Well... guess the first time wasn't a fluke... I am an idiot, cause I failed yet another biochem midterm. I'm so screwed... and there's no excuses either. I screwed this up myself... I screwed up my entire semester, and I don't know what to do... I mean, I guess there are 3 options for this, as far as I can tell...
1) I can just forget about these two midterms and work my butt off and hopefully ace the 50% final... which would help me just barely scrape by in biochem...
or
2) I can talk to Dr. Lemaire and Dr. MacMillan and ask if it's possible for me to have a 100% final... it's do or die... but I'm already in a do or die situation. But if they do permit me to do that, then I at least have a better chance of getting a better mark...
Problem with these 2 is... even if I do somehow pass biochem... and go on with my schedule for this year... I still don't know what my ultimate goal is at University?? what am I aiming for? what is my PURPOSE?? what am I doing here? am I just wasting my life away at something I'm not meant to be doing? I clearly have no motivation here at all and I clearly have no objective here...
So... the third option would be to...
3) Drop out of university all together and pursure a different path. I mean, if university has been teaching me anything... it's that I don't belong here. 2 and a half years, and I'm still screwing up so badly... however, if I do drop out... what would I do? where would I go? Should I pursure a career as a paramedic? which would mean I would move back to Calgary and probably go to SAIT... or what? what else is there for me? what can I do? can I even become a paramedic?? sigh... so many questions... so little answers...
I guess the ultimate questions would be... what am I MEANT to do? who am I MEANT to be? Is everything happening here a sign from God that I shouldn't be here? and if so, then why was I meant to come up to Edmonton? or did I read that wrong as well?? ARGH!! life sucks... but I will prevail, for God is by my side. I just need to realize which direction He is pointing me towards, and to follow, which I guess has always been the hardest thing to do...
oh... and I guess for those of you who actually read my blogs... My dad is doing alright now, he's out of the hospital and is resting at home. Thanks for all your prayers. May God continue to Bless you all.
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"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7.
Did you notice that each sentence starts with a verb? You have to ask, to seek, and to knock before you get an answer!
Action speaks louder than words, even faith cannot stand alone without action: "for it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your month that you confess and are saved" Romans 10:10 - proclaiming your faith is the action!
Turn to God always for your answer, be abide in Him and He will never forsake you!
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