Staying Alive!

Okay... time to keep the blogging world alive!!

Well, it's a new year... and everything feels crappy. Not the best way to start off a new year, lol. But that's just the way things are for me right now. Things just feel crappy. Like I told Kingston and Karen sometime this past week... I really have not adjusted well to this... so-called adult life! Why can't I be back in High School with no responsibilities? No worries? A simple day-to-day life... or perhaps it is just my memories of it that feels right. In reality... I probably hated High School at the time too, lol. Sigh. I need to learn to be content with what God has given me right here, right now...

Anyways... on Sunday... I was in... my so-called... loner mode, lol. But Kingstons party was quite refreshing actually and hopefully he had a great time! Again, Happy Birthday! =) But that morning during service I just felt so... dried out. I feel stagnant and it feels like I have been stagnant for quite some time now and it is just starting to hit me. And it feels crappy when God just feels so distant...

And with all the unknowns with my... education and occupation. This is driving me insane with stress. I'm still waiting for my provincial registration card for this year... but they are currently moving offices and are not opened till at least tomorrow and I can't get a hold of them! I'm so scared that I forgot to do something last year to maintain my registration and that is stressing me out. Then... just thinking about getting an EMT job (perhaps out of town) is worrying me cause of all the uncertainty. And will I apply for the Paramedic program next year? or should I work longer as an EMT to gain that confidence and knowledge before moving on? Sigh... the fear of failure is one chain that I have not broken through completely as of yet still.

But hey... I survived last year. And I got quite some nice memories out of it (along with some bad) but I'm going to try go start remembering the good more then the bad from now on. So, who knows? Maybe this year will turn out to be an awesome year!