I should choose them all and speed up the process. :P
But I don't know... I guess if I HAD to choose one... Mrs. Uitenbosch (grade 9 homeroom teacher and grade 7 and 9 math teacher). She was the nicest, most understanding, easiest to get along with, most respected, etc...

5. What would you rather do: become a YAC Leader or a Worship Leader?
Easy question. YAC Leader. Worship leading would be terrible... I'd have to sing and that alone should be reason enough for why I wouldn't ever be or SHOULDN'T ever be a worship leader. :P And I'm more of a back-ground type person, I realize you need to get out of your comfort zone, but my skills are better suited for background stuff, none of this center-stage business. So, YAC Leader... as long as I don't need to be the chair. :P

MY PHOTOS UPDATED: YAC Sleepover

Working Through The Holidays...

really, really sucks. 2 weeks holiday has now become a 2 day holiday and it bites. It's just not the same... sigh... oh well... might as well get used to it now. We can't all become teachers and get to enjoy the holidays. :P

Went skiing yesterday and it was pretty good. It was kinda cold, especially riding up the Angel ski-lift, but it was fun. I'm really sore now, but not as sore as I would have been if I had went snowboarding. :P

Played some Dutch Blitz today, haha, and that was fun as well. Philip is now called Mr. Cheat. :P

Time for bed, but I'll leave you guys all with this joke I just found:

A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, Oh no, not my brother, he's an idiot! Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother thinks, Wow, that's not a bad name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise! Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, "Denephew."

Christmas Is Finally Upon Us...

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS, and Merry Christmas to the rest of ya. :P But wow, not what you would expect for a Christmas day in Calgary... +10 degrees... no snow... tons of sunshine, it's awesome, haha.

Anyways, I thought Christmas was really good this year. Even though I got my first taste of working through the holiday season, all things still worked out. Thank You God. I didn't get much sleep with all my after-work shopping, but at least I finished shopping on-time, haha. And it wasn't really "rushed" shopping either. I got a lot of thought into most of my gifts, and I'm quite happy about what I gave people this year. So far... only a few bad choices... 1) got the wrong hat for Crys, whoops, but I tried... and that was honestly the only one there at the time, haha, as King and Karen can attest to. 2) The book I got King was a bad gamble, cause he already had it. Otherwise, everything else, I havn't heard anything bad from, hehe. Tony was really happy with his gift, so that's great. Nathan was really happy with his gift as well. So, I've broken even at least, haha.

Candle-light service was really good last night. Short, simple, to the point. Very refreshing. It was disappointing that there was no pot-luck though, but oh well... maybe next year. Carolling was... to me... quite stressful, haha. I'm never going to agree to take charge of anything that has anything to do with chinese people, food and traveling time, ever again. BUT, it was good to see that the MAJORITY of everyone showed up on-time (mostly) for church this morning. That was my biggest fear with organizing carolling this year... that it would end up going late as usual and everybody would be too tired to go to church.

Anyways, spent time at home after church today just cause it felt like a home-day. An R&R day. And it was good. I got to play with all 3 of my new Game Cube games, haha. James Bond is going to take some time getting used to with all these different axis and such... but it seems pretty good. Thanks Leo. Played some soccer with Janet afterwards, and it was pretty stressful trying to beat the computer together on professional, haha... but pretty easy to do individually... hmmmm... :P Thanks Jon Mah for that one. After that, I decided to give Mario Sunshine a go and it was good. Confusing right now cause I don't play much RPGs, but I'll figure it out sooner or later, haha. But I really need to find some time to learn how to play my bass guitar though, ack... so many things to do, so little time to do them in. :P

Wow, I wrote a bunch today... and didn't even realize it. That means it's bed time, night all. Merry Christmas again, and have fun for all of you who are braving the Boxing Day Madness tomorrow. :P

Edit: I just noticed now... but Andrew and Christine Lee gave identical christmas cards this year... haha, okay, that's all.

Edit Again: Found yet another centipede in my washroom, ACK! This time, I was taking a dump, and when I stood back up, I saw the centipede right between my feet, and I was like, WHOA!! but now it has gone down the toilet.

Edit Yet Again: Holy Camoly, I just realized that I spent roughly $530 on gifts this year... that's roughly $200-250 more than I usually spend. Wow... good thing I have this extra temporary job this year. Wow... well... better to spend on other than on yourself. :P Again, hope you all liked your gifts this year, but wow... 530... wow... it sure didn't seem like I spent that much, but wow...

My Workplace

So, this is what my workspace normally looks like. Well.. the decorations have only been up since this week, but that's basically my open cube. And this is what happens.