Wow, Breakforth is over now and boy was it an awesome weekend. I must say, I believe I may have enjoyed Breakforth over YC, though that might be because I was volunteering instead of attending.
Let see, I started this day by sleeping through my alarm, hehe, so instead of waking up at 7, I woke up at 9. Luckily, my first shift didn't start till 12:15pm. :) However, I did miss my ride at 8:15 to go to church. So I ended up going straight to Breakforth and joining the 2nd Morning Worship Service, which was really awesome. Worship was led by Lianna Klassen, whom I have never heard of before, and her songs are more celtic (spelling?) in nature, but nonetheless, it was a really awesome worship session. And the speaker for that morning was Philip Yancey, whom I also have also never heard of before today, but he too was excellent. I somehow misplaced or lost my pen today, so I ended up using my cellphone notepad to take notes, hehe.
After the morning session, I went on shift and set up for the Main Assembly. My ushering position today was much easier than the one last night, though the position last night had a better location in the concert hall. Last night, I was ushering at the VIP reserved seating, so I spent a good two hours or more saying "No, sorry you can't sit here, these seats are reserved" and other such comments. And saying no to people repetitively all night is really tiring, cause it makes you seem so mean. But today, I was ushering at the very back, well... right in front of the bleachers. So the only thing I had to do was collect the offering. But today's main assembly was yet another awesome one, as Robin Mark led worship and David Nasser was the speaker. So many awesome speakers and worship leaders this weekend, just phenomenal. Brian Doerkson, Paul Baloche, Lianna Klassen, Robin Mark, Joyce Meyer, K.P. Yohannan, David Nasser. And not to mention the concerts by Starfield, Rock and Roll Worship Circus and to end it all off, the Newsboys.
So, after the morning session, we had to kick everybody out of the main hall immediately so that the Newsboys could do their sound checks and everything. And it seems that we had some people that refused to leave when the ushers and even security approached them to. But they left after security threatened to call the police in... and it seems that they had actually snuck in. Tsk tsk tsk. So, I volunteered to stay on shift after my 4 hour shift during the main assembly... so I ended up doing a straight 9 hours on shift today. :) But man did we need all the ushers on shift for setting up the Newsboys concert, cause there had to be at least 1000 or more people that came just for the concert. this being OVER the 6000 or so people that was already registered for the concert through the conference itself. So we had security and ushers positioned pratically everywhere in the shaw conference center, and it was packed... and unfortunately, we even had to pack everybody like sardines in order to fit everybody that showed up. And guess who got chosen to ask all the ticket holders (the people that did not attend the conference but was just coming to attend the Newsboys concert) to bunch up like sardines... ofcourse, me. Again, I had to be mean, but I think I made up for it by laughing and joking with everybody that I was in contact with. But when the doors finally were opened, it took us a good 40 minutes just to get everybody into the concert hall itself. But once we all were in and the Newsboys took the stage. WOW, just awesome. And a worship/music concert in a straight concert hall is so much better than around a stadium like at YC. Oh, and the Newsboys were giving away a free book on the Principles of Christianity or something like that... but I think we weren't given enough to give out or something, cause at least half the people did not receive one, which caused a lot of fuss. But oh well... I didn't even get one...
But alas, Breakforth is now over. And I can not wear my beautiful yellow t-shirt everyday anymore, hehe. I must say, it has been a wonderful weekend, even though I am physically and mentally exhausted, I am spiritually renewed. My feet, ankles and legs are so sore. My throat is hoarse and my neck hurts (probably because I passed out once I went to bed last night and I don't think I was in the correct position), but I would do it all over again if I could. :)
Hmm... so I calculated that I was on shift for roughly 26 hours this weekend. Isn't that awesome?? hehe. Some people would argue that I was crazy instead, asking for more work instead of taking my breaks. But I think it was awesome, cause I was only on for 11 hours at the beginning of the conference, and I complained, yes I admit, I complained (not to a supervisor) and I kept wanting and asking, and I got more hours. 4 hours came from finding out that my schedule was missing a shift, another 8 hours for volunteering to help usher for evening concerts and 2 more hours for helping with equipment and take-down. Overall, a very blessed weekend. Even for me, and for those of you who wonder why I can think this was such a blessing when all I did was work? Well, my spiritual gift has always been in Serving, and I enjoy it best when I am in a position to serve. :) Wow, I've written so much over the past 4 days... but I think it will start to die down again in frequency of my blogs. Oh, and breakforth pictures are up at my http://www.flickr.com/photos/g_mahfia/ page for all those who wish to see those pictures and/or all my other pictures I have taken with my d-cam over the past month.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Ask and Ye Shall Receive
Well, the second day of Breakforth has just gone by and it was really really long, but really enjoyable as well. Started off the day as a room host for 700 guests and I even got to introduce Jill Briscoe with her elective on 'The Renewing of the Holy Spirit'. It was really difficult trying to talk over 700 people without a mic, but it worked out in the end, though I accidently introduced her as Dr. Jill Briscoe... and she went up and said that she wasn't a doctor. :) whoops. After that, I quickly bought and eat lunch before heading off to host another elective. The second elective was a Jazz in Worship course by Matt Day, in which Jon Wong was attending as well. :) However, I didn't understand anything that was being said, as I am not musically inclined, so I think I accidently dozed off for a couple minutes at the back of the room. Whoops. :)
So... my schedule stated that I was done for the day after hosting those two seminars. But since it was still relatively early and me being bored, I went around asking supervisors if they needed extra help. Lo and behold, I ended up joining the equipment team at the Crowne Plaza in taking down some equipment. However, strangely... I got a call from Tommy saying that my name had been called for being an usher at that evening's general assembly, so I had to rush back to the Shaw Conference center to figure out what was going on. And what I figured out was that somebody forgot to type in one of my shifts on my schedule... and I was actually supposed to be ushering that night. Hmmm, I actually havn't even eaten dinner yet cause that shift took over my dinner time... oh well...
But you know what?? I kept wanting and asking for more to do at this conference instead of the 11 hours that I was originally scheduled for. And I think by the end of tomorrow night, I'll have logged over 20 hours, as I stayed on an extra 4 hours after my 4 hour shift for the general assembly. So, you know what?? Ask and you shall receive with abundance. :)
I guess the hi-light of the day was the evening general assembly with Paul Baloche, who led an AWESOME worship concert. But to follow up on the awesome worship was K.P. Yohannan, and anybody who has ever heard him speak will agree with me that he is one of the BEST speakers ever. And he did not dissappoint, his sermon touched the entire congregation and brought me and probably the majority to tears with just a sense of renewal in the Holy Spirit and a reconnection with our Lord and Saviour. Dr. KP was so good that we even gave him a standing ovation to end off his time. Then we had an alter call for all those who wanted to take that extra step to show their total commitment to follow Jesus wherever He leads them, which then led to a call to prayer, where hundreds went to the prayer rooms. Overall, the evening service was just terrific. And to end it off, the Rock and Roll Worship Concert was there for the late-night concert. They were good, but not exactly my type, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed Starfield (tsk did I actually say that?? haha...) And they were really, really loud, so I think a lot of people left because of that. But it was one teriffic day, but man am I going to be exhausted tomorrow... and even more exhausted on Monday for school...
So... my schedule stated that I was done for the day after hosting those two seminars. But since it was still relatively early and me being bored, I went around asking supervisors if they needed extra help. Lo and behold, I ended up joining the equipment team at the Crowne Plaza in taking down some equipment. However, strangely... I got a call from Tommy saying that my name had been called for being an usher at that evening's general assembly, so I had to rush back to the Shaw Conference center to figure out what was going on. And what I figured out was that somebody forgot to type in one of my shifts on my schedule... and I was actually supposed to be ushering that night. Hmmm, I actually havn't even eaten dinner yet cause that shift took over my dinner time... oh well...
But you know what?? I kept wanting and asking for more to do at this conference instead of the 11 hours that I was originally scheduled for. And I think by the end of tomorrow night, I'll have logged over 20 hours, as I stayed on an extra 4 hours after my 4 hour shift for the general assembly. So, you know what?? Ask and you shall receive with abundance. :)
I guess the hi-light of the day was the evening general assembly with Paul Baloche, who led an AWESOME worship concert. But to follow up on the awesome worship was K.P. Yohannan, and anybody who has ever heard him speak will agree with me that he is one of the BEST speakers ever. And he did not dissappoint, his sermon touched the entire congregation and brought me and probably the majority to tears with just a sense of renewal in the Holy Spirit and a reconnection with our Lord and Saviour. Dr. KP was so good that we even gave him a standing ovation to end off his time. Then we had an alter call for all those who wanted to take that extra step to show their total commitment to follow Jesus wherever He leads them, which then led to a call to prayer, where hundreds went to the prayer rooms. Overall, the evening service was just terrific. And to end it off, the Rock and Roll Worship Concert was there for the late-night concert. They were good, but not exactly my type, so I didn't enjoy it as much as I enjoyed Starfield (tsk did I actually say that?? haha...) And they were really, really loud, so I think a lot of people left because of that. But it was one teriffic day, but man am I going to be exhausted tomorrow... and even more exhausted on Monday for school...
Saturday, January 29, 2005
Overflow
Well, the first night of Breakforth just went by, and I must say it was good and somewhat confusing as well. I was an overflow usher tonight, so I was to usher at the overflow room where all the off-shift volunteers were supposed to watch the general assembly. However, seems most of the volunteers didn't understand that concept and just went directly up to the main assembly, but that was okay. The confusing part was... showing up to my shift and having no supervisor or anybody around... so me and my usher partner had NO IDEA what we were supposed to do. We even ended up having to control the sound system and the lights in the overflow room along with ushering. The sad thing was, when the call came that there was enough room left over at the main hall for the volunteers, we weren't told anything. So everybody just got up and left, and we were left standing there alone. Strange. And nobody came to replace us... so we ended up extending our shift a half-hour to an hour. But I guess that's normal, cause most of my friends who are volunteers as well wasn't informed on what to do, or had to work longer shifts because of poor scheduling. So that part was extremely confusing.
Brian Doerkson led worship, so that was really good. However, it was really dead in the overflow room, so it wasn't as great as it could have been. Joyce Meyer was the speaker and it was really good, long by an extra half-hour, but it was good. She spoke on going deeper in our relationship with Jesus. :)
However Erwin McManus was unable to show up, so we missed out on a great speaker, and Chris Rice was also delayed, so his concert was canceled as well. Though, I didn't plan on going to see Chris Rice anyways. However, Starfield DID show up and the Starfield concert was really good. And I got some pictures of them, so I'll post those up whenever I have the time.
Anyways, need to sleep now, cause I have to wake up early to go back tomorrow. My legs are sooo tired and I think I might have shin splints... or whatever that's called, so painful...
Brian Doerkson led worship, so that was really good. However, it was really dead in the overflow room, so it wasn't as great as it could have been. Joyce Meyer was the speaker and it was really good, long by an extra half-hour, but it was good. She spoke on going deeper in our relationship with Jesus. :)
However Erwin McManus was unable to show up, so we missed out on a great speaker, and Chris Rice was also delayed, so his concert was canceled as well. Though, I didn't plan on going to see Chris Rice anyways. However, Starfield DID show up and the Starfield concert was really good. And I got some pictures of them, so I'll post those up whenever I have the time.
Anyways, need to sleep now, cause I have to wake up early to go back tomorrow. My legs are sooo tired and I think I might have shin splints... or whatever that's called, so painful...
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Breakforth and Photos
Well, Breakforth 2005 is this weekend. Which means I'll be going to breakforth training tonight. I am going to be an usher and a room host, so that should be pretty cool. This is going to be my first time ever at breakforth, either as a volunteer or as an atendee, so it should be pretty cool. Hopefully I don't do anything stupid or mess up somehow. :)
For those of you who have asked or even wondered why I didn't post any of the pictures I took with my new digital camera online yet... well... I have now. You can view them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/g_mahfia/. One of the cooler features of this site is that if you press the "g_mahfia's tags" link on the right hand side, you can choose to view certain pictures by clicking on their tags. (You can even mix and match tags to find a more specific picture). The larger the tag (in size) means that there is a greater amount of pictures with which that tag has been attached.
However, I don't know where I can post the videos I have taken with my D-cam. So... yeah, if anybody wants to see the videos, or wants a copy of the videos. Just e-mail me or tell me over msn and I can send them to you. Of if anybody knows where I can post videos, let me know. :)
For those of you who have asked or even wondered why I didn't post any of the pictures I took with my new digital camera online yet... well... I have now. You can view them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/g_mahfia/. One of the cooler features of this site is that if you press the "g_mahfia's tags" link on the right hand side, you can choose to view certain pictures by clicking on their tags. (You can even mix and match tags to find a more specific picture). The larger the tag (in size) means that there is a greater amount of pictures with which that tag has been attached.
However, I don't know where I can post the videos I have taken with my D-cam. So... yeah, if anybody wants to see the videos, or wants a copy of the videos. Just e-mail me or tell me over msn and I can send them to you. Of if anybody knows where I can post videos, let me know. :)
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Net Problems
Well... my internet has been kinda crazy over the past few weeks and apparently I posted 15 Fresh Starts because it kept on reporting that it didn't work... but I guess it did. Anyways, being lazy is really bad, cause I figured that this internet problem would go away by itself, but it didn't and I finally got fed up and did something about it, hehe... and me and my friend found that I had about 8 spy and adwares on my computer... so once those got removed... it has been smooth sailings so far. YES!!
Lots of birthdays happening this month on my floor... we already celebrated two birthdays last weekend, and there will be two more this weekend, and two more the weekend afterwards. Too bad I won't be around for either week as I'll be in Vancouver this weekend and volunteering at Breakforth the week after. But oh well... Vancouver should be good, get to see my grandparents and uncles and cousins... and ofcourse, my sister and my parents. And I'm really looking forward to Breakforth, as it will be my first time at Breakforth, and my first as a volunteer as well. Hopefully it isn't too hard, and I don't screw up, hehe, and hopefully I can catch some Sound workshops and learn something. :)
Lots of birthdays happening this month on my floor... we already celebrated two birthdays last weekend, and there will be two more this weekend, and two more the weekend afterwards. Too bad I won't be around for either week as I'll be in Vancouver this weekend and volunteering at Breakforth the week after. But oh well... Vancouver should be good, get to see my grandparents and uncles and cousins... and ofcourse, my sister and my parents. And I'm really looking forward to Breakforth, as it will be my first time at Breakforth, and my first as a volunteer as well. Hopefully it isn't too hard, and I don't screw up, hehe, and hopefully I can catch some Sound workshops and learn something. :)
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Fresh Start
Well, I'm back in Edmonton... and gone through almost the entire first week of the new semester. So far, so good... I seem to be creating some good habits... I'm sleeping early (relatively) though I havn't been able to get any good quality sleep yet. But I'm waking up on time, and going to my classes, even though it's minus 30 outside... brrr...
But yup, seems I'm going to have a Psyco overload this semester as I have 4 Psych classes and one Stat class. Hopefully I understand everything and continue to be motivated to do well. And hopefully, God willing, I actually do well. And if God wants me to stay in University, then if I give my all to Him, it will happen. However, if I'm not meant to be in University any longer, than I'll still give Him my all and He will take care of the rest. Either way, I need to work hard this semester and go to every class and all that jazz.
One cool thing is... I'm in a class with Crystal. Should be interesting... and since that class is the earliest one I have this entire semester, hopefully she can make me show up everyday, hehe. But yeah, other than school... nothing much else is happening I guess. Trying to stay warm, hehe... which isn't really working... cause it's just SOOO cold out. Luckily, I live so close to school. :)
But yup, seems I'm going to have a Psyco overload this semester as I have 4 Psych classes and one Stat class. Hopefully I understand everything and continue to be motivated to do well. And hopefully, God willing, I actually do well. And if God wants me to stay in University, then if I give my all to Him, it will happen. However, if I'm not meant to be in University any longer, than I'll still give Him my all and He will take care of the rest. Either way, I need to work hard this semester and go to every class and all that jazz.
One cool thing is... I'm in a class with Crystal. Should be interesting... and since that class is the earliest one I have this entire semester, hopefully she can make me show up everyday, hehe. But yeah, other than school... nothing much else is happening I guess. Trying to stay warm, hehe... which isn't really working... cause it's just SOOO cold out. Luckily, I live so close to school. :)
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Home Sweet Home
Wow, I've been home for about 10 days now and boy has it been awesome. It has just been so relaxing and just so enjoyable... probably havn't gotten that much sleep over that time, but it was a great time nonetheless. I think today was only the second day that I spent the entire day at home :)
But yeah, I was able to finish all my Christmas shopping on time, actually with at least 2 days to spare too, which was awesome, and I'm hoping that everybody liked their gifts. :) I spent a lot of time with friends, and a bunch of money as well, hehe... for gifts and for well, food. Steak dinners don't come cheap. :) But I found that steak dinners are really the only meals that make me feel satisfied... other meals seem to only make me full, if even.
What else? We got a new Christmas tree this year to replace our old one that basically completely fell apart. This one is bigger than the other one by at least a third... so it was a challenge for me and my mom to put the tree up on our own this year... but we got it and it looks good... don't think anybody even noticed the difference though. :) Hmmm... i really love driving... though winter driving isn't as much fun as summer driving, cause I can't drive as fast, hehe... and I can't see as clearly... which makes me more tense... but so far so good. Safe and sound. :)
But hmmm... found out 4 of my 5 marks already... and well... I guess it was to be expected... though not what I would have wanted for this semester... But I already knew that I screwded up my semester and possibly my entire year completely... but the more I thought about it, the more I talked about it (or tried to explain it) to ppl WHY i screwed up, the more I realized that... MAN, I'm REALLY, REALLY stupid! There's no other way to explain what happened this semester... But yeah... I'm going to have to find time to switch up my next semester courses... and hopefully ace them all (A+) in order to ensure that I don't get booted from Uni... again... considering I don't think I have any more freebies...
Okay, that's all. HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!
But yeah, I was able to finish all my Christmas shopping on time, actually with at least 2 days to spare too, which was awesome, and I'm hoping that everybody liked their gifts. :) I spent a lot of time with friends, and a bunch of money as well, hehe... for gifts and for well, food. Steak dinners don't come cheap. :) But I found that steak dinners are really the only meals that make me feel satisfied... other meals seem to only make me full, if even.
What else? We got a new Christmas tree this year to replace our old one that basically completely fell apart. This one is bigger than the other one by at least a third... so it was a challenge for me and my mom to put the tree up on our own this year... but we got it and it looks good... don't think anybody even noticed the difference though. :) Hmmm... i really love driving... though winter driving isn't as much fun as summer driving, cause I can't drive as fast, hehe... and I can't see as clearly... which makes me more tense... but so far so good. Safe and sound. :)
But hmmm... found out 4 of my 5 marks already... and well... I guess it was to be expected... though not what I would have wanted for this semester... But I already knew that I screwded up my semester and possibly my entire year completely... but the more I thought about it, the more I talked about it (or tried to explain it) to ppl WHY i screwed up, the more I realized that... MAN, I'm REALLY, REALLY stupid! There's no other way to explain what happened this semester... But yeah... I'm going to have to find time to switch up my next semester courses... and hopefully ace them all (A+) in order to ensure that I don't get booted from Uni... again... considering I don't think I have any more freebies...
Okay, that's all. HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Stupid Mistakes
Well... that finally puts the stake straight through the heart... and I was the one who thrust it.
Anyways, seems I AM taking the wrong courses, courses that I don't require for what I WANTED to do... which was physiology... but somehow... I misread the calender and am now taking courses for physiological development or something like that?? which is based on animals... sighs... I didn't want animals... I wanted humans. So... trying to make up for lost time, I tried to change my schedule for next semester, but lo and behold... the course that I require (Physl 211) is a full year course and well... half way through the year, I kinda can't take it. Sigh... so now I'm back yet another year. So... starting next year, I'll probably be doing 2nd year courses... again... 4 years of University... and still doing 2nd year courses... not to mention... some of the Physl courses I'll probably end up taking later will cancel out the credits I got from the Zool courses I took this year. AND the one course that I need that I am taking this year is the one that I am failing at currently... and that is ofcourse, Biochemistry. Hopefully, the courses that I need are going to be offered for spring/summer cause then I can at least catch up a year and only be behind one full year of school instead of two. But what a waste to an entire school year, sigh...
Anyways, fall semester is coming to a close... exams to study for... I should be fine in all my finals... the only one I'm scared to death about is biochemistry. I've already failed the two midterms... so hopefully I do well... but I don't even know where to start or what to know... but hopefully, hopefully I pass the course.
Can't even think about Christmas shopping yet... and since UofA has switched to a UofC schedule for whatever stupid reasons they had... I now finish school 1-2 weeks later than usual, which means I have even less time to do Christmas shopping... sighs... but I sure can't wait to go back home next weekend. Get out of this stressed environment, and try to figure out my life... once again... and hopefully fix it for the better this time round.
Anyways, guess that's all.
Anyways, seems I AM taking the wrong courses, courses that I don't require for what I WANTED to do... which was physiology... but somehow... I misread the calender and am now taking courses for physiological development or something like that?? which is based on animals... sighs... I didn't want animals... I wanted humans. So... trying to make up for lost time, I tried to change my schedule for next semester, but lo and behold... the course that I require (Physl 211) is a full year course and well... half way through the year, I kinda can't take it. Sigh... so now I'm back yet another year. So... starting next year, I'll probably be doing 2nd year courses... again... 4 years of University... and still doing 2nd year courses... not to mention... some of the Physl courses I'll probably end up taking later will cancel out the credits I got from the Zool courses I took this year. AND the one course that I need that I am taking this year is the one that I am failing at currently... and that is ofcourse, Biochemistry. Hopefully, the courses that I need are going to be offered for spring/summer cause then I can at least catch up a year and only be behind one full year of school instead of two. But what a waste to an entire school year, sigh...
Anyways, fall semester is coming to a close... exams to study for... I should be fine in all my finals... the only one I'm scared to death about is biochemistry. I've already failed the two midterms... so hopefully I do well... but I don't even know where to start or what to know... but hopefully, hopefully I pass the course.
Can't even think about Christmas shopping yet... and since UofA has switched to a UofC schedule for whatever stupid reasons they had... I now finish school 1-2 weeks later than usual, which means I have even less time to do Christmas shopping... sighs... but I sure can't wait to go back home next weekend. Get out of this stressed environment, and try to figure out my life... once again... and hopefully fix it for the better this time round.
Anyways, guess that's all.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Cram Time
Well, it's that time of the semester again. Two weeks of too much to do and not enough time to do it in, with the holidays looming in the horizon making it that much harder to focus... not that I've had any focus whatsoever this semester. But yeah, I wrote my Bio 201 third midterm (also final exam) today, and wow, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be... but hopefully I did well, or... at least passed. :) But yeah, didn't study too much on Bio, cause I had my Zool 224 Lab Final Exam today, and wow... 3 hours worth of identifying fish, reptiles, birds and mammals by their order and common names, and so much more stuff, it's crazy. But I think I did pretty good. Not 100% for sure, probably not even 75%... but I'm sure I passed, which is good, cause that lab was brutal for me. I think I even got all three bird calls identified properly, so that's pretty awesome. But for the next week or so, it's going to be study, study, study. And I mean it. I need to do well in all my final exams... well... maybe just Biochemistry. But yeah... that's the last exam for me, so hopefully with all that time, I can finally learn and understand biochem enough to get a decent enough mark to help me pass the course.
But yeah, I guess that's all I have to update for now... oh... and I guess I'll stick with University life for the time being... in the end, it seemed like that was where I was meant to be. So far, I still don't quite know what I'm to become... but I guess that if I stick it out where God put me and actually put in 100% of my effort, then I would end up where he would want me to be. I can't keep expecting to be brought somewhere without actually doing anything for it... but yeah, I got the new Jeremy Camp - Restored cd and the Mercy Me - Undone about... two weeks ago. They're both really good cds.
Hmmm... oh yeah, and I'm sick right now, which sucks. It really sucked trying to write two exams today with a sore throat and a runny nose, cause man that is so irritating... I mean, I couldn't blow my nose or anything, and it was so annoying... probably to everybody else around me to... always having to hear me sniff and everything... but yeah... hopefully I will get better by next monday... my first final...
okay, that's all for now. I think this is like my first post that wasn't EXTREMELY long and this one actually just has a bunch of me talking nonsense... nothing serious, or nothing concrete... not even a structure to it... sighz...
But yeah, I guess that's all I have to update for now... oh... and I guess I'll stick with University life for the time being... in the end, it seemed like that was where I was meant to be. So far, I still don't quite know what I'm to become... but I guess that if I stick it out where God put me and actually put in 100% of my effort, then I would end up where he would want me to be. I can't keep expecting to be brought somewhere without actually doing anything for it... but yeah, I got the new Jeremy Camp - Restored cd and the Mercy Me - Undone about... two weeks ago. They're both really good cds.
Hmmm... oh yeah, and I'm sick right now, which sucks. It really sucked trying to write two exams today with a sore throat and a runny nose, cause man that is so irritating... I mean, I couldn't blow my nose or anything, and it was so annoying... probably to everybody else around me to... always having to hear me sniff and everything... but yeah... hopefully I will get better by next monday... my first final...
okay, that's all for now. I think this is like my first post that wasn't EXTREMELY long and this one actually just has a bunch of me talking nonsense... nothing serious, or nothing concrete... not even a structure to it... sighz...
Friday, November 26, 2004
Screwed Up
Well... guess the first time wasn't a fluke... I am an idiot, cause I failed yet another biochem midterm. I'm so screwed... and there's no excuses either. I screwed this up myself... I screwed up my entire semester, and I don't know what to do... I mean, I guess there are 3 options for this, as far as I can tell...
1) I can just forget about these two midterms and work my butt off and hopefully ace the 50% final... which would help me just barely scrape by in biochem...
or
2) I can talk to Dr. Lemaire and Dr. MacMillan and ask if it's possible for me to have a 100% final... it's do or die... but I'm already in a do or die situation. But if they do permit me to do that, then I at least have a better chance of getting a better mark...
Problem with these 2 is... even if I do somehow pass biochem... and go on with my schedule for this year... I still don't know what my ultimate goal is at University?? what am I aiming for? what is my PURPOSE?? what am I doing here? am I just wasting my life away at something I'm not meant to be doing? I clearly have no motivation here at all and I clearly have no objective here...
So... the third option would be to...
3) Drop out of university all together and pursure a different path. I mean, if university has been teaching me anything... it's that I don't belong here. 2 and a half years, and I'm still screwing up so badly... however, if I do drop out... what would I do? where would I go? Should I pursure a career as a paramedic? which would mean I would move back to Calgary and probably go to SAIT... or what? what else is there for me? what can I do? can I even become a paramedic?? sigh... so many questions... so little answers...
I guess the ultimate questions would be... what am I MEANT to do? who am I MEANT to be? Is everything happening here a sign from God that I shouldn't be here? and if so, then why was I meant to come up to Edmonton? or did I read that wrong as well?? ARGH!! life sucks... but I will prevail, for God is by my side. I just need to realize which direction He is pointing me towards, and to follow, which I guess has always been the hardest thing to do...
oh... and I guess for those of you who actually read my blogs... My dad is doing alright now, he's out of the hospital and is resting at home. Thanks for all your prayers. May God continue to Bless you all.
1) I can just forget about these two midterms and work my butt off and hopefully ace the 50% final... which would help me just barely scrape by in biochem...
or
2) I can talk to Dr. Lemaire and Dr. MacMillan and ask if it's possible for me to have a 100% final... it's do or die... but I'm already in a do or die situation. But if they do permit me to do that, then I at least have a better chance of getting a better mark...
Problem with these 2 is... even if I do somehow pass biochem... and go on with my schedule for this year... I still don't know what my ultimate goal is at University?? what am I aiming for? what is my PURPOSE?? what am I doing here? am I just wasting my life away at something I'm not meant to be doing? I clearly have no motivation here at all and I clearly have no objective here...
So... the third option would be to...
3) Drop out of university all together and pursure a different path. I mean, if university has been teaching me anything... it's that I don't belong here. 2 and a half years, and I'm still screwing up so badly... however, if I do drop out... what would I do? where would I go? Should I pursure a career as a paramedic? which would mean I would move back to Calgary and probably go to SAIT... or what? what else is there for me? what can I do? can I even become a paramedic?? sigh... so many questions... so little answers...
I guess the ultimate questions would be... what am I MEANT to do? who am I MEANT to be? Is everything happening here a sign from God that I shouldn't be here? and if so, then why was I meant to come up to Edmonton? or did I read that wrong as well?? ARGH!! life sucks... but I will prevail, for God is by my side. I just need to realize which direction He is pointing me towards, and to follow, which I guess has always been the hardest thing to do...
oh... and I guess for those of you who actually read my blogs... My dad is doing alright now, he's out of the hospital and is resting at home. Thanks for all your prayers. May God continue to Bless you all.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Well, the long weekend is over now... and like the title suggests, there were good, bad and ugly things over that period.
The Good:
I got to hang out with a lot of friends (new and old) and had an awesome time over the weekend. Saw some HS friends on thursday and met some new ppl as well, ended up eating quite a lot that day, hehe, but we did watch the Incredibles and that was a pretty good movie. We had a pretty awesome time on Saturday as, surprise surprise, Philip organized his first ever event, hehe. :) Everybody seemed to have a really great time during and after dinner at Chianti's, where we ended up having a sorta-arcade like atmosphere at my house. We had the PS2 Karaoke Revolutions 3 (with duets and knockouts) being the most popular item, but we also had another PS2 hooked up to some DDR pads and even to that new drum thingy. We also had a couple ppl playing poker and card games and such, and overall it was just a really fun, loose and relaxing night. Which was great, cause most of the ppl there had spent their time before dinner studying and working on school work. BUT probably the most surprising thing over this long weekend was that I actually got some school work done over that time. :) hehe. Now, if only I would get more done on a regular basis while I'm up here in Edmonton, that would be awesome... if only...
The Bad:
As with all long weekends, or with anytime I find myself back in Calgary during school time, I'm more sleep deprived then ever. hehe. Whoever said that long weekends are meant for recuperation and rest was way off the mark, cause I never get enough rest. And I seem to always use more money then I usually do over that time as well. Though most of it was worth it, good food, good movies, good... well, mostly food, hehe. Oh, and I sure can't sing and boy is my reaction time really slow as proven by DDR, hehe.
The Ugly:
Unfortunately, not everything was nice and peachy over this long weekend as my dad ended up going into the hospital. However, it is still unknown what the true cause of his pain is, but hopefully all will be well. And hopefully my mom will be alright and not stressed over this as well, now that both me and my sister are living away from home and my dad in the hospital... but yeah, God is in control and all will work out according to His will.
The Good:
I got to hang out with a lot of friends (new and old) and had an awesome time over the weekend. Saw some HS friends on thursday and met some new ppl as well, ended up eating quite a lot that day, hehe, but we did watch the Incredibles and that was a pretty good movie. We had a pretty awesome time on Saturday as, surprise surprise, Philip organized his first ever event, hehe. :) Everybody seemed to have a really great time during and after dinner at Chianti's, where we ended up having a sorta-arcade like atmosphere at my house. We had the PS2 Karaoke Revolutions 3 (with duets and knockouts) being the most popular item, but we also had another PS2 hooked up to some DDR pads and even to that new drum thingy. We also had a couple ppl playing poker and card games and such, and overall it was just a really fun, loose and relaxing night. Which was great, cause most of the ppl there had spent their time before dinner studying and working on school work. BUT probably the most surprising thing over this long weekend was that I actually got some school work done over that time. :) hehe. Now, if only I would get more done on a regular basis while I'm up here in Edmonton, that would be awesome... if only...
The Bad:
As with all long weekends, or with anytime I find myself back in Calgary during school time, I'm more sleep deprived then ever. hehe. Whoever said that long weekends are meant for recuperation and rest was way off the mark, cause I never get enough rest. And I seem to always use more money then I usually do over that time as well. Though most of it was worth it, good food, good movies, good... well, mostly food, hehe. Oh, and I sure can't sing and boy is my reaction time really slow as proven by DDR, hehe.
The Ugly:
Unfortunately, not everything was nice and peachy over this long weekend as my dad ended up going into the hospital. However, it is still unknown what the true cause of his pain is, but hopefully all will be well. And hopefully my mom will be alright and not stressed over this as well, now that both me and my sister are living away from home and my dad in the hospital... but yeah, God is in control and all will work out according to His will.
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Falling Back
It's sad how I got an extra hour of sleep because of daylight savings time... and yet I was still so tired this morning. I wonder why... why can't I ever feel awake in the morning? sigh... anyways... on the topic of falling back... I've fallen back into my bad habits of my first year of University and it's going to take a LOT of work to get back on track. First on the list is to get my sleeping habit back on track again... and then it's work work work to get myself back on track in my classes. Going to be tough, but it needs to be done.
I actually forced myself up early on a saturday yesterday, and went out to study... however, I ended up coming back home by noon and taking a 2 hour nap before heading back out again. :) I got at least 4-5 hours of... err... kinda studying done. Found that it is REALLY hard to focus... hehe, especially since I borrowed Mercy Me "Undone" from Jen on friday... so yeah... listened to that cd at least 10 times yesterday. It's a good cd, really good, better than I thought it was. I think I shall go and buy it someday... probably when the new Jeremy Camp cd comes out as well.
Have to do this group research project on the history of whales and their evolution from terrestrial to aquatic... can't say it's going to be my favorite subject... but man... Zoology 224 really sucks. All of us in my group hates it, and basically everybody else... it's so hard and it's such useless information (unless we were to go into like paleontology or something...) but yeah... I wonder why this is a pre-requisite for a physiology degree?? I would have figured it would be anatomy classes, which I think I would enjoy a lot better than zoology. But yeah, should check up on that someday. maybe I'm in the wrong classes... which would suck, cause then I would be an additional year behind in uni again... sigh... at this rate I'm going to be a professional student for the rest of my life.
But yeah, been thinking about what occupation I would end up going into eventually again... and I don't know... sometimes I think I'm just afraid to accept or to actually search and pray for an answer... but random thoughts... I thought about being a teacher again... though it came out as a high school teacher of biology... I always figured I would do elementary... but maybe I'm better suited for High School?? if so... then I did waste a few years of school, cause I could have easily done the 5 year joint science/education program... but whatever... hmmm, paramedic came up again, and it seems to be the most prominent thought for a job... but I don't think I can handle that, too much blood and stress... too quick of a job... don't think I can think that quickly or handle situations with that great of a responsibility that quickly. I mean, can you imagine always being in control of somebody's life when u're on the job everyday? Take an extra second to think things over and it could mean life or death?? so I don't know... and ofcourse, the necessary strange and totally impossible job thought... being on a band... though, if that did come true. I'd have to learn how to sing and play guitar. haha... anyways... yeah, that's a definate no. :) Hmmm... kinda wrote a lot didn't I?? okay, that's all for now. :) Wonder if anybody even reads these?? or... one that's this long, haha... must be somebody who has a LOT of time and nothing else to do... :) so that person must be... YOU!!
I actually forced myself up early on a saturday yesterday, and went out to study... however, I ended up coming back home by noon and taking a 2 hour nap before heading back out again. :) I got at least 4-5 hours of... err... kinda studying done. Found that it is REALLY hard to focus... hehe, especially since I borrowed Mercy Me "Undone" from Jen on friday... so yeah... listened to that cd at least 10 times yesterday. It's a good cd, really good, better than I thought it was. I think I shall go and buy it someday... probably when the new Jeremy Camp cd comes out as well.
Have to do this group research project on the history of whales and their evolution from terrestrial to aquatic... can't say it's going to be my favorite subject... but man... Zoology 224 really sucks. All of us in my group hates it, and basically everybody else... it's so hard and it's such useless information (unless we were to go into like paleontology or something...) but yeah... I wonder why this is a pre-requisite for a physiology degree?? I would have figured it would be anatomy classes, which I think I would enjoy a lot better than zoology. But yeah, should check up on that someday. maybe I'm in the wrong classes... which would suck, cause then I would be an additional year behind in uni again... sigh... at this rate I'm going to be a professional student for the rest of my life.
But yeah, been thinking about what occupation I would end up going into eventually again... and I don't know... sometimes I think I'm just afraid to accept or to actually search and pray for an answer... but random thoughts... I thought about being a teacher again... though it came out as a high school teacher of biology... I always figured I would do elementary... but maybe I'm better suited for High School?? if so... then I did waste a few years of school, cause I could have easily done the 5 year joint science/education program... but whatever... hmmm, paramedic came up again, and it seems to be the most prominent thought for a job... but I don't think I can handle that, too much blood and stress... too quick of a job... don't think I can think that quickly or handle situations with that great of a responsibility that quickly. I mean, can you imagine always being in control of somebody's life when u're on the job everyday? Take an extra second to think things over and it could mean life or death?? so I don't know... and ofcourse, the necessary strange and totally impossible job thought... being on a band... though, if that did come true. I'd have to learn how to sing and play guitar. haha... anyways... yeah, that's a definate no. :) Hmmm... kinda wrote a lot didn't I?? okay, that's all for now. :) Wonder if anybody even reads these?? or... one that's this long, haha... must be somebody who has a LOT of time and nothing else to do... :) so that person must be... YOU!!
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Starting Up
Hmmm... I don't know how this blog thing works... but I'm guessing and hoping that this will be better than me cutting and pasting my thoughts from one page to the other all the time.
So yeah... nothing much going on. It's apparently midterm week at the UofA this week... and surprisingly... I have no midterms this week. So yeah, guess I'll just spend the week catching up in my classes. I need to start cracking in school, cause I'm seriously far behind in all my classes.
But I did start working out last week with Tommy, and I realized that I hadn't stepped into a work out gym since grade 10, yup, that was 4-5 years ago, kinda sad eh?? So surprise surprise... I worked out on what was it... Monday evening... and I was sore till the end of Thursday... kinda pathetic, but hopefully over time I'll get stronger and my body will get used to actually doing work. haha
Hmm, what else... hallway hockey is picking up, hehe... but we seem to be scuffing up the walls a bit. :) yup, I guess that's all for now
So yeah... nothing much going on. It's apparently midterm week at the UofA this week... and surprisingly... I have no midterms this week. So yeah, guess I'll just spend the week catching up in my classes. I need to start cracking in school, cause I'm seriously far behind in all my classes.
But I did start working out last week with Tommy, and I realized that I hadn't stepped into a work out gym since grade 10, yup, that was 4-5 years ago, kinda sad eh?? So surprise surprise... I worked out on what was it... Monday evening... and I was sore till the end of Thursday... kinda pathetic, but hopefully over time I'll get stronger and my body will get used to actually doing work. haha
Hmm, what else... hallway hockey is picking up, hehe... but we seem to be scuffing up the walls a bit. :) yup, I guess that's all for now