A... B... C...

Alone: 23 and counting. Less than half-a-year to make it 24 straight years of being single. lol. Makes you crazy just thinking about all the possibilities that may or may not have happened. But then again... I'm the type of person that really wants that first one to be the only one. So, I guess I can't complain too much. Perhaps I just haven't met the 'One' yet. Or, on the flip side... maybe I'm not who I need to be for the girl that God has chosen for me... makes you wonder.

Bored: Man, I live such a boring life, lol. Nothing ever happens in my life (that I take notice of to consider exciting or new). Or perhaps I just haven't gone out and found it. Either way. I find that my life is really boring. Nothing to ever talk about in my life. "So, what's new with you?" is a question that I never have an answer for in my ultra-mundane life. Or is it that I just don't notice things as much as others? Makes you wonder.

Content: Strangely enough, even with the frequent bombardment of feelings of loneliness and boredom... I'd have to say that I'm actually content with my life. Naturally, there are many things in my life that I could improve on and have been trying to work on lately, but ultimately... I'm strangely content with where I'm at.

Now, was there even a point to this blog? I thought there might have been one when I started typing, lol. But clearly, there wasn't much of one. Oh well.

Spring Cleaning!!

Beautiful weather outside! Woke up relatively early (8am) for a no-work day and decided to go for a run. Actual run. Head outside and run. lol. It felt great. Did a bit of work-out as well on the fitness courses scattered around the Hamptons school. I'm sore now, but it felt great.

Also did something I haven't done for quite a while and haven't done consistently since I was in Junior High. Which was to sit and talk to God outside... in the midst of His creation. Hopefully this will re-awaken my spirit and get me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually on the right path!

I think I've been stuck in a lull of... self-despair and self-pity since I got booted from University that second time. I think I've been sitting around just WAITING for something to happen. For something to fall into place. For a fresh beginning. And honestly... that's just plain stupid.

So... it's time to actually get my feet moving and pursue my dreams. To regain some kind of motivation. To have a reason for waking up in the morning (maybe that's why I can't sleep properly, cause I have no reason to live... more or less). Time to take that mask off... no matter how much it will hurt, or how hard it will be. It's time to grow up again. BJ always asked why I was so rude/obnoxious/sarcastic/etc... and I always told her that it keeps people distant. And maybe it's time to stop that. I can't keep holding on to my failures (perceived or actual) forever. This really struck hard when I was thinking about things this week and things that I never thought as a failure in my life... actually were. The one that I always list off as something that probably has held me down was my academics... but over this week... I've realized that relationships have also been holding me down cause deep-down inside I've viewed a lot of them as failures on my part.

Well, anyways... it's time to move forward. Hopefully, I can continue to do so. I've made a deal with myself that I will no longer touch my playstation on weekdays. I cleaned out my wardrobe and tossed quite a few things... also went shopping yesterday and started buying more things (experimenting - though not by much cause I really am a conservative, lol). And I'm cleaning up my room and the basement now as well. Clear the clutter I live in before I can clear the clutter in my mind/life.

No more sitting around waiting for a train to hit me before I get my life in order. Or maybe the train already hit, lol... either way. Time to clean house!

Losing Money...

I'm spending a lot of money this month... it's strange. More and more just keep disappearing...

But, I did end up with new runners... and a new tennis racket as well. So far, it's pretty good. A lot lighter and I get more power out of it. Now, I need to work on my accuracy, lol. And... I'm starting to wish I had thought about this when I bought it... but... a white handle is not a smart idea... cause I sweat a lot... and I think the white... won't be so white soon, lol. And it will be just disgusting in the end. Oh well... maybe I can keep it clean... or maybe I'll purchase a pair of golf gloves or something and wear that when I play golf and tennis too!!

Ooh, which reminds me... golfing season is here!! Should find some time to go golfing too!!

Oh, and I bought 6 tickets for the Childrens Hospital home lotto. Win-Win situation there. If I win a house, sweet. I'll probably end up gifting it to my parents. And... just keep this one for myself, lol!! =P And if I don't win anything, then that's fine too, cause the donation goes into advancing technology for the Childrens Hospital! =P