I never realized it before and it took my psychologist to recognize it.
I've lost my dreams.
I've lost my aspirations.
I've lost my passion.
I've lost my motivation.
I've lost my dedication.
I've lost myself.
I've been so scared of failing.
I've been so scared of dreaming.
I've been so scared of taking risks.
I've been so scared of living.
I've told a lot of the youth to push themselves. To reach above their goals and reach for their dreams. I've often likened it to jumping for a ladder. The higher the rung you aim for, the higher you'll end up (even if you don't reach the specific rung you were aiming for and fall down -- you'll still find yourself higher then you are currently at). But if you aim for the lowest rung possible, even if you reach it, you've gone nowhere. The further you imagine yourself to be, the further your skills and knowledge develop to accomadate your dreams.
Here I've been afraid of dreaming. Afraid of aiming for the highest rung possible. I've been content with reaching for something lower then myself because I'm too scared of falling. I work with a safety net, within a comfort zone. I've reached so far below my abilities that I've slowly lost my skills and knowledge. I've gone nowhere.
I wanted to be a doctor. I got scared when my marks weren't good enough. So, I looked down and aimed for a lower rung.
I wanted to be a paramedic. I got scared when I ran into a difficult preceptor. So, I started looking down again for another lower rung.
I want to be... what? What will scare me then? How much further will I look down? When will I finally look back up and realize that I've been going the wrong way in life?
I need to dream again.
I need to breath again.
I need to look up again.
I need to live my life to the fullest.
I don't know everything. But I CAN learn.
I can't do everything. But I CAN try.
I'm not always right. But I CAN believe.
I will make mistakes. But I am NOT a mistake.
I will fail. But I will NOT be a failure.
Yes, I CAN.
I Believe. I Need to.
Time to start looking up again.
Time to start dreaming again.
Time to start living again.
Time to remember that it's okay to be wrong.
Time to remember that I am not perfect and I don't need to pretend to be.
3 comments:
"Dream as if you'll live forever, forgive as if you'll die today."
Don't remember where I saw that, but it's a good motto to live by.
Also, your new header made me go, "What the heck?" and stare for several min. Dude, that's just.., trippy? Haha.
I hope that you know that we are your safety net if u ever need and of course the best safety net - God
It's about time=)
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